tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20483553422789933042024-03-06T02:18:54.325-06:00Islamic Psychotherapy OnlineIslamic Psychotherapy Online is an E-Zine incorporating and blending the gems of the noble Holy Quran & Hadith along with the contemporary concepts of Modern Psychology and Social Work. In general, any psychological, behavioral and social issue impacting the Ummah is welcomed to be brought up, addressed, discussed with the ultimate goal to help all Muslims alleviate their individual and social stressors.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2048355342278993304.post-50573351639511820192010-06-27T22:32:00.006-05:002010-08-09T17:02:37.199-05:00<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >ISLAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY ONLINE</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;">Volume 19, July 2010<br />St. Louis, Missouri, USA<br /><br />Editor: Mohamed Ziauddin MSW LCSW<br /><br />In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">FOCUS OF THIS MONTH:<br />ANGER</span><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">ANGER is one of our primary emotions and it is frequently dealt with inappropriately. In Islam, anger is recognized as natural. Islam does not say to totally eradicate anger, because it is not possible and it would be unnatural to do so. What Sharia teaches us is never to be angry for personal motives and if we will ever feel anger or rage, it should be for the pleasure of Allah.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLo-6mLca1RWoaaMutr5rPmPGJ0R3Oa2bLCt8bLEawNO_042J1X_5dMbRq8KflilLxwLPGq1R3cdNatpzu6C0wIsX8q5RJ7E1onYkkrw2fQ6p6-Su_WEBU_8Ld65l1udiCZP9gVf5NSeg/s1600/swoftcornerbyabusedvictims.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 176px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLo-6mLca1RWoaaMutr5rPmPGJ0R3Oa2bLCt8bLEawNO_042J1X_5dMbRq8KflilLxwLPGq1R3cdNatpzu6C0wIsX8q5RJ7E1onYkkrw2fQ6p6-Su_WEBU_8Ld65l1udiCZP9gVf5NSeg/s400/swoftcornerbyabusedvictims.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496709899782974818" border="0" /></a>(www.topnews.us)<br /></div><br />We all know that almost all the times that when we get angry, it is for our personal motives. Many people learn unhealthy ways of processing anger, from suppressing and repressing angry feelings to exploding in rage with little provocation. This could lead them to hurt somebody else especially the weak and the vulnerable OR get hurt themselves and also possibly get into legal & other problems.<br /><br />Anger if unchecked can be directed either inwards by harming self or impulsive acts leading to suicide and if anger is directed at others it could lead to injury and in extreme case to homicide.<br /><br />Below are examples to the extreme:<br /><br />US military personnel Spc. Brandon Bare 19, of Wilkesboro, N.C, had returned to Fort Lewis from Iraq to recuperate from cuts and internal ear injuries in a grenade attack at Mosul , Iraq . He had reportedly stated that HE HAD TROUBLE CONTROLLING HIS ANGER and did not like his wife going out and partying. He got enrolled in treatment program for Anger Management.<br /><br />But before he could complete the program he already got into legal problems. His anger went out of control and he murdered his wife Nabila by stabbing her seventy one times. His lawyer stated that there was nothing to show that this killing was planned. “What this looks like…IS AN ACT OF RAGE, or some sort of other unexplainable act, Attorney Capt. Patrick O’Brien said.<br /><br />As indicated in the past, our Muslim community is not immune from the current individual and social problems faced by our mainstream society.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><br />IT IS TO BE NOTED THAT PROBLEMS WITH ANGER IS "NOT THE ONLY REASON" FOR BELOW HOMICIDES BUT ANGER IS ONE OF THE MANY REASONS RESULTING IN BELOW HOMICIDES. </span><br /><br />If you recall there was a Muslim in St. Louis, Missouri who in the past had repeated parent-child conflict with his westernized teenage daughter and as the conflict continued to escalate without any treatment, at one point, out of anger, he stabbed his teenage daughter to death. <span style="font-style: italic;">(Zein Isa, a Palestinian terrorist who lived in St. Louis, was convicted of killing his daughter Palestina in 1989. Investigators say he was furious she had a black boyfriend, went to a school dance and got a job at Wendy's. Palestina's mother held her down as Isa plunged a 9-inch knife into his daughter's chest ...Foxnews.com)</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0aPNOp0GNHgMf7gc7T84P07zp1hrj8mBhoXNLC5S4E7QpSejNCxxAKiFKflnG_lMxQtIU3Xqlh9cPZ-9uRtsX2Vv5lOvbFM6JbRqYd22HyUYqXeRFhWjoaUvmNWWXrPwnZZybq_ry1UI/s1600/bothsisters.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 311px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0aPNOp0GNHgMf7gc7T84P07zp1hrj8mBhoXNLC5S4E7QpSejNCxxAKiFKflnG_lMxQtIU3Xqlh9cPZ-9uRtsX2Vv5lOvbFM6JbRqYd22HyUYqXeRFhWjoaUvmNWWXrPwnZZybq_ry1UI/s400/bothsisters.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496774575038153890" border="0" /></a><br />AP/Irving Police Department Amina (left) and Sarah Said, 18 and 17, were found shot to death in their father's taxi.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: italic;">(foxnews.Amina Said, 18, and her sister Sarah, 17, were found shot multiple times in a cab outside a suburban Dallas hotel. Police found them after one of the girls called 911 from a cell phone and said she was dying. A capital murder warrant has been issued for Yaser Said, 50, (their father) ....)</span><br /></div><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPE2wrZiyW9vxLIwUNuIZf5K2vgZ74W9t_AhyphenhyphenBFMq9QBzITnX2Euk27KSRgV-3RN5egnP9kZG63aQmgQP2cAyMgLpilcKKOD7_69LRdeiNUpS0CGJNJHNszfFjH73gzvQN2iPhMptLfgs/s1600/aminasaid.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 311px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPE2wrZiyW9vxLIwUNuIZf5K2vgZ74W9t_AhyphenhyphenBFMq9QBzITnX2Euk27KSRgV-3RN5egnP9kZG63aQmgQP2cAyMgLpilcKKOD7_69LRdeiNUpS0CGJNJHNszfFjH73gzvQN2iPhMptLfgs/s400/aminasaid.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496774565605165202" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"> A photo of Sarah Said, 17, in a tribute to the Said sisters on Facebook.<br /><br /><br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5v_v7z_1t3E9eSiTvP3jKLTMOHjDOurP5GiwWHDMAgyVxMMjdMPlRHJlX6va_uFpC4aTo4AAU5qBW47IiY64JvzttumDDAjaeXFfYBcWN6Dyl4GmEaMuPEIAIRy59SHRLs2EhPLSId_Y/s1600/mylifeofcrimewordpresscom.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 311px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5v_v7z_1t3E9eSiTvP3jKLTMOHjDOurP5GiwWHDMAgyVxMMjdMPlRHJlX6va_uFpC4aTo4AAU5qBW47IiY64JvzttumDDAjaeXFfYBcWN6Dyl4GmEaMuPEIAIRy59SHRLs2EhPLSId_Y/s400/mylifeofcrimewordpresscom.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496774583560158994" border="0" /></a>Muslim Television Channel Founder Charged With Beheading His Wife<br />(Husband decapitates his wife because she wanted a divorce)<br />(www.dalje.com)<br /></div><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Muzzammil Hassan established Bridges TV network in the suburbs of Buffalo, New York in 2004, with the hope of showing American Muslims in positive way, Buffalonews reports. However, his idea and reputation were questioned when the police arrested him under suspicion that he decapitated his 37-year-old wife Aasiya. Hassan turned to a police station and reported his wife`s death. He told the officers that his wife was at his office, thus the police went to the TV network to find the headless body. The husband was the prime suspect, because Aasiya filed for divorce and she recently requested a restraining order, thus he was not allowed to come home) </span><br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmHm3YJweXWAnie-K7CZAcG0blRRg95qrYkPjeyrMLRrGSPfoKV5nr3hvJ3WkOkKxXb8qtlfx93rGhbdba5olCLbdvmfeRi8BLzjNi4Vq0u_ZtpuM07OacA4du_fKgViP2ty2kSMKvQSQ/s1600/rashidstrangledbyfather.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmHm3YJweXWAnie-K7CZAcG0blRRg95qrYkPjeyrMLRrGSPfoKV5nr3hvJ3WkOkKxXb8qtlfx93rGhbdba5olCLbdvmfeRi8BLzjNi4Vq0u_ZtpuM07OacA4du_fKgViP2ty2kSMKvQSQ/s400/rashidstrangledbyfather.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496774592732909938" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Above Photo: July 7: Chaudhry Rashid waits with other inmates to make his first appearance in Magistrate Court at the Clayton County Courthouse in Jonesboro, Georgia. (yahoo.news.photos)<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: italic;">(FOXNEWS.com Investigators say that after an argument on the night of July 5, he strangled (his daughter) Kanwal with a bungee cord. He could not accept the "disgrace" a divorce or affair would bring on his family, according to police).</span><br /><br /></div></div><br /></div>On a lighter level, most of us have seen our own family members, relatives, friends, or colleagues losing control over their anger and the subsequent consequences. Anger may also be a symptom in various psychiatric problems.<br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:180%;" >ISLAMIC PERSPECTIVE:</span><br /></div><br />From an Islamic point of view, anger is a trait of Shaitan’s influence and we all must guard ourselves against being dominated by anger. Allah has given us both positive and negative emotions and anger is a negative emotion that we need to tame and control and never allow it to control us. We have a choice here and we need to make a WISE CHOICE. Anger is like Fire.<br /><br />Allah created Shaitan from Fire. The properties of fire - it enrages, spreads, engulfs, burns, leaps, and tries to consume everything within its reach. Very few things can stand in its way.<br /><br />Allah created Man from the dust of the earth and the natural symbolic qualities of dust of the earth are to be settled, simple, humble, down to earth et.c. That’s why when Allah (SUT) told shaitan to prostrate to Adam (ASW). Shaitan refused saying, “I am better than him. You created me from fire, you created Adam (ASW) from Clay. Should fire bow down or prostrate to Clay”. Not surprisingly, Shaitan’s natural properties are arrogance, pride and anger that led him to rebel and refuse Allah’s command.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Allah (ST) says in the Quran:</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">003.134. “Those who spend (freely) whether in prosperity, or in adversity; WHO RESTRAIN ANGER, and pardon (all) men; for God loves those who do good”.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><br />In a Hadith, Prophet Mohamed (SAW) said:</span><br /><br />“Anger is from Shaitan and Shaitan was created from the fire and nothing can extinguish fire except water. Therefore if anyone of you gets angry, perform wadhu”.<br /><br />As a psychotherapist, I see several advantages from above hadith. Generally when we do wadhu, we cleanse ourselves with water following the prescribed ritual. When one does wadhu, it is a step prior to doing the salaat. In most cases, we tend to psychologically calm ourselves down and prepare ourselves to go and pray before Allah. Therefore since our mind is generally conditioned to tone down to a state of calm and peace psychologically, doing wadhu as a response to cope with anger does WORK fairly well to calm us down.<br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:180%;" >CLINICAL PERSPECTIVE:</span><br /></div><br />From a Clinician’s perspective, I would recommend it as a Clinical Intervention for practicing Muslims who have problems with anger. However one should be aware that anger like the switch of a stove has different levels – low, medium and high. Above recommendation is for anger in the low to medium levels.<br /><br />On the lines of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, it would be good to get details on the individual’s bio-psycho-social history, triggers of anger, mechanisms that feed into the anger, identifying the relationship of mechanism to the anger triggers and then formulating the treatment plan. A significant body of research evidence suggests that inappropriate anger responses can be replaced with more appropriate and effective behaviors. Some of the techniques involve problem-solving training, self-control training, cognitive restructuring, stress inoculation and rational-emotive therapy. Most of these techniques are based on a three-step process:<br /><br />(1)Becoming aware of behaviors that are hurtful to self and others.<br /><br />(2) Learning skills or techniques to replace hurtful behaviors and<br /><br />(3) Practicing until the new, more adaptive behaviors become usable in real-life situations.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">THE AREA OF PARTNERSHIP BETWEEN MUSLIMS IN ST. LOUIS AND US:</span><br /></div><br />In St. Louis, we now are offering ISLAMIC ORIENTED ANGER MANAGEMENT GROUP THERAPY to adults. Minimum members of the group should be at least five. For details, please contact us at amyusuf786@gmail.com <span style="display: block;" id="formatbar_Buttons"><span class="" style="display: block;" id="formatbar_JustifyFull" title="Justify Full" onmouseover="ButtonHoverOn(this);" onmouseout="ButtonHoverOff(this);" onmouseup="" onmousedown="CheckFormatting(event);FormatbarButton('richeditorframe', this, 13);ButtonMouseDown(this);"></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">OUR GROUP OBJECTIVES:</span><br /><br />1) To explore the origins of anger and illustrate the dynamics of anger both from Islamic perspective and Cognitive-Behavioral Perspective.<br /><br />2) To help the persons become aware of situational, physical and cognitive clues that precede angry responses and identify their own typical patterns of response in anger provoking situations.<br /><br />3) To help persons become aware of how alcohol and other drugs affect the inappropriate expression of anger.<br /><br />4) To distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate anger responses and help persons see that appropriate responses generally have more positive consequences.<br /><br />5) To present the use of coping statements and cognitive restructuring as positive means of reducing angry feelings.<br /><br />6) To encourage persons to take personal responsibility for their own thoughts, feelings and behaviors.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >EXPECTATIONS AT THE CONCLUSION OF THE GROUP THERAPY SESSIONS:</span><br /></div><br />By the end of this Islamic-Cognitive-Behavioral program our brothers and sisters are expected to have learned alternative, non-aggressive forms of expressing their anger and demonstrate ability to practice these skills in their day to day lives. Please refer interested candidates who may confirm below signs.<br /><br />1) Low frustration tolerance<br />2) Inability to deal with authority figures<br />3) Poor verbal control of overt behaviors<br />4) Poor self-control<br />5) Engaging in self-defeating behaviors.<br />6) Anger was one of the main reasons for (a) Major inter-personal conflict resulting in violence & aggression (b) Being ordered by the Court (c) FAILED RELATIONSHIPS (d) Terminated from job (e) Legal problems et.c.<br /><br />NOTE: Above Social Worker while working in the past in Los Angeles was providing <span style="font-style: italic;">Anger Management Group Therapy </span>to voluntary clients as well as clients who were ordered by the Court as part of their conditions of preventing them to go to jail OR as one of their conditions of probation / parole upon release from jail.<br /></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >THE END </span><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2048355342278993304.post-59911971892785743012010-05-06T15:42:00.003-05:002010-07-24T10:02:52.443-05:00<a id="autosaveButton" class="cssButton" href="javascript:void(0)" target="" onclick="'if"><div class="cssButtonOuter"><div class="cssButtonMiddle"><div class="cssButtonInner"></div></div></div></a><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">ISLAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY ONLINE</span><br /></span></div><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><div style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;">Volume 18, June 2010<br />St. Louis, Missouri, USA<br /><br /></div><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Editor: Mohamed Ziauddin </span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:130%;">In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful<br /></span></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">HOW CAN THE UMMAH BE MORE EFFECTIVE IN LOVING AND HELPING EACH OTHER?</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;">(DISCLAIMER:<br />Some of below mentioned incidents in no way reflects the general unmatched, unparalleled superior quality of services offered by various agencies within the United States. In fact, the Government and the people of the United States are in my personal opinion one of the most open minded and generous people in the world. Not surprisingly you could find people settled down in the U.S from almost every corner of the world. The U.S has generously accommodated millions of refugees from across the conflict zones of the world and has assisted them to settle down in the U.S. Having said the above, as in every culture and country in the world, there is always a small minority of people who I call the "bad apples" who are prejudiced and if not noticed, would not mind violating their own work related policies to express their hate and/or ignorance). </span> </span><br /></div><br /></div><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Once a Muslim brother told me, that he was very depressed and did not know how he could ever pay off his (federal) educational loans. Especially that he has become disabled after getting into an accident and suffering both medical and psychological problems. I arranged him to complete the Application to Discharge his Student Loan and he followed up with his Dr to get a letter of permanent disability and his main financial stressor of the huge loans was wiped out.<br /><br />WE ARE ONE UMMAH IN PRACTICE WHEN WE HELP EACH OTHER. </span><br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">One day in a hospital where I worked, a Muslim woman with hijab came and told me that when she went to the appropriate Govt office and tried to apply for Medical insurance, she was denied. She was a new immigrant from overseas and was five months pregnant. I was really surprised of her denial and wondered about it. Even the undocumented aliens illegally entering the country are given Medical insurance if they were pregnant, how could our Muslima, a legal permanent resident be denied the benefit. I have a strong belief that a piece of cloth over the head of a woman should not make such a prejudicial difference in the outcome of delivery of social services and this is “dead wrong”. I then wrote in an official letter head, a letter addressed to the appropriate agency indicating that I was her Social Worker and referring her to apply for Medical insurance and other related benefits. Later, the Muslima came back and told me about the good news of acceptance of her Medical application and also approval of cash aid and food stamps.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I once worked at a Mental Health facility, and there was one Muslim patient who prayed five times a day within the facility and showed extreme distaste of pork. The non-Muslim Clinician in his documentation made a note that the inmate may have “Obsessive-Compulsive disorder” because he was frequently washing his hands. Apparently the Clinician had no idea that Pt had to wash his hands and feet as part of ablution before his prayers five times a day. He just observed Pt washing his hands and feet & gave him a label via a clinical diagnosis. The same clinician did not know that Muslims did not eat pork and when Pt had reacted extremely hard to the topic of eating pork, the Clinician concluded that Pt may be “paranoid” about pork and other related issues. Above Muslim SW educated the Clinician on Islam. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">A female Muslim teenager came running inside her home from her front yard, crying and saying to her mother that one of her School female classmates attacked her (right in front of her house) and pulled a part of her hair creating a bald spot on her head and telling her that “Osama is your uncle” and “Osama is hiding in your house”. The mother does not know English and contacted me for help. The same female teenager was physically attacked for the second time by the same female student/ perpetrator. I had talked to the School Vice Principal and learnt that they cannot do anything about it since the incident happened outside the School grounds. I advised the teenager’s mother on appropriate steps to take. Police were called and the perpetrator was given a warning and the teenager was never hassled again in any way by the above perpetrator.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">A new Muslim African immigrant female student with very limited knowledge of English was made fun of by few of her African-American female students. In one instance they traumatized her by ganging up close to her and threatening her by pointing a knife at her throat in the female restroom. The victim’s parents don’t speak English and contacted me. I called the School Social Worker and followed up on it. On a follow up phone call, I learnt that the Muslim student’s harassment had subsided and she reported no more harassment since then.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">A homeless Muslim woman at a Shelter stated to the staff that she does not eat pork. She was told that she should be happy that she was at least getting something to eat. She was not offered any substitute of either vegetables or any other dish. Upon knowing the above, I arranged for her transfer to a different shelter that was sensitive to her Islamic values and offered substitute food.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">A Muslim female who strongly believed in hijab but was scared to identify herself as a Muslim wore a silk hijab that had the picture of an American Flag while going to public places. She stated that she feels safer being visibly patriotic (American) and also a devout Muslim. Should one display an American Flag over their head to be safe? This was not the America that most of us know. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">WORST OF ALL, there was a Muslim family that abruptly becomes homeless after loss of job and subsequent eviction. (<span style="font-style: italic;">Note: 83 percent of American families live from pay check to pay check).</span> The father, mother and children were living in a car camping close to the Masjid. When they approached the ISLAMIC CENTER (Masjid) for help, they were given a small amount that hardly lasted for few days. Shockingly, the father was told by the Masjid Management staff that if he again approaches them for help, Police will be called.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">BROTHERS AND SISTERS, WHERE IS THE SPIRIT OF UMMAH and the true feeling that WE ARE ONE COMMUNITY. We don’t expect any Masjid to house the family, but at least they should have referred the family to various family shelters that are available. Unfortunately most of the Masjids do not have a list of such Emergency Housing Resources. We recommend that the Social Service Committees of Islamic Centers have a list of such resources of emergency housing and other basic needs and provide to the needy Muslims as appropriate.<br /><br />People like the above family are an integral part of our UMMAH and let’s not increase their stressors and anxiety by threatening to call the Police.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">In short, the Muslim community in the US is not immune to the social problems that exist in the American society today. Unfortunately, there is no real co-ordinated Islamic infrastructure that currently exists to deal with the social problems faced by the Muslims within the US from an Islamic perspective. The Muslim Community in the US needs to get together and build above infrastructure literally from ground up.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Distributing the Zakat funds each Ramzan to the needy is a great step, but in my personal opinion it hardly fulfills even one percent of our needy</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Muslim population’s need. The resources are already there in the general SOCIAL SERVICES offered by the Federal, State, County and Private Organizations.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">We don’t need to “re-invent the wheel”. All we need is to blend in with our own Islamic Organizational Social Structural Supports as the Christian and</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jewish Social Service Organizations have already done and then team up and co-ordinate with all of them.</span><br /></div><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Social Service Committee as mentioned in previous issues could essentially act as a bridge connecting a needy Muslim to the existing resources in an</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Islamic friendly fashion. This specially applies to the Muslims who do not have access to the various resources for reasons only they know best</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">– Either they have no idea of the resources, or they are shy & not assertive to ask for help and continue to silently suffer, or they do not speak</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">English and are hesitant to reach out. Not surprisingly, hundreds if not thousands of available resources that they could have easily assessed is</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">inadvertently blocked out from such needy individuals.</span><br /></div><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Such Social Service Committees can be like a ONE-STOP center and CLEARING HOUSE to provide needed information and refer the Muslim</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">to the appropriate resources. If they are brushed aside because of their hijab as in the incident mentioned above, or because of their Muslim</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">name or any other prejudicial reason, you can contact us and we can attempt to follow up.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">To us, this is what a true UMMAH is about and it goes way and far beyond just reading the Salaat together in a Masjid or during Idd prayers.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />We need to explore all possible ways to literally join our hands</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">together and help the needy Muslims to the best of our ability.<br /><br />THE END<br /></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2048355342278993304.post-20617778146051350682010-05-06T15:41:00.001-05:002010-07-21T18:30:37.638-05:00<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">ISLAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY ONLINE</span></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Volume 17, May, 2010 </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">St. Louis, Missouri, USA</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Editor: Mohamed Ziauddin </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful </span><br /></div><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">EDITORIAL:</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">ARE WE ONE UMMAH? SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT……. </span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">The word “Ummah” gets recycled & repeated again and again during speeches on Fridays, Idd days and other Islamic special occasions. But to what extent are we really applying it in practice in terms of a strong sense of brotherhood, unity, helping each other especially the most vulnerable ones in our community et.c. ? </span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Let’s analyze one real life example indicated below, to see whether we are indeed one UMMAH just in words or in practice.</span> <br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Several years ago, a young Muslim woman immigrant from overseas with no family support in </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">the US, suddenly developed serious medical problems and unexpectedly died leaving behind a one year old female child.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><br />Her last words to her friends before her death was that she wanted her child to be raised a Muslim. </span><br /><br />Appeals were made on Friday prayers and through informal ways to find any Muslim family that could adopt and raise the child. There was not ONE single individual from our local UMMAH who was willing to adopt the born Muslim infant</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Of course in numbers; we are thousands if not millions. Look at the Idd congregations in the major cities for a sample. Just try to take a new initiative for the good of the Muslim Community, with the best of intentions and see for yourself the quick multiple negative judgmental responses you will receive. compared to positive responses of support.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><br />But when it comes to requesting their participation by action & implementation, only then you tend to face the REALITY in the form of either silence or minimal support. </span></span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">With regard to the above infant, not surprisingly, there was no Muslim family coming forward to adopt the infant, and therefore the infant was adopted by a Christian family and could now be assumed to be possibly attending Church, maybe eating pork and maybe raised as a Christian.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">For our dear Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist and Atheist brothers and sisters of Humanity, whom we love, we don't mean any disrespect. </span><br /><br />THE FOCUS IS ON RESPECTING THE WISHES OF THE MOTHER OF THE INFANT. <br /></span></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">THINK OF IT….That under the very eyes of the local UMMAH, a born Muslim is now a Christian, all because there was not a single MUSLIM who could step up to the plate and adopt this innocent Muslim infant. This same infant may grow up one day to be an adult Christian mother and later a grandmother and she is likely to pass on the same Christian values that she learned from her Christian parents, to her future generation.</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Please note that the death of a mother alone (with no known relatives or friends willing to adopt the child) is not the only cause for a child to be considered for adoption. What is more frequent is when the parents are charged with severe abuse or neglect of the child and remain non-compliant with Court’s recommendation for correction OR the parents may have a medical or psychiatric or substance abuse condition so severe that it significantly impairs their ability to care for their child, and they have no known relatives or friends to adopt the child. In such situations, the child could be given up for adoption.</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> For many Muslim parents, especially those who were born overseas; receiving physical punishment as a means of discipline during their childhood was essentially a normal practice. When such parents re-enact their socially learned child disciplining behavior with their own children in the U.S., at times, they get into legal problems. This initially results in their children being taken away as the ward of the Family Services & Courts and placed in the Foster Care System.</span><br /></div><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />SOMETHING TO REFLECT: </span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">An innocent, extremely vulnerable, helpless, Muslim infant who could not speak for herself given her infancy and who lost her mother resulting in zero family support system, was subsequently considered for adoption, with priority given to any MUSLIM family that would come forward to adopt her. </span><br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FINAL OUTCOME: NO MUSLIM AVAILABLE TO ADOPT THE INFANT. </span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Now you decide for yourself whether we were just spectators and UMMAH in words only OR not. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">DEAR BROTHERS AND SISTERS, I AM ASKING YOU WHAT IS THE STRENGTH AND BONDING OF SUCH A UMMAH THAT COULD NOT COME TO THE RESCUE OF ITS VERY OWN MOST VULNERABLE ONE YEAR OLD? </span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">If you work actively in the Social Services field, you will know for sure, that above was not an exception. If anything, it was just one of the many examples. Many more Muslim children had already inadvertently became Non-Muslims, does the Ummah know about it? It is time that we implement in PRACTICE what ideally a truly UMMAH should be. </span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">TO PREVENT SUCH LAPSES IN FUTURE WE APPEAL TO THE ISLAMIC CENTERS AND OTHER MUSLIM ORGANIZATIONS TO GO WAY BEYOND IMPLEMENTING THE IMPORTANT RITUALISTIC AND RELIGIOUS PRACTICES AND REACH OUT TO THE PROBLEMATIC LIVES OF OUR VULNERABLE MUSLIMS. PLEASE ATTEMPT TO, IF POSSIBLE HAVE A SOCIAL SERVICE COMMITTEE THAT ASSISTS WITH SOCIAL SERVICE ISSUES FOR MUSLIMS IN THEIR LOCAL COMMUNITY. </span><br /></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">WE APPEAL TO THE AMERICAN UMMAH TO REFER OR FORWARD US A LIST OF INTERESTED COUPLES/FAMILIES THAT ARE OPEN TO ADOPTION OR TO BE A FOSTER PARENT. HAVING SUCH A DATABASE WOULD BE OF TREMENDOUS HELP TO DEPARTMENT OF FAMILY AND CHILDREN SERVICES OF VARIOUS STATES TO MORE EASILY FIND MUSLIM PARENTS WHO ARE WILLING TO ADOPT A MUSLIM INFANT OR BE A FOSTER PARENT FOR THE MUSLIM CHILD. </span><br /></div><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">COMMENTARY:</span></span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">What you are observing in above example is a general absence of Organizational Islamic Social Structural Supports that could easily be a bridge to connect the needy Muslim (whether it is a Muslim infant waiting to be adopted OR any other needy Muslim that needs Social Service help) with the existing resources. As per the above recommendation of setting up SOCIAL SERVICE COMMITTEES, the staff of such committees could link the “Muslim in Need” with a vast array of Federal, State, County and Private Social Services that are available and endeavoring its best to ensure that the “Muslim in Need” receives such services in an Islamically sensitive and Islamic-friendly manner. Such service is specially helpful to those who have language difficulties and unable to access the community resources. </span><br /></div><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" ><br />THE END</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2048355342278993304.post-65811350817838610522010-02-28T23:52:00.007-06:002010-07-21T18:35:30.637-05:00<div style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >ISLAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY ONLINE</span><br />Volume 16, April 2010<br />St. Louis, Missouri, USA<br /><br />Editor: Mohamed Ziauddin<br /><br />In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful<br /></div><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"> </span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">FOCUS OF THIS ISSUE:<br />MENTAL HEALTH IN INDONESIA<br />(CHRONIC MENTALLY ILL) </span></span><br /><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgKmdWB0UmFRY0Vn_3yD6heyJDfXvumyFIf_K_aHE6OMIk20_1MIjKICT72b0xXNaD3MaT4wEZO2PBLVi_5rDuP1aL2DRv_rHjaXbyjkr9t4PF5rGbT4b4sR2aLs9scLkJZfLRqhNZ8s/s1600/mentallyilljakarta.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 399px; height: 288px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgKmdWB0UmFRY0Vn_3yD6heyJDfXvumyFIf_K_aHE6OMIk20_1MIjKICT72b0xXNaD3MaT4wEZO2PBLVi_5rDuP1aL2DRv_rHjaXbyjkr9t4PF5rGbT4b4sR2aLs9scLkJZfLRqhNZ8s/s400/mentallyilljakarta.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496471631474037138" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"> <span style="font-size:85%;"><br />Mental patients take their lunch in front of their shelter at the Galuh foundation compound in East Bekasi, outskirt of Jakarta November 5, 2009. The Galuh foundation house has housed more than 288 underprivileged mental patients since it was founded in 1982 by Gendu Mulatip. The foundation give patients a shelter to stay, treat them with prayers and traditional medicine, and feed them vegetarian food. Most of them became mentally ill due to the poor economy, head nurse Suharyono said on Thursday. REUTERS/Beawiharta (INDONESIA HEALTH SOCIETY) </span></span> </div><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >EDITORIAL:</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">ISLAM is a universal religion that stands for peace, love, care and concern for one another. There is still a lot of room for improvement in terms of caring for one another. </span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ4rZXf6O8_xw_kV-p7S77HELsiC_Xt2IX1KzNWF9wwzRI32jcw_hxNMbETKlngg1qrBK7ZYKceXNdDaPZ_u-yf2CyNrtVlRv15S_0TOpvPbhrH9QwkBFVEMOveg3ZQDgaof6MMXU-ea8/s1600/mentallyuill3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 280px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ4rZXf6O8_xw_kV-p7S77HELsiC_Xt2IX1KzNWF9wwzRI32jcw_hxNMbETKlngg1qrBK7ZYKceXNdDaPZ_u-yf2CyNrtVlRv15S_0TOpvPbhrH9QwkBFVEMOveg3ZQDgaof6MMXU-ea8/s400/mentallyuill3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496471641847095538" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><br />Head nurse Suharyono (L) brings in a man suffering from mental illness shortly after finding him at a street in East Bekasi, outskirt of Jakarta November 5, 2009. REUTERS/Beawiharta (INDONESIA SOCIETY HEALTH) </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The chronic and severely mentally ill are a very vulnerable group of people who are unable to function normally like others in the general population to lead a productive and satisfactory quality of life. We believe that the Government, Public and Private Organizations and Muslims in general should strive to do more than what they are currently doing to assist the mentally ill. For those who are unable to help the mentally ill, the least they can do is at least to avoid the unfortunate stigmatization of the mentally ill. </span><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTee0FxOYFJHPNVrT4OZZSupbH89vg3_Cx0FndOIOfO1ZSyLeBPcWpDohn8_D4eYMuCwHgiIK3vpQk-Dx_Vp7lyfsSLUBZmV5aOyRJgHqVZihFurkXtknJV6yH9V-yzJdmKS8k93t8MPs/s1600/mentallyu4.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 273px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTee0FxOYFJHPNVrT4OZZSupbH89vg3_Cx0FndOIOfO1ZSyLeBPcWpDohn8_D4eYMuCwHgiIK3vpQk-Dx_Vp7lyfsSLUBZmV5aOyRJgHqVZihFurkXtknJV6yH9V-yzJdmKS8k93t8MPs/s400/mentallyu4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496471637914275394" border="0" /></a> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" ><br />A mental patient named Totok reacts during a relax therapy session at the Galuh foundation compound in East Bekasi, outskirt of Jakarta November 5, 2009. REUTERS/Beawiharta (INDONESIA HEALTH SOCIETY)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">We realize the economical, technological limitations and other realities "on the ground" of Muslim Governments that may impair their ability to help the mentally ill. One way to reduce such impairment is to give higher priority to such a vulnerable group and increased co-operation and co-ordination with other entities that are specialized in helping the mentally ill. </span><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyAhsuzxpYIDkW3ub3vDa-Vd1LJGdZb6VS61OUMaEXdfaBLNYIkSk2LklLTTQWHoFMlHiqTdxh42qPCC0tJmN8cSLPXs5l-iLwNmeJV6qssw7dViduucUlAGFac-PXYyd2FZL5rQvETzk/s1600/mentallyilljakarta2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 399px; height: 266px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyAhsuzxpYIDkW3ub3vDa-Vd1LJGdZb6VS61OUMaEXdfaBLNYIkSk2LklLTTQWHoFMlHiqTdxh42qPCC0tJmN8cSLPXs5l-iLwNmeJV6qssw7dViduucUlAGFac-PXYyd2FZL5rQvETzk/s400/mentallyilljakarta2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496471638497589410" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Mental patients stand in front of their shelter at the Galuh foundation compound in East Bekasi, outskirt of Jakarta November 5, 2009. REUTERS/Beawiharta (INDONESIA SOCIETY HEALTH) </span></span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">In Indonesia, there is a need for additional structural changes in the mental health system. Once above is implemented, then the focus could be to expand the number of various treatment interventions provided by a multi-disciplinary team. Part of such intervention would include psychotherapy. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Below is a condensed version of an article that briefly enlightens about Mental Health Care for the severely mentally ill in Indonesia. </span><br /></div></div><span style="font-size:180%;"><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></span><div style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Dr. Irmansyah:<br />Improving Mental Health Care in Indonesia</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Director of Mental Health, Indonesia</span> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">www.fic.nih.gov</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Global Health Matters Newsletter<br />(Condensed version)<br /><br /></span></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">A proponent of human rights for the mentally ill, former Fogarty trainee Dr. Irmansyah was recently appointed Indonesia’s director of mental health. Irmansyah is not afraid to say that - as in many developing countries :<br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><br />"Psychiatry is a neglected branch of medicine in Indonesia". </span><br /><br />He shared his views publicly in a recent article he authored for The International Journal of Mental Health Systems. </span><br /></div><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgccnXDsJ2FyL_OxK0Poq6mgSg6FOgHLYmKoMZh3uuzq5rzrhtFF8OGO73OvZNsgwBbhu92pgD0qfjchU4-FhrJs0tfK6Bfrdf6f04W7yjsIhwUdCkRTktkaNqrZ8mHsH6MGRMHECfjL20/s1600/indophoto2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 166px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgccnXDsJ2FyL_OxK0Poq6mgSg6FOgHLYmKoMZh3uuzq5rzrhtFF8OGO73OvZNsgwBbhu92pgD0qfjchU4-FhrJs0tfK6Bfrdf6f04W7yjsIhwUdCkRTktkaNqrZ8mHsH6MGRMHECfjL20/s400/indophoto2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496474393203907666" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;">Photo courtesy of Dr. Irmansyah<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Former Fogarty trainee Dr. Irmansyah (on left) confers with the director of the Jakarta state mental hospital and her staff. Dr. Irmansyah studied genetics, disaster relief and advanced mental health services and systems during a year-long fellowship at Harvard University.</span><br /></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />His particular interest in community mental health services developed during a research project early in his career. “<span style="font-style: italic;">I went to a rural area looking for patients with schizophrenia. Some had been restrained for years. That was not every schizophrenic’s fate, but it wasn’t unusual,”</span> says Irmansyah. <span style="font-style: italic;">“I also interviewed people who had struggled to take care of a family member with schizophrenia. hat encouraged me were families that wanted to let the patient get services, and learn how to take care of them better.”</span></span><br /></div><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" ><br /></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >In his new role as mental health director in the fourth most populated nation in the world, where mental illness is highly stigmatized, Irmansyah faces daunting challenges. Indonesia has less than 500 psychiatrists to serve 230 million people, and there are minimal community services. </span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify; font-weight: bold;">The health ministry plans to create a new department, the Center for Mental Health. This office will have increased authority, elevating the status of mental health in Indonesia, as well as Irmansyah’s position and ability to affect policy.<br /><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcicy9jxPUmUZ1y93fwZa8L7fP6caCs_w6RauuGw320LWaXGDdq8eT11WvS0p_sZenV33EHIZSoaWlNozKn3WeWHPi2pku7N6-bCIOu9MWrHHKrAje9VN0VKMrYjq8FbLX8tYyt3M-5CY/s1600/indonesiamhphoto1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 167px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcicy9jxPUmUZ1y93fwZa8L7fP6caCs_w6RauuGw320LWaXGDdq8eT11WvS0p_sZenV33EHIZSoaWlNozKn3WeWHPi2pku7N6-bCIOu9MWrHHKrAje9VN0VKMrYjq8FbLX8tYyt3M-5CY/s400/indonesiamhphoto1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496474383431665458" border="0" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Photo by Saichu Anwar, courtesy of Photoshare</span><br /></div><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" > </span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />As Indonesia’s new director of mental health, Dr. Irmansyah advocates for the mentally ill in</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">a country with minimal community services and less than 500 psychiatrists for a population of 230 million.</span></span><br /></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Irmansyah led a team that studied the genetics of siblings with schizophrenia. The researchers developed family-based interventions and supported a nascent Indonesian Mental Health Association for people with mental illness and their families.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">When Irmansyah returned to the University of Indonesia in Jakarta after his fellowship, he was elected chair of the psychiatry department. That position, as well as his work in disaster relief in Aceh after the 2004 tsunami, brought him to the attention of the Ministry of Health. </span><br /></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />His Harvard mentor, Dr. Byron Good, says Irmansyah has a deep commitment to building a community-based mental health system able to provide evidence-based psychiatric care. “His appreciation for both basic science and implementation research, his strategic vision and his desire to give a voice to Indonesians suffering from mental illness and their families, makes him a wonderful selection to serve as director of mental health. The Fogarty International Center can be proud of the role it played in his evolution as a leader in Indonesian psychiatry.”</span><br /></div> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><br />Human rights of persons with mental illness in Indonesia: more than legislation is needed. Irmansyah I, Prasetyo YA, Minas H. International Journal of Mental Health Systems 19 June 2009, 3:14.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" ><br />THE END </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2048355342278993304.post-51837008866249512062010-02-08T16:51:00.002-06:002010-07-18T10:00:26.046-05:00<div style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:180%;">ISLAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY ONLINE<br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Volume 15, March 2010<br />St. Louis, Missouri, USA<br /><br />Editor: Mohamed Ziauddin<br /><br />In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful<br /><br />SPOTLIGHT FOR THIS MONTH:<br /><br />ISLAMIC FREEBIES</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >EDITORIAL:</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Being a practicing Muslim has its own advantages and freebies for each person some of which is now confirmed by Science. In other words, Islam was meant to be a simple religion for the good of Mankind. Don't be fooled by the deviated extremists who are essentially the enemies of Islam and are hellbent on dividing humanity by feeding on hate and bloodshed and thereby violating the peaceful tenets of Islam. By simply following what is recommended by Allah and the teachings of our beloved Prophet Mohamed (SAW), there are numerous benefits to be obtained. </span><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /><br /></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size:130%;">(1) HEALTH & HYGIENE:</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:100%;">The US Center for Disease Control spent millions of dollars to research, which would be the single most important factor that could prevent the spread of infection and diseases. They concluded that it was washing hands, which our Prophet Mohammed (SAW) had strongly recommended more than fourteen centuries ago.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">(2) SOCIAL CHARITY:</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><div style="text-align: justify;">Prophet Mohammed (SAW) strongly encouraged giving of charity and added that if one did not have money, goods or services to offer as charity, then one should at least “smile” as it is also a form of charity. The freebie in this is that when you smile, it costs nothing but benefits you - “the one who smiled”.<br /><br />Researchers have found that smiling can benefit your mood. Studies have indicated that moving the muscles that make you smile may trigger chemicals in your brain that actually make you feel better. In a Newsweek article dated 12/10/07, “smiling” has been listed as one of the six simple steps to look younger without surgery.<br /></div><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">(3) VOLUNTEERING TO HELP:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">Prophet Mohammed (SAW) strongly encouraged us to reach out and help others. In so doing, it is a Sawaab and (the good deeds) gets credited to your spiritual account and will be spiritually cashed out during Uiam Qiamah for determination of your permanent destiny in either the Paradise or Hellfire. Some Muslims are glad to offer help but do so only when requested. Our Prophet in most situations initiated and volunteered to reach out and offer help and we need to do the same in the most feasible and practical way possible.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">THE NET RESULT OF SUCH “VOLUNTEERING TO HELP” INITIATIVE:</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">Your spiritual bank would have accumulated ten fold or more of such good deeds credited to your spiritual account most of which would basically be freebies. Above surplus is compared to a situation where you do not initiate help but instead wait for them (the potential receivers) to approach you and request help from you. In the latter, you have already lost the opportunity to earn good deeds from those who were reluctant to approach you to seek help.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">RECENT RESEARCH RECOMMENDS THAT, IF YOU ARE IN A POSITION TO HELP SOMEONE, YOU MAY HAVE TO GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO OFFER YOUR SERVICES VOLUNTARILY. Two research studies show that potential helpers (say, teaching assistants) OVERESTIMATED HOW OFTEN PEOPLE WILL APPROACH THEM, BECAUSE THEY UNDERESTIMATED HOW MUCH ASKING FOR ASSISTANCE CHALLENGES PEOPLE’S SELF-ESTEEM.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">(4) MARRYING AT AN EARLIER AGE:</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">In Islam, Muslims are encouraged to marry at an early age (that is feasible and practical). This applies to both males and females.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >It is not just women who have biological clock, it is men too. Women have unfairly borne the brunt of the blame for birth defects. “The biggest (genetic) threat to society may not be infertility but fertile old men”, says University of Wisconsin in Madison geneticist James F. Crow. </span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Research indicates that male fertility decreases decade by decade, especially after age 35, and aging sperm can be a significant and sometimes the ONLY cause of severe health and developmental problems in offspring, including autism, schizophrenia and cancer. The older the father, the higher the risk. “<span style="font-style: italic;">The birth defects caused by male aging are significant conditions that can cause a burden to families and society,” </span>says Ethylin Wang Jabs, Professor of Pediatric Genetics at Johns Hopkins University and leader of a recent study showing the link between aging paternity and certain facial deformities in offspring.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Several studies have shown that the older the man, the more fragmented the DNA in his ejaculated sperm, resulting in greater risk for infertility, miscarriage or birth defects. Investigations out of Israel, Europe and the US have shown that non-verbal (performance) intelligence may decline exclusively due to greater paternal age; and that men 40 and older are nearly six times more likely to have offspring with autism than men under age 30. Other research shows that the risk of breast and prostrate cancer in offspring increases with paternal age. Fisch has found that when both parents are over 35, paternal aging may be responsible for as many as half of all cases of Down syndrome, formerly thought to be inherited from the mother.<br /></span><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">PROTECTING THE FAMILY JEWELS:</span><br /></div><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Anything that hurts a man’s health hurts his sperm. The GOOD NEWS FOR MEN: preserving your reproductive potential will also keep you healthy.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">TIPS:<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><br />(1) Protect your heart<br /><br />(2) Stay active: </span><br /></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-size:100%;">“If you are trying to have a child in your 30’s, 40’s, or 50’s, getting into the best shape of your life will give you the highest testosterone level possible”, says Fisch. </span></span><br /></div><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br />(3) Watch your weight: </span><br /></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Potbellies (spare tires) and excessive waist size also generate heat that can reach the testicles decreasing the testosterone in sperm. In general, the bigger the belly, the lower the testosterone. </span></span><br /></div><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br />(4) Take antioxidants such as Vitamins C or E, since they may help battle free radicals that play a part in breakdown of sperm DNA. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">(5) As our loving Prophet prohibited intoxicants, don’t abuse drugs, alcohol and smoke. For the simple reason, that they accelerate DNA breakdown in sperm and put the heart and other organs at risk. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">(6) AVOID HOT BATHS, JACUZZIS AND HOT TUBS: ALL CAN REDUCE SPERM COUNTS FOR THREE TO SIX MONTHS. </span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><br />(7) KEEP LAPTOPS ON THE DESK:<br />“BALANCING LAPTOPS ON THE LAP RAISES THE SCROTUM’S TEMPERATURE”, SAYS S.U.N.Y Stony Brook Urologist.<br /><br />(8) SEE AN UROLOGIST:<br />Sperm content and testosterone levels can both be evaluated and treated. You can also ask your doctor to refer you to a lab that tests DNA fragmentation in sperm.</span></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">“WE NOW KNOW THAT MEN AND WOMEN ALIKE COULD BE INCREASING THE RISK OF INFERTILITY OR BIRTH DEFECTS BY WAITING TOO LONG TO HAVE CHILDREN”.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">In other words, by looking for perfection in your life before you conceive, there’s a very real chance you will have LESS THEN PERFECT KIDS”.</span></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">So Brothers and Sisters, most of above problems pertaining to male fertility could have been easily avoided if you just follow the recommendations of our loving Prophet Mohammed (SAW) by marrying while young. Of course, above decision should not be interpreted at the exclusion of several other extremely important factors that needs to be taken into serious consideration (such as financial stability to support spouse and future children, having a stable income and housing et.c). Making above decision to marry is probably one of the most important decisions you would ever make in your life and it needs to be carefully and cautiously made taking all-important aspects into consideration, including the above recommendation of our loving Prophet Mohamed (SAW) to marry at an earlier age based on feasibility and taking into account other practical considerations. </span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >A SIDE NOTE ON COUPLES LIVING TOGETHER AS A MARRIED COUPLE VS UNMARRIED COUPLE:</span><br /></div><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Writer who is also an individual, marital and family psychotherapist, had clients that were an elderly couple who were married for several decades and the wife stated that she has still <span style="font-style: italic;">"not understood" </span>him (her husband).<br /><br />On the other hand, the writer also seen a middle age couple who lived together without marriage for several years. Finally when they decided that they have <span style="font-style: italic;">"understood each other" </span>enough and are ready for the legal commitment of marriage, they MARRIED and the marital union collapsed within two short months thereafter. </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;">EDITOR’S HAND-PICKED RECOMMENDED READINGS & VIDEO VIEWINGS:</span><br /></div><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">(a) <span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >BOOK:</span> “ISLAM – OUR CHOICE: PORTRAITS OF MODERN AMERICAN MUSLIM WOMEN”. Edited by Debra L. Dirks & Stephanie Parlove.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">AN INCREASING NUMBER OF AMERICAN WOMEN ARE EMBRACING ISLAM, ALREADY OVER ONE MILLION CONVERTS. These are modern American women born and brought up in America to non-Muslim parents. They have journeyed down the path of Islam without giving up their American heritage and FOUND LIBERATION and self-actualization by becoming Muslims. This book presents the personal accounts of six American Muslim women who have been kind enough to share their first-person stories of the winding roads they traveled en-route to embracing Islam.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> <span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >(b)</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" > ISLAMIC VIDEO:</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" > Women’s Video Pack. 3. </span><br /><br />Great videos, which shatter the stereotypes, we have about Women’s rights and responsibilities in Islam.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">(1) VIDEO: HIJAB: AN ACT OF FAITH: HIJAB IS ONE OF THE MOST VISIBLE MISUNDERSTOOD SYMBOLS OF ISLAM<br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">This documentary program explains Islam’s concept of modesty and why Muslim women cover. A series of articulate and committed Muslim women with varied backgrounds share their experiences and insights about their choice to wear hijab. The program also tackles many stereotypes relating to hijab and highlights the duty of Muslim men to observe modesty. Participants include the President of Islamic Society of North America – Sr. Ingrid Mattson, Katherine Bullock, Zubeda Vahed, Dr. Sheema Khan, Malika Quick and many others. This video is an important video for Muslims and non-Muslims alike.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">(2) VIDEO: WOMEN’S RIGHTS AND ROLES IN ISLAM:</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> THE GREAT DEBATE:<br /></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br />In a jam-packed auditorium at the University of Milwaukee in Madison organized by Muslim Students Association on Nov 7, 1992. Sister Aminah Assilmi responds to a series of nationally syndicated anti-Islamic articles “Women of the Veil” by Deborah Scroggins.<br /></span></div><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">(3) VIDEO: THE PROPHET’S EMPOWERMENT OF WOMEN:<br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">Sister Aminah Assilmi relates how dynamic Muslim women played an integral role in establishing the first Islamic Society. She also explains how the Prophet encouraged and empowered women to actively participate in the community’s development. Allah’s peace and blessings be with the Prophet Mohamed (SAW). The program includes a question and answer session. Sr. Aminah is an author, broadcaster and community activist. She is also the President of the INTERNATIONAL UNION OF MUSLIM WOMEN.<br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >Acknowledgments:</span><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">(a) Psychology Today – Sept/October 2007.<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">(b) www.soundvision.com<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" >(NOTE: If you are interested to order any of the above, feel free to contact the website www.soundvision.com) </span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" >and order it from them.<br /></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">THE END </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span><br /></div><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2048355342278993304.post-75959934571307628072010-01-26T09:52:00.003-06:002010-07-18T09:11:56.246-05:00<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">ISLAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY ONLINE<br />Volume 14, February 2010<br />St. Louis, Missouri, USA</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span> <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Editor: Mohamed Ziauddin </span></span><br /><br /></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:130%;"> SPOTLIGHT FOR THIS MONTH</span>: </span><br /></div><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" > </span><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE:</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;">EDITORIAL:</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">I have yet to meet one single individual who stated that he never dealt with any difficult person in his life. We found the analysis and solutions from below article from Dr. K. Clark (Rational Emotive Therapy) to be very helpful to deal with difficult people. </span><br /></span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE: </span><br /></span></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Demanding that someone change, and telling ourselves that if he does not change, it’s awful, I can't stand it, he should be damned, causes us to be emotionally upset. INSTEAD WE SHOULD CHANGE IT TO DESIRING, WANTING AND PREFERRING THAT SOMEONE CHANGES, SUCH A SOFTER EXPECTATION LEADS TO MORE CALMNESS. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Difficult people tend to be an obstacle to our goals, threaten our self-esteem and self-acceptance, act in arrogant and annoying ways and use undesirable methods to control situations and us.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">The following are the steps to deal with difficult people:</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Manage your emotional reaction to them first. It is more comfortable to relate to others without feeling a lot of anxiety, anger, intense frustration, or having our self-esteem and self-acceptance threatened. Further we can think more clearly and behave more effectively when dealing with difficult people if we are not severely emotionally upset with them.</span><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Did you know that our emotions and behavior result mainly from our beliefs and self-talk, rather than from the actual events and people in our lives. It is really not difficult people, who cause our distress, but rather our beliefs and self-talk about them and their actions.</span><br /><br /></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">We are responsible for creating our own emotions.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><br />DON’T FORGET, IF DIFFICULT PEOPLE UPSET US, WE HAVE GIVEN THEM PERMISSION TO DO SO.</span></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><br /></span></div><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" > </span><br /><div style="text-align: justify; font-weight: bold;">Coming back to OUR OWN BELIEFS AND SELF-TALK, what do we tell ourselves that disturbs us so much when we are around troublemakers and other difficult people ?<br /><br />Let’s look at irrational beliefs which cause us to become unduly upset with a difficult person or a difficult acting person.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">We all experience frustration in dealing with others. Frustration with others is not getting what you want from them. Low Frustration Tolerance (LFT) results from them. LFT results from believing:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">“Others absolutely must give me what I want and behave as I want, and if they don’t, it’s awful and I-can’t-stand-it’.</span></span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">You should work on increasing your LFT, something over which you have considerable control. Changing the other person is something over which you usually have little or no control.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">To detect your beliefs which cause low frustration tolerance, ask yourself:<br /><br />1) <span style="font-style: italic;">What exactly am I saying to myself about this person?<br /><br />2)What am I yelling myself about his or her actions?<br /><br />3)What am I insisting or demanding that this person do or stop doing?”</span></span><br /><br /></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Difficult people often give confusing, contradictory messages.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">WHEN YOU FEEL EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED OR UPSET WITH OTHERS, USE COPING SELF-TALK STATEMENTS TO HELP INCREASE YOUR ABILITY TO TOLERATE THE FRUSTRATION.<br /><br />The following are examples of coping statements:<br /><br /></span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">1)“I dislike this person’s behavior but I can stand it”.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2) “Sometimes relationships are frustrating, but I can stand the frustration”.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />3) “Life is tough, but I can take it”.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />4) “I don’t like it, that's OK, I can stand it anyway”.</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">OTHER IRRATIONAL BELIEFS THAT CONTRIBUTE TO OUR LOW FRUSTRATION TOLERANCE (LFT) ARE OUR BELIEFS INVOLVING “MUSTS, SHOULDS, CONDEMNATION AND DAMNATION I-CAN'T-STAND IT, ALWAYS, NEVER”).<br /><br /></span> <div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span> </div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">THREE MAJOR MUSTS: IRRATIONAL SELF-TALK</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1) I MUST….</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2) YOU (HE OR SHE) MUST…..</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />3) THE WORLD AND THE CONDITIONS UNDER WHICH I LIVE MUST….</span><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span> <div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">FIVE HOT CONNECTING LINKS: </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">CONNECTING OUR MAJOR MUSTS TO OUR EMOTIONS:</span></span><br /><br /></div></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">1)AWFULIZING: This situation is more than 100% awful, it is horrible, terrible and awful.</span><br /><br /></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">2)I-CAN'T-STAND-THIS:<br />I can’t stand any discomfort, anxiety, anger, or depression. I can’t survive or be happy at all if I have to endure these feelings. I absolutely refuse to accept feeling uncomfortable. This irrational self-talk causes LFT- Low Frustration Tolerance.</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">3)CONDEMNATION & DAMNATION:<br />Wishing punishment and ruin on yourself for others, results in anger directed towards yourself or others.</span><br /><br /></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">4)I AM WORTHLESS:<br />I am no good at all. Low self acceptance, low self esteem and depression can result from this irrational self-talk and thinking.</span><br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">5)ALWAYS AND NEVER:<br />It will always be this way and it will never change</span>.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">IN SHORT, WHEN YOU ARE UPSET, IDENTIFY THE “MUST” “SHOULD” SELF TALK IN YOU AND WORK TOWARDS REPLACING IT WITH ALTERNATIVE SELF TALK.</span><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">RATIONAL ALTERNATIVE BELIEFS:<br /><br /></span></span></div> <div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">1) What I believe and tell myself about events and situations mainly causes my feelings.</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">2) “I prefer to be liked and approved by most people who are significant to me. Knowing that everyone does not like or approve of me is not awful, I-can-stand-it, and I CAN STILL FEEL WORTHWHILE. It is NOT reasonable to expect everyone to approve of me. I have little control over how other people think and feel.</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">3)“I am an imperfect, fallible person who has both strengths and weakness. I will work towards improving myself. There are things I do well. I can learn from my mistakes and from the failures and hard knocks of my life”.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />4) "I had prefer that others and the world be fair and reasonable but life often is not fair. When possible, I will press others to behave fairly".</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">5)"I had prefer that things go the way that I want them to go. Sometimes things go my way and sometimes they don’t. When things don’t go my way, it’s inconvenient or bad but not awful. I don’t like it, but I can stand it. I cannot always control events around me; I can mainly control my beliefs and self about those events and thereby control my feelings to a large extent. I CAN PRAY AND ASK FOR HELP".<br /><br /></span> <div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span> </div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">6)Many potentially dangerous situations may not actually occur. I can be cautious and control dangerous events to some extent. I can handle and adjust to the bad things I cannot change.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />7)Dealing with responsibilities, hassles and chores is a part of life. Attending to problems in their early stages is inconvenient but hardly awful. I-can-stand dealing with problems as they occur.</span><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">8)I would like for others to guide and support me, but it’s more realistic to rely upon myself. I can learn to be more independent.</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">9)My current feelings and behaviors are controlled more by my current beliefs and self-talk than by distant events occurring many years ago. Some parts of my past are unpleasant, but I can learn to live with them. And I have learned from these experiences. I can learn ways to be less upset about unpleasant parts of my past.</span><br /></div><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">10) I am concerned and saddened when bad things happen to others, and I will work towards helping them, if I am able. However the misfortune and unhappiness of others cannot directly cause me to feel extreme anxiety, depression or unhappiness.</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">11) I don’t like problems without perfect solutions, but I can live with them. I can influence, but not entirely control, my world which is complicated and often frustrating.</span> </div><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">WORK ON REPLACING YOUR IRRATIONAL BELIEFS AND ADOPTING RATIONAL ALTERNATIVE BELIEFS SO THAT DIFFICULT PEOPLE ‘WONT DRIVE YOU CRAZY”.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">CONTINUE DISPUTING AND CHALLENGING YOUR IRRATIONAL BELIEFS UNTIL YOU CAN STAND THE BEHAVIOR OF DIFFICULT ACTING PEOPLE.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">WHEN RELATING TO A DIFFICULT PERSON, TURN YOUR DEMAND FOR BEHAVIOR CHANGES INTO A PREFERENCE, THAT HE OR SHE CHANGE HIS OR HER BEHAVIOR, BUT THAT IT’S NOT ESSENTIAL FOR YOUR HAPPINESS OR SURVIVAL.</span><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">METHODS OF COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE:<br /><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Don’t quit a job, attempt to handle a bad situation, or end a troubled relationship while you are significantly emotionally distressed. After managing your low frustration tolerance and anger, decide on a realistic goal regarding your relationship with your difficult person. Next, determine a plan for the best course of action.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">After careful consideration, you may then decide that it is best to end your relationship with a person. However, if you allow ONLY YOUR EMOTIONS to control your behavior, you may find your only goal is releasing anger, expressing rage or seeking revenge.</span><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">IT’S BEST TO CHANGE YOUR ANGER TO ANNOYANCE. Then if you do express annoyance, try to express it WITH THE RIGHT PERSON, THE RIGHT DEGREE, AT THE RIGHT TIME, FOR THE RIGHT PURPOSE, AND IN THE RIGHT WAY. NOT DOING SO, MAY DAMAGE A RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU WANT TO CONTINUE IN THE FUTURE.<br /><br />If you express intense anger or rage, you may defeat yourself as well as the difficult person troubling you. Also, expressing anger at most people merely convinces, them of the correctness of their foolish, obnoxious behavior (Ellis, 1991 audio).</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >SUGGESTIONS FOR COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE:</span><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">1)Acknowledge that it’s not unpleasant people, but rather our beliefs about them and their behavior, which primarily cause our distress.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />2)To cope with difficult people, first manage your emotional reaction to them.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">3)Focus on changing your feelings of anger to less intense feelings of annoyance, displeasure or disappointment.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />4)Express your annoyance and displeasure but not intense anger. You don’t have to become angry first before expressing your annoyance.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />5)BE ASSERTIVE, RATHER THAN PASSIVE OR AGGRESSIVE, IN STATING WHAT YOU WANT. </span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />6)Negotiate with your difficult person and be willing to compromise.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">7)Walk out of the room and separate until both of you have calmed down. As you leave, say something like, <span style="font-style: italic;">“We need a break from this discussion”</span>.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />8)ACCEPT YOUR DIFFICULT PERSON, BUT NOT HIS BEHAVIOR. People are fallible and your difficult person is no exception.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />9)Forgive the person for his foolish and unreasonable behavior.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />10)Try to see the other person’s point of view. Ask enough questions until you can accurately repeat and summarize his or her viewpoint. Be able to paraphrase his or her position so that he or she agrees that you have accurately stated it. Accurately stating another persons position does not mean that you accept it. Merely that you understand it.<br /><br />FEELING THEY ARE UNDERSTOOD, OTHERS WILL OFTEN BECOME A LITTLE MORE REASONABLE.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">11)If needed, leave the situation and become involved in a pleasant activity.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">12)ACCEPT WHAT YOU CAN’T CHANGE.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >THE END </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2048355342278993304.post-5950232454996239272010-01-26T09:34:00.006-06:002010-02-01T11:45:49.730-06:00<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">ISLAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY ONLINE</span></strong></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:78%;" >(Revised Version)</span><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p><o:p></o:p></span></strong></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><strong>Volume 13, January 2010<br /></strong><u1:p></u1:p><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on"><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u2:p></u2:p>St. Louis</span></strong></st1:city><strong></strong></st1:place></st1:city><strong>, <st1:state st="on"><st1:state st="on"><st1:state st="on">Missouri</st1:state></st1:state></st1:state></strong></st1:place></st1:city></st1:place><o:p></o:p></p> <u1:p></u1:p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u2:p></u2:p>Editor: Hajji Mohamed Ziauddin<u1:p></u1:p></span></strong><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u2:p></u2:p><span style="font-size:100%;">IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE MOST BENEFICENT AND THE MOST MERCIFUL</span><u1:p></u1:p></span></strong><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">SPOTLIGHT OF THE WEEK:</span></strong></span><o:p></o:p></p> <u1:p></u1:p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;font-family:arial;" align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong>ANALYSIS OF THE SUICIDE BOMBER:</strong></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;font-family:arial;" align="center"><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">A CLINICAL-PSYCHO-SOCIAL PERSPECTIVE </span><u1:p></u1:p></strong><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><strong><u><span style=";font-family:Tahoma;font-size:13.5pt;" ><u1:p></u1:p><span style="font-size:130%;">ISLAMIC INHIBITORS AND MORAL SPEEDBRAKERS</span></span></u></strong><strong><u><span style=";font-family:Tahoma;font-size:18pt;" ><u1:p></u1:p></span></u></strong><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><u1:p></u1:p><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Generally speaking, killing another human being requires both a psychological and physical act. Such a lovely religion as Islam already has in place ISLAMIC INHIBITORS through its gems of HolyQuran and Hadith that repeatedly emphasize the virtues of practicing Compassion, </span></strong><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Empathy, Forgiveness, Peace, Universal Brotherhood, Love et.c.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Feelings of guilt and fear of being prosecuted if the destructive plan fails and the individual is caught are additional inhibitors. It behooves us to note that for a suicide bomber, his primary, secondary and tertiary motivators to cause destruction are far greater and easily overcomes above Islamic inhibitors. How does one explain such behavior from a practicing Muslim who literally throws all above ISLAMIC INHIBITORS ASIDE and rushes to kill self and others including innocents around him? If this is NOT A PERVERTED AND DISTORTED MOTIVATOR AGAINST THE PEACE LOVING PRINCIPLES OF ISLAM, THEN WHAT ELSE IS?</span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><u2:p></u2:p><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">HISTORICAL SNAPSHOT OF PSYCHOLOGY’S NEGATIVITY TOWARDS RELIGION – Eg. Christianity.</span></b><u1:p></u1:p> <o:p></o:p></p> <u2:p></u2:p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u2:p></u2:p><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">According to Psychologist Dan Carpenter in his article: “Ethical Considerations in Working with Religious Clients”, he stated: <u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">“The culture of Christianity has been influenced by a history of dissatisfaction with psychology. Part of the responsibility for this turbulent past rests with therapists who condemned religiosity as pathological. <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on"><st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on"><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Worthington</st1:place></st1:city></st1:city></st1:place></st1:place></st1:city> (1986) wrote "Conservative Christians prefer like-minded counselors and distrust secular counselors" (p. 425). Citing research by Beutler, Pollack and Jobe (1978), <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on"><st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on"><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Worthington</st1:place></st1:city></st1:city></st1:place></st1:place></st1:city> added <span style="font-style: italic;">"When clients agreed with the initial values of their therapists, they were more attracted to their therapists and were more trusting of them than were clients who did not" (p. 425).</span><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Contemporary insensitivity toward religious belief was preceded in the field by early comments on the part of several prominent members of the psychological community.Warnock captured the essence of the "anti-religious" spectrum of psychology: <u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><i><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p><br /></span></i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><i><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Through the years, religion has been viewed by psychologists and those in related professions in many ways: by Freud as an illusion, an obsession and a fulfillment of infantile wishes; by Jung as an Archetype; by Fromm as human love; by Erikson as an epigenetic virtue; by James as an intensely personal experience, by Sargant as a matter of classical conditioning; by Skinner as a matter of operant conditioning; by Allport as a matter of personal becoming; [and] by Maslow as a quest for man's higher nature...(Warnock, 1989, p. 263) <u1:p></u1:p></span></i></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Fritz Perls viewed theology as projection, the attribution of characteristics to the universe, and he admired those ministers who shifted from belief in a personalized God to embrace "...the basic creative energy of the universe." (Walker, p. 188-89)</span></b> <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Perhaps one of the most famous quotes capturing the anti-religion bias in psychology was made by Albert Ellis (1962) who said "<span style="font-style: italic;">...And because any deity-positing religion almost by necessity involves endowing those members who violate the laws of its gods with a distinct concept of blameworthiness or sinfulness, I am inclined to reverse Voltaire's famous dictum and to say that, from a mental health standpoint, if there were a God it would be necessary to uninvent Him"(p. 142) </span><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Reasons for an often-negative view of religion from psychologists vary from an unthinking acceptance of the "traditional" depreciating views espoused above, which portray religious belief as detrimental to mental health, to more personal issues such as past experience of the therapist.<u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Why is it that "compared with the public at large, secular psychotherapists are less likely to affiliate or participate in organized religion and are more likely to express their spiritual interests in nontraditional ways"? (Genia, 1994, p. 395). Lovinger (1984) posited that training in the sciences (such as psychology, psychiatry and nursing) "is at odds with the religious orientation and background of many Americans" (p. 1). <i>He also stated that the humanist orientation and liberal political outlook of training institutions tends to complement a worldview which is essentially nonreligious, if not anti-religious (p. 2).”</i><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">From the above views of Dr. Dan Carpenter, how could we translate it to the historical perspective of psychologists towards the religion of Islam? To analyze further, with the mainstream media’s general negative attitude towards Islam and the real life suicidal, homicidal and destructive actions of a minority of misguided Muslim suicide bombers, how is Islam being perceived in the world of Psychologists and Psychotherapists? In what ways can practicing Muslim Psychologists and Psychotherapists contribute their valuable input in this behavioral field and make the much needed positive difference? <u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p><br /></span></b></p><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p><span style="font-size:180%;">ISLAMIC COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY:<br /><br /></span><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></div> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p>The writer strongly believes that the emphasis on SEEKING KNOWLEDGE both in the Holy Quran and Hadith was meant to be the building blocks to be built over the foundation of above two gems tailored to the contemporary period of human existence. For example the average Muslim’s perception of the Quranic verse “MANKIND IS BUT ONE COMMUNITY” in the 7 <sup>th</sup> century would be totally different than the perception of the same verse today, when we have phone, internet, fax, satellite TV et.c.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Although during the first phase of Islamic period the emphasis on SEEKING KNOWLEDGE was given lot of attention, unfortunately its emphasis significantly reduced in the subsequent centuries and sadly continues to this day. If Muslims are one-fifth of the world’s population, what percent of the worlds Nobel laureates, leading scientists and researchers are Muslims? Lack of emphasis of seeking such contemporary knowledge was a blow to the Ummah’s ability to effectively deal with its contemporary conflicts on psychological, social, political level.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p><u2:p></u2:p>This easily led to some misguided Islamic leaders being able to win over certain vulnerable Muslims who were initially innocent, sincere and deeply religious but inadvertently fell into their trap by believing the distorted interpretation of Islam. Such misguided leaders fully exploited the weakness of the vulnerable Muslims and ultimately forced them through their own voluntary actions to DESTROY THEIR OWN LIVES.</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >Islamic Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a vast ocean of specialized knowledge integrating the gems of Holy Quran, Hadith and Contemporary Psychology. </span>Below focus on the aspect of “EMOTION” is but one spec in the cosmos of such knowledge. Due to the limited space assigned for each of these weekly issues, even this single aspect of “EMOTIONS” really does not do justice to this issue and is just a snapshot at best.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p>A PRACTICING MUSLIM SEES THE WORLD AROUND HIM THROUGH THE TWO SYMBOLIC EYES OF HOLY QURAN AND HADITH. As long as the information obtained through the various senses – visual (reading Islamic literature et.c) and auditory (hearing Islamic speeches et.c) and subsequent cognition of it are interpreted in the appropriate way, then there are multiple benefits through which both the individual Muslim and the global UMMAH can enjoy their quality of life from practicing Islam. Further the individual would receive the rewards both in this world and in the world hereafter.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p>HOWEVER, IF THE INFORMATION OBTAINED THROUGH THE VARIOUS SENSES are misinterpreted in an inappropriate, twisted and deviant way then there is bound to be COGNITIVE DISTORTION, which would ultimately lead to multiple problems not only to the individual (as the suicide bomber who self-destructs himself) but also on others too (innocent victims including women and children around the suicide bomber).<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p>EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE:<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p>In her book, “HELP FOR EMOTIONS”, Dr. Lynn Clark Ph.D indicates that our emotions are to a great extent controlled by our beliefs, the way we think about the problems we encounter and our silent self-talk.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Interpreting the above from an Islamic perspective, when a small but dangerous group of leaders misinterpret the peaceful gems of Islam to the most vulnerable group of desperate people, the consequences could be DEADLY, to say the least. Such leaders through their misguidance; influence to a significant extent the beliefs and in the process the aspect of “self-talk” of the suicide bombers.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage one’s emotions (Goleman, 1995). Dr. Lynn Clark states that emotional intelligence consists of five abilities:</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <ol start="1" type="1"><li class="MsoNormal" style=""><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p>Being aware of our emotions. <u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></li><li class="MsoNormal" style=""><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Managing our emotions. <u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></li><li class="MsoNormal" style=""><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Motivating ourselves to achieve our goals. <u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></li><li class="MsoNormal" style=""><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Recognizing emotions in others. <u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></li><li class="MsoNormal" style=""><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Managing relationships with others.</span></b></li></ol><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p><u2:p></u2:p>Above Editor believes that very likely the emotional intelligence of a suicide bomber is low. (Similar is the case with his social intelligence, which consists of understanding one’s emotions and behavior, understanding other’s emotions and behavior, and managing relationships). <u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">From a clinical perspective, since emotional intelligence is learned rather than inherited, it can be improved. This is an important aspect to be considered in the treatment milieu while working with not only potential suicidal bombers but also in developing a plan to minimize if not eliminate the growth of a new generation of misguided suicide bombers.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><br /></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><u1:p></u1:p>(1) SUICIDE BOMBERS’S AWARENESS OF HIS EMOTIONS:</span><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">A suicide bomber is not conscious of his silent self-talk statements and automatic thoughts accompanying his emotions and moods. For a suicide bomber, self-talk statements include distorted teachings and twisted interpretations from the Holy Quran and Hadith . Such distorted beliefs are unfortunately further reinforced by genuine Islamic practice, in terms of continuing to do prayers and Zikr. If the gems (prayers and Zikr ) are covered by poison (distorted beliefs glorifying death, destruction and mayhem), no doubt the gem loses its originality and genuine purpose (of working towards peace both within one’s self and towards the outer environment). The suicide bomber has no clue about above distortion and wrongly assumes that he is a martyr of Islam. UNFORTUNATELY THOSE AROUND HIM WHO ALSO HAVE SIMILAR DISTORTED VIEWS, CONTINUE TO ENCOURAGE AND REINFORCE HIS DISTORTED BELIEFS.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p><u2:p></u2:p>Among the four core emotions of contentment, anxiety, anger and depression, the suicide bomber is high on anxiety and anger.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><u1:p></u1:p>(2) SUICIDE BOMBER’S MANAGING HIS EMOTIONS:</span><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">A suicide bomber is very poor in this area. Managing one’s emotions is directly contingent upon being aware of one’s emotions. Due to the distortion in his automatic thoughts and silent self-talk statements alluded to in above paragraph; he is unable to manage his emotions. If anything, he tends tomaladapt in this issue by becoming increasingly detached to his historical worldly likes and dislikes, materialistic anchors, family obligations etc and moves towards being obsessed with taking revenge and thereby falsely assuming that he is becoming a martyr.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">This tends to increase and remain for prolonged periods. Not surprisingly he tends to have a flat affect to environmental stimuli around him. IN SUCH A PROCESS HE ALSO TENDS TO DEVALUE HIMSELF and sees himself </span></b><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:Tahoma;" ><i>as a means</i></span><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"> (to use his body as a vehicle to harm the enemy by destruction to self and others) </span></b><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:Tahoma;" ><i>to an end</i> </span><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">(and supposedly be rewarded by going directly to <st1:place st="on"><st1:place st="on"><st1:place st="on">Paradise</st1:place></st1:place></st1:place>). The distortion lies in his perception of destruction & mayhem being a “noble cause”.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:Tahoma;font-size:180%;" >(3) SUICIDE BOMBER’S MOTIVATION TO ACHIEVE ATTAINABLE GOALS:</span><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Due to his misguidance by unscrupulous extremist elements, his obsession tends to zero in on one single attainable (and graphically destructive) goal – to punish his enemies in the worst possible way by bombing self and others around him. His anger is so intense; that he cares less if there happens to be innocent men, women and children around. SOMEHOW HE HARBORS A DISTORTED BELIEF THAT ALLAH WILL FORGIVE HIM FOR KILLING THE INNOCENTS AROUND HIM AND AWARD HIM DIRECT ACCESS TO <st1:place st="on"><st1:place st="on"><st1:place st="on">PARADISE</st1:place></st1:place></st1:place>.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p><span style="font-size:180%;">(4) SUICIDE BOMBER’S ABILITY TO RECOGNIZE EMOTIONS IN OTHERS:</span><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">A suicide bomber's ability in this area gets significantly reduced. Before destructing himself, he mentally prepares to disconnect himself from the world. It begins with his immediate family, relatives and friends. He also tends to withdraw from others while continuing to obsess over his one and only single goal.</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p><span style="font-size:180%;">(5) SUICIDE BOMBER’S ABILITY TO MANAGE RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS:</span></span><i><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><br /></span></i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><i><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></i></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p>Even in this area, his ability gets significantly reduced. The only social reinforcements that he receives are from his misguided leaders and a small circle of secretive friends of the same group. To them he opens up socially. Unfortunately, they become the fuel and continued reinforcement (in terms of repeatedly reinforcing to him the distorted view of Islam) which helps motivate him to ultimately accomplish his destructive actions.</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><br /></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Tahoma;" ><span style="font-size:180%;"><u2:p></u2:p>SUICIDE BOMBERS IRRATIONAL BELIEFS:</span><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Tahoma;" ><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <ul type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style=""><b><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Tahoma;" ><u1:p></u1:p><u2:p></u2:p>He </span></b><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">has complete support from the Ummah and is doing the highest sacrifice possible for the Ummah. <u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></li><li class="MsoNormal" style=""><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p>He will be remembered by the Ummah as a true martyr. <u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></li><li class="MsoNormal" style=""><b><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Tahoma;" ><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p>Taking heroic burden upon himself by sacrificing his worldly desires of being with family et.c. </span></b><o:p></o:p></li><u1:p></u1:p><li class="MsoNormal" style=""><b><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Tahoma;" ><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p>Dying for the cause of Islam.</span></b></li></ul><br /><u1:p></u1:p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Tahoma;" ><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p>(ED NOTE: Why don’t Imams and Religious Scholars assertively express their view on this issue? If the majority feels above is wrong then why don’t they assertively say so? What about the Ummah in general? Why don’t the majority of the Ummah assertively speak up on this issue?)</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><o:p></o:p></p> <u1:p></u1:p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Tahoma;" ><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p>Absence of contemporary knowledge (in this context), absence of learning alternative coping skills with the stressors that the suicide bomber is facing – occupation, revenge attacks based on tribe or conflict between religious sects et.c. Absence of peace loving spiritual support groups to calm and fan down the heated anger, frustration and sense of desperation and helplessness. Absence of Muslim professionals from Behavioral Medicine including Psychotherapists to offer such a desperate group ways to learn alternative peaceful strategies. </span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <u1:p></u1:p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Tahoma;" ><br /><u2:p></u2:p>SUICIDE BOMBERS ARE LIKE A CANCEROUS CELL, WHICH IS GROWING IN NUMBER AND BY THEIR VIOLENT ATTACKS ESPECIALLY AGAINST INNOCENT MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN ARE DAMAGING THE WHOLE BODY OF THE GLOBAL UMMAH.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><o:p></o:p></p> <u1:p></u1:p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Tahoma;" ><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p>WHY IS IT EMPHASIZED IN ISLAM THAT: “THE INK OF A SCHOLARS PEN IS MORE PRECIOUS THAN THE BLOOD OF THE MARTYR”?</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Tahoma;" ><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Tahoma;" ><u2:p></u2:p>It is a no brainer, that DEVELOPING PEACEFUL ALTERNATIVES TOWARDS CONFLICT RESOLUTION involving the UMMAH, comes not by suicide bombers or an aggressive State’s acts of death and destruction, but by contributions of Imams/Islamic Scholars and Specialists from the Psychology related disciplines. The priority and importance given to the ‘INK OF A SCHOLARS PEN” could be better understood from above.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><o:p></o:p></p> <u1:p></u1:p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Tahoma;" ><u2:p></u2:p>Did our loving Prophet Mohamed (SAW) foresee blood shed because of Ummah’s exclusive focus on history and becoming disconnected from the contemporary realities?<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Tahoma;" ><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Tahoma;" ><u1:p></u1:p>Does Islam value the power of intellectuals more than soldiers who engage in military combat involving blood shed?<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><b><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Tahoma;" ><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <u2:p></u2:p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Tahoma;" ><u1:p></u1:p>What are the Islamic intellectuals doing at the present time, when such a minority of suicide bombers continues to create mayhem and destruction all in the name of ISLAM?<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><br /></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><b><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Tahoma;" ><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><u1:p></u1:p><u2:p></u2:p>SUICIDE BOMBER’S DYSFUNCTIONAL & DISTORTED THINKING & SELF TALK:</span></span><i><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><br /></span></i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><i><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></i></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p><u2:p></u2:p>Despite what we see as graphic violence and destruction in the act of the suicide bomber, in his mind, it is the ULTIMATE LOVE for Allah and the supreme sacrifice of his personal materialistic life for the cause of ISLAM. As a Muslim Psychotherapist, the above Editor argues that above spiritual thinking is not based on facts but by a DISTORTED AND DYSFUNCTIONAL THINKING PATTERN.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p>Obviously the next question arises as to THE ORIGINAL SOURCE of such information that got disseminated and percolated down to the suicide bomber and his destructive invisible “team”. The above Editor argues that certain extremist elements within the Islamic community have perverted the peaceful and noble teachings of the Holy Quran and Hadith to bring in the component of self-destruction and destruction of innocents around them for what ever cause it may be. Most of the IMAMS of the global UMMAH are a peaceful group of religious leaders and are against their followers to resort to suicide bombing. Most of the Imams liberally utilize the gems from Holy Quran and Hadith to guide their community towards the peaceful path. Several examples of such gems advocating patience and perseverance, non-violence, peace, love and universal brotherhood were mentioned in the past three prior weekly issues. But there are definitely a minority of Muslim religious leaders who have twisted and misinterpreted the gems of Holy Quran and encouraged violence, destruction and mayhem among their very desperate, vulnerable and helpless followers.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p>The Ummah through the WORLD MUSLIM LEAGUE should seriously address this growing cancerous issue of suicide bombing and while there is no magic wand to immediately end above anti-Islamic practice, focus must be given to find peaceful alternatives to deal with conflict with a goal and long term time frame to work hard on eliminating such destructive violence of suicide bombing.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u2:p></u2:p>Regardless of involvement of above Ummah’s world body, all Muslims including Islamic organizations both at the grass roots level and national level should address this hot issue and find alternative ways of responding to conflict and oppression.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p><u2:p></u2:p><span style="font-size:180%;">THE THREE KEY PLAYERS TO FACILITATE THE END TO ABOVE HORRIBLE DESTRUCTIVE PRACTICE ARE:</span></span></i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"> <u1:p></u1:p></span></i></b><o:p></o:p></div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p><u2:p></u2:p><span style="font-size:180%;">(a) IMAMS AND ISLAMIC LEADERS: </span></span></i></b><o:p></o:p></p> <u1:p></u1:p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u2:p></u2:p><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Imams and Islamic leaders are encouraged to n<span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">ot just guide and assist in the proper interpretation of the Holy Quran but also to be in SYNC with contemporary times and work towards integrating the gems of Holy Quran with Alternative peaceful strategies based on contemporary knowledge. </span>They are requested to regularly address this issue in their Friday prayers and have the COURAGE to speak out against it. <span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">Many Imams shy away from outright condemning such barbaric acts. </span>They are encouraged to highlight various gems from Holy Quran and Hadith emphasizing the importance of patience, perseverance and working towards peace with all including neighbors, non-Muslims and the world at large. For those Imams in the western world, they need to be given all the more support to be more active in INTERFAITH ACTIVITIES.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p><span style="font-size:180%;">(b) MUSLIM PSYCHOTHERAPISTS<br /></span></span></i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-size:180%;">(From various disciplines – Psychiatry, Psychology, Social Work etc) & COMMUNICATION EXPERTS:</span><br /></span></i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><i><u1:p></u1:p></i></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p><u2:p></u2:p>They are encouraged to do more research in the application of the Islamic gems of Holy Quran and Hadith towards resolving current problems including conflict.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">THE PRACTICE OF SOME MUSLIMS SHYING AWAY FROM ISLAM AND BEING SECULAR IS NOT WORKING, WE ARE ALREADY SEEING IT.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Muslim professionals from the HEALING ARTS should be assertive enough to identify specific aspects on how the misguided leaders are misinterpreting Islamic gems and exploiting our young Muslims to become human fodder of pieces of bones and flesh, while the so-called martyrs could have TRULY CONTRIBUTED IN A MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE WAY FOR THE CAUSE OF ISLAM BY VOLUNTEERING AND WORKING ON HUNDREDS OF PROJECTS THAT COULD HAVE OTHERWISE HELPED THE MUSLIMS IMMENSELY.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-family:Tahoma;font-size:130%;" >Due to such misguided leaders and deaths of the suicide bombers, UMMAH has lost millions of hours of manpower that could have been positively contributed not only for the welfare and benefit of suicide bomber’s immediate family but the local Muslim community at large.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p><u2:p></u2:p><span style="font-size:180%;">(c) GOVERNMENT ENTITIES: </span><u1:p></u1:p></span></i></b><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p><u2:p></u2:p>They also play an extremely important role to help in ending these horrible destructive suicidal, homicidal and destructive acts. They can in so many ways including providing logistic support assist both the IMAMS and the MUSLIM PROFESSIONALS FROM THE HEALING ARTS to eventually eliminate such destructive practice. Ultimately it is not just an individual but also the whole world that wants LASTING PEACE and Inshallah let us all work towards it.<br /></span></b></p><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p></span></b><o:p></o:p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><u1:p></u1:p><span style="font-style: italic;">NOTE:<br /></span></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span></b><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-style: italic;">One of the purpose of writing above article is not only to blend in concepts from the gems of Islam with Psychology but also to encourage the Ummah to begin a serious discussion on this issue especially eliciting feedback from the reluctant but respectable Imams and Muslims from the Healing Arts profession. All opinions are welcome including angrily worded hate e-mails.</span></span></b></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2048355342278993304.post-91138788104031919672008-08-08T07:36:00.011-05:002010-02-01T09:58:30.496-06:00<div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >ISLAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY ONLINE</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Volume 12, December 2009 </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">St. Louis, Missouri</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Editor: Mohamed Ziauddin MSW LCSW ACSW</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful </span><br /></div><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Editorial: </span></span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">As part of practicing Islam we need to be vigilant in terms of being away from drinking alcohol or abusing illegal drugs. We also need to be extra careful when it comes to protecting our children from being lured and exposed to temptations of drinking through various ways including the media, social circle that the children associate with et.c. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></div></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Consumption of alcohol has harmful effects on the individual and the society, some of the below verses of the Quran will reflect on the prohibition of Alcohol in Islam.</span><br /></div><div style="font-weight: bold;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">Surah 2:219</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"They ask about intoxicants and greed of chance. Say: In both of them there is a great sin and means of profit for men, and their sin is greater than their profit. And they ask you to what they should spend. Say: What you can spare. Thus does Allah make clear to you the communications, that you may ponder".</span><br /></div><div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">Surah 4:43</div><div style="text-align: justify; font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">"O you who believe! do not go near prayer when you are Intoxicated until you know (well) what you say..."</span><br /></div><div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify; font-style: italic;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">Surah 5:90</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"O, Ye who believe! wine and game of chance and idols and divining arrows are only the abomination of Satan's handiwork. So shun each of them that you may prosper".</span><br /></div><div> </div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Below is an excellent article titled: Kids drunk in Cyberspace</span><br /><div><br /></div><div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:180%;">KIDS DRUNK IN CYBERSPACE<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" ><span style="font-weight: normal;">(Patrick Moore. tech.yahoo.com)</span></span><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"> "As the alcohol industry has effectively lobbied Congress and their advertising dollars feed the mainstream media, and little attention is paid to the very real and significant effects of their marketing campaigns focused on the youth market.<br /><br />Big alcohol companies have turned to the internet and mobile devices to market booze to underage drinkers. They face some restrictions when it comes to television, since alcohol companies are supposed to limit advertising to thirty percent or less underage audience, but the online marketing projections are not measured carefully, so the weaker projections and enforcement make online marketing attractive to alcohol companies who want to get around established codes.<br /><br />The <span style="font-style: italic;">Marin Institute</span>, reports that big alcohol companies have found a new way to put corporate greed in front of the principles of <span style="font-style: italic;">"responsibility and service".</span></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">We should be spending our time worrying about something that really kills American teens</span>: <span style="font-weight: bold;">"Underage drinking". Liquor brands like Anheuser-Busch try to create a smoke screen by creating web sites full of kid-enticing interactive features such as games but then saying that the sites are for adults only. As the companies well know that the kids can easily access the sites. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">A Georgetown University study reports on some sites, underage youths made up to a significant proportion of total visitors 58.6 percent on bacardi.com, 47.4 percent on skyy.com, and 34 percent on budlight.com. That's no surprise given that any teenager can bypass the ineffective age restriction and these sites by entering a 21+ date of birth. </span><br /></div><div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">The link between booze advertising, underage drinking and the progression to alcoholism, all wrapped in a huge emotional and economic price tag to American society, has been proven "study after study". Instead of feeding the media frenzy about sexual predators on the internt, perhaps we should be spending our time worrying about something that really kills American teens - underage drinking. (Patrick Moore)<br /></div><br /><div style="font-weight: bold;"> </div><span style="font-weight: bold;">THE END </span><br /><br /><div> </div><br /><div> </div><br /><div> </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2048355342278993304.post-32650568577127322722008-07-28T18:43:00.006-05:002010-01-26T11:57:17.237-06:00<div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Islamic Psychotherapy Online</span></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:78%;">(Revised version) </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Volume 11, November 2009</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">St. Louis, Missouri</span><br /><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Editor: Mohamed Ziauddin</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficial and the Most Merciful </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-size:180%;" >SUICIDE </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">AMONG THE ELDERLY:<br />IMPLICATIONS FOR THE ELDERLY MUSLIMS. </span></span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Suicide is a major problem in the United States impacting individuals of different age groups. </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">In terms of the elderly (age 65 and older), although they comprise about 13 percent of the U.S. population, they account for over 18 percent of all suicides. As indicated in the past, our Muslim Ummah is not immune from the contemporary problems facing our society in the U.S. today. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">A significant percentage of American Muslims are immigrants who have been born overseas. Many of the immigrants, once they are settled down, consider it only but natural to sponsor their parents and bring them to live with them in the U.S. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">On the positive side, both the parents and the children are generally happy to be living together again. The children have a feeling of personal contentment that for all the sacrifices made by the parents, the least they could do is to bring their parents to the U.S. and not only live with them but if possible show them around various local and out of town tourist places within the United States et.c. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">However given the economic realities in the US where both husband and wife had to work to support the family, in many cases it leads to increased loneliness of the parents during the the hours of work of their children and in-laws. Many of the elderly lack fluency in English and this makes it difficult to communicate with the new social circle that they may have made in their local neighborhood. In communities where there is large Muslim population, it makes it easier for them to initiate and maintain contacts with other elderly persons who share their same language, culture, nation of birth and or religion. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">As far as the socialization is concerned for the elderly immigrants, it is possible mostly during weekends, when in most cases the elderly persons would have the company of their children with them and have greater opportunities to leave the house either to visit their local Mosque, or to host or be a guest at parties, functions and anniversaries. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">One of the realities for the elderly is that many of them have not just one or two but multiple medical problems and they have to deal with it on a day to day basis. It becomes more hard during the work week when they have no physical or emotional support during most of the day. In many cases, the children may call from work to see how the parent is doing, but it makes a difference when the same child is at home to assist the parent(s) with his /her multiple medical problems. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The extent and frequency to which the elderly parent may need the assistance from the children varies widely depending upon the severity of their medical condition. Many times the child may take off from work to take the parent on Dr's appointments or to hospital as needed. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">At times the parent feels guilty of taking away the time of their child from work and worry if frequent such time offs from work may adversely affect the child's ability to maintain his or her employment in good standing. The elderly parent's guilt may be significantly impacting him or her but they may not verbalize it. This coupled with other ongoing stressors on the elderly may be taking a silent toll. It is always important to KEEP THE COMMUNICATION LINES OPEN not only between the elderly parent and the child but also encourage the elderly parent to reach out and contact other socially supportive resources in the area whatever they may be.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Too frequently the major stressor for the Muslim elderly parent may be the multiple medical problems. Besides the above, there may be other problems such as financial problems in the family that they are currently living and their own feelings of guilt of becoming a financial liability to their children, problems with not having insurance or having only partial insurance or difficulty making the huge co-payments for their medical expenses while being hospitalized or for getting their medications et.c. <br /><br />It could also be relationship problems with the child or child's spouse (in-laws). Or to complicate matters, their medical condition may be worse to the point that they need to be supervised 24/7 which involves their transfer to a nursing facility Not knowing fluent English and feeling lonely and/or abandoned at a nursing home could further increase their sense of alienation from their traditional support system and also increase their stress level. </span>If the multiple stressors continue with no resolution, very likely it may lead to depression and if left untreated it may end in suicide. </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >Not surprisingly, the most common cause for elderly suicide is depression that has not been treated.</span> It is to be noted that about one third of the elderly experience depression. Before assuming the depression purely from a psychiatric view point, it is important for the elderly to receive a physical examination from a medical doctor to rule out physical basis for depression. </span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Some physical conditions may cause symptoms of depression. For example, thyroid disorders, diabetes, Parkinsons disease, multiple sclerosis, strokes, tumors and some viral infections may cause symptoms that mimic depression. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Similarly, some medications may cause symptoms of depression such as blood pressure medication, arthritis medicaton, hormones and steroids. </span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">It is important that an elderly person who has gone through a recent and major stressor must be closely monitored. Some elderly persons may be in denial of their depression or hide their depresson for various reasons. Therefore it is all the more critical to watch closely for any hint of a suicide warning sign or depressive symptom. </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Elderly persons must be encouraged to seek help. </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><br /></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >As Islamic Psychotherapists we call upon all Islamic Centers to ensure that they not only have a SOCIAL SERVICE COMMITTEE but also have a sub-committee that aims to assist the elderly Muslims by taking the following steps: </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1) Identify the number of elderly Muslims in the Islamic Center's catchement area that are in need and willing to receive supplemental help from the Islamic Center. We use the word </span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;">"supplemental"</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> because there is already an assumption that the Federal, State, Local Govt and other private social service organizations are already providing the PRIMARY help to the elderly.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2) Assign a Voluntary Ansar (Case Worker) to the elderly Muslim who need intensive case management. We mean intensive in those cases where the elderly Muslim has very minimal support from family if any. The case worker can monitor the elderly Muslim by frequent and regular phone contact, provide ongoing referrals and links to other social service agencies in the community including (if needed) home health care et.c, Meals on Wheels services et.c. Last but not the least be of immense emotional support to the elderly Muslim.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">It was sad to note during one of my earlier visits to a elderly Muslim in a nursing home who told me that that for the past several years, t<span style="font-style: italic;">here was not a single Muslim that visited him</span>. All of his relatives were oversees and his primary social support initially came when he was living in an apartment in the community and visiting the local Mosque. As his medical condition worsened to the point that he could not physically take care of himself and his medical needs, there was no option but to be permanently placed in a nursing home. WHEN WE TALK ABOUT THE UMMAH, it is here that we need to REALLY CARE FOR THE MOST VULNERABLE AND HELPLESS GROUPS OF PEOPLE WITHIN OUR COMMUNITY. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Anyone needing help to start above Social Service Commitee and subcommitee for the elderly at their local Islamic Center are welcome to e-mail us at below e-mail address and we will be glad to assist them. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">As usual, feel free to e-mail your valuable opinion and comments to mehrunyusuficds.com.</span><br /></div><br /></div><br /><br /></div><div><br /><br /><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2048355342278993304.post-46927002406724773922008-05-16T10:38:00.008-05:002010-01-26T11:41:09.030-06:00<div align="center"><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">Islamic Psychotherapy Online</span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-size:85%;">(Revised Version)</span></strong><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Volume 10, October 2009</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong>St. Louis, Missouri</strong><br /></div><br /><div align="center"><strong>Editor: Mohamed Ziauddin </strong></div><br /><div align="center"><br /><strong>In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful </strong></div><br /><div align="center"><br /><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">FOCUS OF THE WEEK:</span></strong></div><br /><div align="center"><strong></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:180%;">Enhancing the Happiness of your wife<br /><br /></span></div><div align="center"><strong> </strong></div><div align="center"><strong></strong> </div><div align="center"><strong></strong> </div><div align="center"><strong></strong></div><div align="center"><strong></strong></div><div align="center"><strong></strong></div><div align="center"></div><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201018350406522370" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikJQS2c2VYK4Pb-dSd3r5QVhE35lcecsQqdlUVOhc1Eks6qW47_wsanE3Ebyty84wawV5uaw4y3Ei2pdXn4rfM9V4edKOfM8s01In7eTKB_rThgJI179crgDSJWnwOvVmJ-HWoQy1njfU/s400/COUPLE.jpg" border="0" /> </p><p> </p><p><br /></p><div align="justify"><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;"><em>GEMS FROM THE HOLY QURAN:</em></span> </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><br /><strong>(1) Surah Al-Baqarah 2:230</strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>“And women have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable”. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>(2) Surah Ar Rum 30:21</strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>“And among His wonders is this: He creates for you mates out of your own kind, so that you might include towards them, and He engenders love and tenderness between you: in this, behold, there are messages indeed for people who think”. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>(3) Surah Al-Baqarah 2:187</strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>“…They (wife) are as a garment for you, and you are as a garment for them”. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>(4) Surah Al Nisa: 4:1</strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>“O Mankind, be conscious of your Sustainer, who has created you out of one living entity (nafs) and out of it created its mate, and out of the two spread abroad a multitude of men and women. And remain conscious of God, in whose name you demand your rights from one another, and of these ties of kinship, verily, GOD IS EVER WATCHFUL OVER YOU”. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>(5) Surah Al Tawbah 9:71:</strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>“And (as for) the believers, both men and women – they are friends and protectors of one another: they (all) enjoin the doing of what is right and forbid the doing of what is wrong, and are constant in prayer, and render the purifying dues, and pay heed unto God and His Apostle. It is they upon whom God will bestow His Grace; verily, God is Almighty, Wise”. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>(6) Surah Al-Baqarah 2:231</strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>“Do not retain them against their will in order to hurt….” </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>(7) Surah Al Nisa 4:128</strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>“And if a woman has reason to fear ill-treatment from her husband, or that he might turn away from her, it shall not be wrong for the two to set things peacefully to rights between themselves, for peace is best, and selfishness is ever-present in human souls…” </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>(8) Surah An Nisa: 4:19</strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>“It is NOT lawful for you to try to hold your wives against their will, and neither shall you keep them under constraint with a view of taking away anything of what you may have given them, unless it be that they have become guilty of immoral conduct in an obvious manner. Consort with wives in a good manner, for if you dislike them, it may well be that you dislike something which God might yet make a source of abundant good”. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>(9) Surah Al Nisa 4:34 </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>“Men are the (quawwamuna) support of women as God gives some more means than others, and because they spend of their wealth (to provide for them). So women who are virtuous are obedient to God and guard the hidden as God has guarded it. As for women you feel are averse, talk to them persuasively; then leave them alone in bed (without having sexual relations with them) and go to bed with them (when they are willing). If they open out to you, do not seek an excuse for blaming them. Surely God is Sublime and Great”. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>(10) Surah Al Nisa 4:77</strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>“Art thou not aware of those who have been told “Curb your hands….” </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>(11) Surah Al Imran 3:134</strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>“…and hold in check their anger….” </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>(12) Surah 42;41-42:</strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>“But indeed if any do help and defend themselves after a wrong (done) to them, against such there is no cause of blame. The blame is only against those who oppress in wrongdoing and insolently transgress beyond bounds, defying right and justice; for such there will be a penalty grievous”. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>(13) Surah Al Baqqrah 2:217“Oppression is worse than killing”. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><em style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><span style="font-size:180%;">GEMS FROM HADITH: SAYINGS OF PROPHET MOHAMED (pbuh)</span></em></span></div><div align="center"><strong> </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>(1) “The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family:” </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>(2) “NEVER beat God’s handmaidens”. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>(3) “O People, it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women BUT THEY ALSO HAVE RIGHTS OVER YOU. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under Allah’s trust and with His permission. If they abide by your right, then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers”. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>(4) “Your wife has a right against you and your children have a right against you. Give to everyone their rightful claims”. </strong></div><br /><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><br /><strong><span style="font-size:180%;"><em>APPLICATION OF ISLAMIC GEMS IN MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS:</em></span> </strong></div><div align="center"><strong></strong> </div><div align="center"><strong></strong> </div><div align="center"><strong></strong> </div><div align="center"><strong></strong></div><div align="center"><strong></strong></div><div align="center"><strong></strong></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>In an increased Islamophobic era, it is all the more important for the Muslim husbands to truly practice what Islam is, in terms of their respectful and caring relationship with their wives. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>A significantly large percentage of anti-Islamic propaganda focuses on the status of women and this includes the attitude of the Muslim husband towards his wife. This is an area of improvement for most Muslim husbands. Certain negative behaviors of Muslim husbands are more from their regional, national and cultural background than from Islam.<br /><br />Unfortunately for the Islam bashers some of whom are myopic, they don’t see the difference. Nevertheless, it is the responsibility of the Muslim husband to have a sound knowledge of Islam in terms of the above and clearly be able to distinguish and separate out the cultural from the Islamic value system and practice what is Islamic and weed out the negative cultural practices.<br /><br />Needless to say, one of the most important aspect of husband-wife relationship is the communication between them. Towards this end, it is important that the husband ensures that he understands and communicates with his wife in a way that strengthens their relationship. </strong></div><div align="justify"><strong></strong> </div><div align="justify"><strong></strong> </div><div align="justify"><strong></strong> </div><div align="justify"><strong></strong></div><div align="justify"><strong></strong></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"><strong></strong></div><p> </p><p> </p><div align="justify"></div><p></p><p><strong><br /></strong></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><strong>DIFFERENCE OF OPINION will always be there in relationships whether it is employer-employee, husband-wife, father-daughter, brother-sister or between friends. WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS HOW ONE RESPONDS TO DIFFERENCE OF OPINIONS. Such a response may MAKE OR BREAK A RELATIONSHIP. Divorce and the end of relationship occurs not because of the common points between the couple but because of the way they or one of them responded to difference of opinions between themselves. </strong></p><br /><div align="justify"><strong>Areas of conflict for a couple may be due to a number of reasons and may pertain to finances, in-law issues, trust, parenting issues, career related issues, Islamic issues, domination and control issues et.c. It is important that the couple be clear to distinguish the areas that are WITHIN THEIR CONTROL and areas that are BEYOND THEIR CONTROL in terms of dealing with the causes and perpetuation of their ongoing marital stresses. It is strongly recommended that the couple invest their limited energy on focusing on areas THAT ARE WITHIN THEIR CONTROL. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>In many long term marital conflict situations, it is the same conflictual issues that raise its ugly head over and over again in a cyclic manner. Unfortunately due to absence of seeking appropriate psycho therapeutic help and learning new tools to respond, the couple continues to respond to such cyclic conflictual issues in the same inappropriate and ineffective ways that they used in the past without much success. Not surprisingly, the same conflictual issue may temporarily fade away only to return back yet once again and further feed into the cycle of marital stresses for the distressed couple. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>IT IS IN THE ABOVE CONTEXT, THAT ISLAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY COULD BE OF TREMENDOUS HELP TO ASSIST THE COUPLE TO LEARN NEW TOOLS TO EFFECTIVELY DEAL WITH DIFFERENCE OF OPINIONS IN A HEALTHY MANNER. SUCH TECHNIQUES ARE COMPLETELY FREE OF VERBAL OR PHYSICAL ABUSE OR DESTRUCTION OF PROPERTY. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>Use the power of “good sense of humor”. Be cheerful as often as possible, have fun and enjoyment with your wife. Prophet Mohamed (SAW) would (have a running) race with his wife Aisha (RAA) in the desert. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>The husband should also make himself presentable. Just as a husband wants his wife to look nice for him, he needs to realize that his wife also wants the same. Prophet Mohamed (SAW) would always brush with miswak before returning home and loved the sweetest of smells. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>If you feel that your wife made a mistake and is wrong, instead of being verbally abusive or losing temper and using curse words, it is preferable that you remain silent and don’t comment on her wrong. On the other hand, when she does something good, don’t take it for granted and keep quiet. Instead recognize the good you observed in her actions, appreciate her and reinforce the same by thanking her. <span style="font-style: italic;">Being silent on her wrong with above positive affirmation on her good action, would very likely make her realize the difference</span>. When Prophet Mohamed (SAW) would see something inappropriate from his wives – Radi Allahu Anhun, he would remain silent and not comment. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>Affection can be shown by many ways including frequently smiling and embracing your wife. Prophet Mohamed (SAW) stated that smiling is charity and why not earn free rewards on a daily basis besides working to strengthen your relationship with your wife. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>Call your wife by the sweetest of names. Prophet Mohamed (SAW_ had called his wives by nicknames that they loved. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>As part of regular communication specially during changing phases of life and circumstances, ask your wife to write down the top five wishes she would love from you and try your best to implement it to the best of your ability. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>Comfort her in the most challenging times to the best of your ability. Don’t downplay or ignore her inner most wishes and desires. Once Prophet Mohamed (SAW) observed his wife Safiyyah (RAA) was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her and brought her another camel. </strong></div><br /><div align="justify"><strong>Marital life will have its challenges on a continual basis and a good communication backed with working towards common marital objectives will facilitate and make it easier for both partners to be able to work together on resolving such challenges.<br /><br /></strong></div><div align="justify"><strong></strong> </div><div align="justify"><strong></strong> </div><div align="justify"><strong></strong></div><p></p><p align="center"><strong><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201018367586391602" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyNfNSQpiKhm7ILBEHHJ4wUYa0vWGM1cKn0O0KZsPBhMYTwnhz-0WHSFJ1xL54YN6uL6Y36pzBfmppMlfqGxB4EJysPlIR-S6LXxP4HFUCfwGz2Ly9dLo-947CUph-gMT56kMdz_7SRUA/s400/couple-2.jpg" border="0" /></strong><span style="font-size:85%;"><strong>(<em>Husband and wife Justin Valanzola and Sarah Boyle read the Quran soon after getting home from work. The couple converted to Islam while attending the university).(yahoo.news)</em></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;"></span> </p><p><strong><br /></strong></p><p><strong>Last but not the least; make regular duaa to Allah to assist you both in bringing lasting peace of mind and happiness in your marital life. </strong></p><br /><div align="justify"><strong>As usual, feel free to email your valuable comments to mehrunyusuficds.com</strong></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2048355342278993304.post-58889621811229801932008-03-17T17:22:00.014-05:002010-01-26T11:39:41.615-06:00<b style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;font-family:arial;" align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"><b style="">Islamic Psychotherapy Online</b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:78%;" >(Revised version)</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Volume 9, September 2009</span><st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on"><b style=""><br /></b></st1:city></st1:place></p><p class="MsoNormal" face="arial" style="text-align: center;"><st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on"><b style="">St. Louis</b></st1:city><b style="">, <st1:state st="on">Missouri</st1:state></b></st1:place><b style=""><o:p></o:p></b><br /></p><div style="text-align: center;"><b style=""><o:p></o:p></b></div> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; font-family: arial;" align="center"><b style="">Editor: Hajji. Mohamed Ziauddin<o:p><br /></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; font-family: arial;" align="center"><b style="">IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE MOST BENEFICENT AND MOST MERCIFUL</b></p><div style="text-align: center; font-family: arial;"><b style=""><o:p></o:p></b><b style=""><br /><o:p></o:p></b></div> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; font-family: arial;" align="center"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p>WHERE DO WE DRAW THE LINES OF TOLERANCE?</b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >EDITORIAL:<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:100%;">It is true, that Islam is a religion of TOLERANCE based on the teachings of Prophet Mohamed (pbuh) and the Holy Quran. On one hand all Muslims should strive for UNIVERSAL BROTHERHOOD and be tolerant and loving of one another. However when it comes to differences in lifestyles, including sexual orientations, the actions of the Ummah does not seem to reflect the degree of tolerance that Islam is ideally supposed to stand for. So the question is "Where do we draw the lines of tolerance"?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial; font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Based on Allah's command in the Holy Quran:</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" > "There is no compulsion in Religion",</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> we are of the belief that we have no right to force our values on others. The least we can do to respect an adult human being is to accept them for what they are. Having said the above, if we do observe something that we feel is wrong, it is better that we work to address it in ways that is not overly critical, hateful, domineering, demeaning et.c. Trying to impact a change in anyone from the negative to the positive using the tools of affection, love, knowledge would be far more affective than using tools of force, reprimand, neglect, ostracism et.c. Any long lasting change COMES FROM ONE'S HEART and it comes VOLUNTARILY. As tolerant Muslims we need to take the above two into consideration.</span><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">We would love to have feedback from other Muslims in terms of their unique approach to deal with major differences that they find in the sexual lifestyles of other Muslims. Below is one example of a regular gathering of Muslims from sexually diverse lifestyles that do not include heterosexuals in GERMANY. </span><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; font-family: arial;" align="center"><b style=""><br /></b></p><a style="font-family: arial;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDUC8tZO4IcadpAKIEAzfLjqOmF985HT6UEUHlWFezl9JNEMWSISV-q7619OEhyphenhyphenovpqdymBoRYOZI374uR_30CiZW5pmhGLCqT8Waz8AjaJy775KJXJpXqm0RIdYuDiZjPGsal3mQUINY/s1600-h/01berlin.xlarge1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDUC8tZO4IcadpAKIEAzfLjqOmF985HT6UEUHlWFezl9JNEMWSISV-q7619OEhyphenhyphenovpqdymBoRYOZI374uR_30CiZW5pmhGLCqT8Waz8AjaJy775KJXJpXqm0RIdYuDiZjPGsal3mQUINY/s400/01berlin.xlarge1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5178840332126348658" border="0" /></a> <p style="font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><b style=""> (The crowd at Gayhane, monthly party for Arab and Turkish gay men, lesbians and bisexuals at SO36, a <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">Berlin</st1:place></st1:state> nightclub) <span style="font-style: italic;">Berlin Journal </span><br /></b></p><p style="font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><br /><b style=""><o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; font-family: arial;" align="center"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" face="arial" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" face="arial" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" face="arial" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" face="arial" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" face="arial" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" face="arial" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" face="arial" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" face="arial" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" face="arial" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" face="arial" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" face="arial" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" face="arial" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><st1:city st="on"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">Berlin</span></b></st1:city><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">, <st1:country-region st="on">Germany</st1:country-region>: (<st1:state st="on">Berlin</st1:state> Journal):<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">GAY MUSLIMS PACK A DANCE FLOOR OF THEIR OWN:<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">“Six men whirled faster and faster in the center of the nightclub, arms slung over another’s shoulders, performing a traditional circle dance popular in <st1:country-region st="on">Turkey</st1:country-region> and the <st1:place st="on">Middle East</st1:place>. Most of the people filling the dance floor at the club SO36 in the Kreuzberg neighborhood were gay, lesbian or bisexual, and of Turkish or Arab background. They were there for the monthly club night knows as Gayhane, (hane means home in Turkish) an opportunity TO MERGE THEIR IMMIGRANT CULTURES AND THEIR SEXUAL IDENTITIES. Above event’s organizer was Fatma Souad a TRANSGENDER PERFORMER who was born as a male but dresses and appears like a female.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><br /><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">Gay men and lesbians from Muslims families in <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Germany</st1:place></st1:country-region> say that they face extraordinary discrimination at home. A survey of roughly 1000 young men and women in <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">Berlin</st1:place></st1:state>, widely cited in the German press, found much higher levels of homophobia among Turkish youth. “These differences are there”, said Bernd Simon, who led the study and is Professor of Social Psychology at Christian-Albrechts-University in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Kiel</st1:place></st1:city>. “We can’t deny them. The question is how do we cope with them”. He added “The answer is not to replace homophobia with Islamophobia, pointing out that homophobia is also higher among Russian immigrants and in other, less urban parts of <st1:place st="on"><st1:country-region st="on">Germany</st1:country-region></st1:place>. <o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">Kader Balcik, a 22 year Turk from Hamburg, said: “For us, for Muslims, it’s extremely difficult. When you are gay, you are immediately cut off from the family”. He was cut off from his mother because he is bisexual. “A mother who wishes death for her son, what kind of mother is that?”, he asked, his eyes momentarily filling with tears. <o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" face="arial" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">Hasan, a 21 year old Arab man, sitting at a table in the club’s quieter adjoining cafe stated: “They would kill me. My brothers would kill me.” Asked if he meant this figuratively, he responded,” No, I mean they would kill me”. He added “I’m living one life here and the other one the way they wish me to be,” Hasan said, referring to his parents. He said he still planned to marry, but when he turned 30 rather than right away, as his parents wished. “I have to have children, to do what Islam wants me to do,” he said. “I would stop with everything in the homosexual life. I would stop it”. (<st1:place st="on"><st1:state st="on">New York</st1:state></st1:place> Times 1/1/2008).<br /></span></b></p><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Arial;" ></span></b><b style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: 14.4pt;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Arial;" > </span></b><b style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Arial;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Arial;" ><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Arial;" >As usual feel free to e-mail your comments to <a href="mailto:info@mehrunyusuficds.com">info@mehrunyusuficds.com</a>. </span></b><b style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Arial;" > </span></b><b style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Arial;" > </span></b><b style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Arial;" > </span></b><b style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b style=""><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:Arial;" > </span></b><b style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2048355342278993304.post-69021269921188440912008-03-12T20:09:00.006-05:002010-01-26T11:15:11.593-06:00<div align="center"><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">ISLAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY ONLINE</span><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">(Revised Version)</span><br />Volume 8, August 2009<br />St. Louis, Missouri</strong><br /><br /><strong>Editor: Hajji. Mohamed Ziauddin<br /><br />IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE MOST BENEFICENT AND THE MOST MERCIFUL<br /></strong><br /></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="justify"><strong>EDITORIAL NOTE:</strong><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">GLOBAL UMMAH'S FIGHT AGAINST EXTREMISM:</span><br /></span></div><br /><strong>The Ummah has been passive for too long in terms of not being frank and upfront with the extremist elements. Such passivity and silence had sent a wrong message to the extremist Muslims and further reinforced their distorted belief that they had the backing and support from the global Ummah.<br /><br />On a positive note, we are now seeing that various Muslims and Islamic organizations are standing up to fight against such injustice perpetrated by extremist elements who advocate killing innocents falsely claiming that they are doing it in the name of Islam. In the process they are creating more hardship to the ordinary Muslim on the streets be it, Abdul or Fatima.<br /><br />In Egypt, a new brand of young Muslims from a new generation are speaking up against terrorism and are successfully able to interpret the Holy Quran to represent peace, love and harmony among mankind. Below are two additional global examples.<br /><br />Inshallah, the momentum for the global Muslims to assert that Holy Quran is a guide and masterpiece to guide humanity towards PEACE rather than BLOODSHED as portrayed by the extremists is already ON.<br /><br />It would be good if Islamic Centers consider posting on their notice board a ZERO TOLERANCE to violence in the context of the Ummah’s opposition to killing innocents, regardless of what the cause is and to provide internet, phone and provider resources that could be utilized on issues pertaining to conflict resolution and ways to assist a particular oppressed individual or group or nation.<br /><br />Anyone who strongly feels on a particular issue, should do so either by volunteer work to help towards the cause of such issue or exercise their strong commitment by using their checkbooks to sponsor an orphan or family on a year to year basis or to donate to other educational, social service related causes et.c. for that particular oppressed group or nation. Muslims worldwide are more than able to come up with hundreds of better suggestions than to respond by death and destruction in their intent to assist the distressed Muslims worldwide. ANYTHING IS WORTHY OF CONSIDERATION EXCEPT VIOLENCE TO SELF AND OTHERS THROUGH SUICIDE BOMBING.<br /><br />The extremists had also unnecessarily dragged the peace loving Tabligh Jamaat in their actions. Because many of the Tabligh Jamaat members tend to wear traditional Islamic clothing along with sporting an untrimmed beard, they became visible targets of many western governments.<br /><br />We know that in the United States, the government sent out secret agents in the form of Muslim converts who joined and infiltrated the tabligh jamaat and reported back to the government that the tabligh jamaat are NOT involved in any “cells” or “terrorist group”. Not surprisingly the US government had LIFTED THE BAN on tabligh jamaat’s activities.<br /><br />HERE AGAIN THE ABSENCE OF ACCURATE KNOWLEDGE LEADS TO MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND SUSPICIONS. For example, one of the principles of tabligh jamaat before they go out on DAWAA work is NOT TO TALK ABOUT POLITICS. This fact is not known to many non-Muslims. One of the tabligh jamaat's basic principles is to avoid violence at all possible costs and in reality , they are one of the most disciplined and peace loving groups in the world. In summary, even such a peace loving Islamic group had come under the government’s radar screen for scrutiny, because of the horrific acts of the extremist group.<br /><br />Misinterpreting the gems of Holy Quran not only apply to violence but also on women in some contexts. Below are two examples of Muslim organizations condemning terrorism in India and the United States and the last part of this issue has an example of how the gems of Islam were twisted to inadvertently create more hardship and difficulty for our Muslim sisters.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">In as much as we stood up against misinterpretation regarding terrorism, we need to stand up against similar misinterpretation regarding women because trying to voluntarily crush half of Ummah’s (female) productive potential is like voluntarily diminishing half of Ummah’s human resources covering various aspects.</span></span><br /><br />EXAMPLE: I<br /><br />INDIA: Feb 25, 2008, DEOBAND (Uttar Pradesh, India): (Yahoo News)<br /><br />OUTCOME OF CONFERENCE ON TERRORISM ORGANIZED BY DARUL ULOOM – Deoband.<br /><br />Darul Uloom was established in Deoband, in late 19th century and remains a renowned religious and academic Center of Islamic thought and practice. In the sub-continent, it remains the largest institution for the dissemination and propagation of Islamic teachings and the biggest headspring of education for Islamic sciences. Followers of Deoband School practice Orthodox Sunni Islam. Deoband produced some renowned Muslim Scholars who resisted British rule in India, which ended with independence and the partition of the subcontinent in 1947.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">“On the one hand terrorism should be condemned and on the other hand those who make accusations against the whole (Muslim) community should be countered because if the actual accused is not caught, then some innocent would get hanged. This will be our loss. ALL OF US BELONGING TO THE SAME (MUSLIM) COMMUNITY SHOULD COME TOGETHER TO FIGHT AGAINST TERRORISM AND MILITANCY,” </span>said Maulana Mahmood Madni, General Secretary, Jamiat Ulmea-i-Hind, who was participating in a debate on terrorism and other Islam-centric issues organized by the Darul-Uloom in Deoband.<br /><br />PARTICIPANTS:<br /><br />Ulema (Muslim Scholars) from six thousand Madrasas (religious schools) were participating in the debate called by the LEGENDARY SCHOOL OF ISLAMIC LEARNING IN ASIA. Apart from representatives of Madarasas, the other participants are Ahl-e-Hadith, Jama’at-e-Islami and Shi’ah schools of thought and the heads, delegates of their Madrasas and the Rectors (Sajjada Nashins) of the Dargahs of Ajmer Sharif and Kichhauchha Sharif. Further the heads and representatives of All India Muslim Personal Law Board, Jamiat Ulama-e-Hind, Muslim Majlis-e-Mushawarat, Milli Council and the Darul Uloom Deoband’s Old Boys Association had also participated in above Conference.<br /><br />Above organizers stated that they wanted that the DARUL ULOOM to take the initiative in stating that ISLAM DOES NOT SANCTION TERRORISM AND THAT DEOBANDIS DO NOT BELIEVE IN IT EITHER”.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >‘WE WANT TO SPREAD THE MESSAGE TO ENTIRE WORLD THAT MUSLIMS AND ISLAM HAVE NO LINKS WITH TERRORISM. AND WE WANT TO GIVE THIS MESSAGE TO THE CENTRE THAT IF ANY MUSLIM IS ARRESTED IN ANY TERROR ACTIVITY THEN HE SHOULD BE TREATED JUST AS A CRIMINAL AND SHOULD NOT BE LINKED WITH ISLAM TO DEFAME MUSLIMS,”</span> said Maulana Aadil Siddiquie, spokesperson, Darul Uloom, Deoband. The organizers of above conference REITERATED ITS DETERMINATION TO PROMOTE PEACE, NATIONAL SOLIDARITY AND BROTHERHOOD IN THE COUNTRY.<br /><br />EXAMPLE: 2<br /><br />UNITED STATES:<br /><br />If you want to know details regarding the Muslim voices against extremism and terrorism, go to THE AMERICAN MUSLIM website at </strong><a href="http://www.theamericanmuslim.org/" target="_blank"><strong>www.theamericanmuslim.org</strong></a><strong> and you will find a series of article collections in the topic of MUSLIM VOICES AGAINST EXTREMISM AND TERRORISM, Muslims Denounce Terrorism, Quran and Hadith against extremism, Fatwas, Statements by Organizations, Statements and Articles by Individuals, A few quotes, THE MUSLIM MAJORITY WHO DON’T GET PUBLICITY, Muslims and Arabs in the U.S. Military, Selective Hearing of Muslim Voices Against Extremism, Sunni-Shia Unity Resources as well as many more collections on specific subjects including Resources for Responding to Claims against Islam and Muslims, and documentation of ISLAMOPHOBIA – Polls, Statistics, and surveys, alarming statements by year, incidents at mosques, incidents and hate crimes, media and propaganda et.c. If you want to keep up with Islam in America and topics of interest to Muslims in America and the West, above is the site to visit.<br /><br />Below is an excellent note by the Founding Editor of THE AMERICAN MUSLIM (TAM).<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">“One of the most common statements made by non-Muslims is “Where are the Muslim Voices?”. We want our fellow Americans to know that the Muslim Voices are there, but they are being drowned out in the dim from those who see a clash of civilizations as inevitable. American Muslims know that extremists and terrorists don’t represent Islam, but our fellow non-Muslim Americans do not. The millions of Muslims in the US are indeed trying to communicate their disgust and opposition to extremism and to clearly differentiate between Islam and the actions of some Muslims. Our scholars have spoken out loudly and clearly, as have our national Muslim organizations, community leaders, and ordinary Muslims and still we are asked,” Where are the Muslim Voices”? We need to get our message out in every way possible until we are heard”.—Sheila Musaji, Founding Editor, Sheikh Mohamed Nur Abdullah, Religious Advisor. THE AMERICAN MUSLIM- Journal of Islamic Thought.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:180%;" >WOMEN:</span><br /><br />MISUSE OF THE GEMS OF ISLAM:<br /><br />Ban on women driving cars - “based on ISLAM or based on one’s TWISTING THE FACTS FROM ISLAM AS WE PERCEIVE IT”? You be the judge and decide for yourself as to what is truly the TRUTH.<br /><br />This is what Majlis-Ul-Ulema from South Africa had to say about DRIVING AND WOMEN in their book “THE PIOUS WIFE” Page: 26-27.<br />(Reprinted word for word).<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">“Undoubtedly, for Muslim women to drive cars is contrary to the spirit and teaching of the Quran and Sunnah. The Quran Shareef commands Muslims females: “And remain within your homes and make not a display (of yourselves) like the display of the (time) of jaahiliyyah”.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Quran and Ahadith place restrictions upon the emergence of females from the home. Islam exhorts and commands its female adherents to conceal themselves; hence Rasulullah said,” Woman is aurah” (i.e. to be concealed). When she emerges (into the public), shaitaan casts surreptitious glances (evil glances) at her.” Islam emphasizes Purdah – concealment – for women but western culture in a variety of ways and means (of which women driving cars is one) emphasis “self-expression” i.e. exhibitions of jaahiliyyah. Islam lays stress upon modesty and shame. (Hayya) whereas driving destroys the hayaa of women.<br /><br />By means of driving, woman places herself in the forefront of exhibition. She barters away her hayaa by aping the ways and mannerisms of males in the driving seat. Her place is not in the driving seat to wander around, putting herself up for public gaze and display. Her place is the home – to live in dignity, respect, hayaa and honor. The greater her self-exhibition, the greater the destruction she brings to her natural modesty. And about this hayaa, Rasulullah said: “Hayaa is a branch of Imaan”. It is virtually impossible for a woman who drives, to observe the Islamic laws of Hijaab. Even if she is a bit conscious of Islamic Purdah restrictions, her constant projection and exhibition which driving entails corrodes her hayaa and reduces her to utter shamelessness. She then qualifies for the Quranic description of “tabarruje jaahilyyah” (exhibitions of the times of ignorance).<br /><br />The argument advances in favor of women driving are all fictitious and designed to appease the lowly nafs of man. Those women who are observant of the Divine restrictions and prohibitions – those women who remain within the confines of Islamic Hijab will, Insha’Allah not be confronted with the fictitious ‘emergencies” and exigencies imagined and sometimes confronted by the women of exhibition. Those who have Trust (Tawakkul) in Allah Ta’ala will be well cared for”.</span><br /><br />(ED NOTE: Dear Brothers From Majlis-Ul-Ulema, Thanks for spending your valuable time to write on above issue as part of your book “THE PIOUS WIFE”. With all due respects to you and appreciation for your eloquent language, I have some questions with regard to the manner in which the gems of Islam were wrongly interpreted and blended in your above note. I believe that I am not a loner walking in the wild on this issue and I suspect there are millions of Muslims worldwide who probably would be more inclined to raise similar questions as I raised on above note.<br /><br />We all must try our best to avoid criticizing each other. Therefore while I appreciate your good intentions to contribute a guide for Muslim women, I am afraid that your advice may harm our sisters more than benefit them. Anything that would hurt our brothers or sisters would be a pain for us and therefore, we need to make a good faith attempt to address and if possible correct it to the best of our ability. Let above note from the brothers of Majlis-Ul-Ulema and the below note from the writer through this platform of newsletter be placed in THE MARKETPLACE OF IDEAS and let the UMMAH be the judge.<br /><br />I say above because, many Muslims in the 21st Century have a very low tolerance for difference of opinion. The moment they differ, they immediately give the other a LABEL. For example, “He is a munafiqeen” (hypocrite). What is important today is the right of every single Muslim to assertively express his or her ideas. The Ummah should be tolerant enough at least to hear what one has to say. We can always analyze or discuss our response once we know the opinion of the individual. We should avoid making quick judgments based on stereotypes. For example, <span style="font-style: italic;">“Oh, after all, she is just a woman, from what she said, you know where she is coming from”.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">EDITOR'S NOTE:</span></span></strong></div><p align="justify"><strong>It is in such context mentioned above, that the important aspect of ISLAMIC PSYCHOLOGY steps in. Brothers of Majlis-Ul-Ulema, I believe your world view is totally disconnected from the present realities and your thinking is still anchored to history. In your world view, there are no “emergencies” and if any, they are “fictitious”. In your world view, all one has to do is trust in Allah and everything will be taken care of.<br /></strong></p><p align="justify"><strong><br /></strong></p><p align="justify"><strong>In your world view, a husband can never die before his wife, therefore the question of whether the wife would live independently and may need independent transportation would never arise. Your world view is free of emergencies, domestic violence and in a nutshell, no existence of single parent families, and that all household families are headed by a husband who takes care of hundred percent of the family’s finances and transportation needs. Although husband has gone to job in the morning and returns in evening, somehow transportation is arranged to pick and drop the children from school, husband does hundred percent of shopping using his vehicle and there is no need for wife to help with shopping if husband is busy and is unable to shop.<br /></strong></p><p align="justify"><strong><br /></strong></p><p align="justify"><strong>There are no broken families; there is not a single opportunity that may arise where the wife may need a car to commute. Husband will be in the best of health all the time and never be admitted at a hospital therefore there is no need for her to drive and visit the husband, OR there is guaranteed public transportation available between the wife’s home and the hospital.<br /><br />This is ONE of many examples where good practicing, sincere, honest Muslims inadvertently distort Islam and not only create additional stressors in the life of the Muslim woman by depriving her of a basic transportational need that ALLAH has gifted to humanity, but also decreasing the potential productivity by fifty percent of the UMMAH thereby by default retard the optimal output from the global UMMAH. In simple words, we believe that their distorted world view has done MORE HARM than good for the UMMAH.<br /><br />For example, in the real world, once a Muslim husband dies or divorces from his wife, how much more hardship will the wife have to undergone to become economically independent. Being in home and raising children all her life, she probably may have very limited income, how is she going to improve her educational standard, get a job with no prior job experience and how is she going to support herself and her children ?<br /><br />WE BELIEVE THAT NO MUSLIM SHOULD PREACH ISLAM IN A WAY THAT DEPRIVES ONE OF THEIR BASIC RIGHTS AND IN THE LONG RUN LEADS TO INCREASED MULTIPLE STRESSORS. Instead we need to spread the golden message of Islam in a way that maximizes our ability not only to practice ISLAM in our personal lives but also to be a productive and contributing member, not only to our immediate family, but to the local community and society at large.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Even at the present time, although a Saudi woman is allowed to drive a plane, she is not allowed to drive a car.</span></span> (There is currently at least one Saudi female pilot). Needless to say, below is an example of a step that was taken backward by abusing the gems of ISLAM i.e for women not to drive a car and thereby creating hardship for half of the Saudi Ummah. GOOD NEWS IS THAT SAUDI ARABIA HAS FINALLY DECIDED ON A PLAN TO LIFT ABOVE BAN AND IS WORKING TO IMPLEMENT ABOVE PROMISE VERY SOON. But who is going to compensate the thousands of Saudi women for all the hardships they had to face all along? NONE. WHO IS TO BLAME FOR THEIR HARDSHIPS?<br /><br />On the other side, we are not advocating forgetting our Islamic roots and being obsessed with the contemporary times which symbolically is a combination of good and bad. THAT’S WHY ISLAM HAS STRONGLY ADVOCATED FOR US TO SEEK KNOWLEDGE, WHICH BY DEFAULT IS A POWERFUL TOOL TO ENABLE US TO DIFFERENTIATE FROM THE RIGHT AND WRONG AND PICK ONLY THE RIGHT.<br /><br />INSTEAD WHAT WE ARE REALLY ADVOCATING is building a foundation on Islam but integrating it with the positives of the contemporary times. Needless to say blindly focusing on the contemporary times will equally destroy us, we need to gain KNOWLEDGE about the contemporary times and inshallah, with Allah’s guidance and blessings pick the appropriate positive contemporary KNOWLEDGE and combine it with the gems of ISLAM.<br /><br />DISCLAIMER: We strongly believe that ISLAM is a religion of tolerance and it applies to tolerance to accept divergent and extreme points of view. Whether you want to send a supportive e-mail or angrily worded hate mail, we not only welcome and respect your opinion but would defend at any costs for your RIGHT to express it. TO US, THIS REPRESENTS ISLAMIC VALUE OF “TOLERANCE” IN ACTION AND NOT JUST IN WORDS OR FROM OUR SPEECHES.<br /></strong><br />As usual, feel free to e-mail us at <a href="mailto:info@mehrunyusuficds.com">info@mehrunyusuficds.com</a>.<br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2048355342278993304.post-57460076683120423112008-03-03T15:57:00.006-06:002010-01-26T11:13:42.059-06:00<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">ISLAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY ONLINE</span></strong></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: center;" align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-size:85%;">(Revised Edition)</span></span></strong></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Volume 7, July 2009<br /></span></strong></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: center;" align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-size:130%;">St. Louis, Missouri</span><o:p></o:p></span></strong></p> <h1 style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;font-size:85%;" >Editor: Hajji Mohamed Ziauddin</span><o:p></o:p></strong></h1> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: center;" align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE MOST BENEFICENT AND THE MOST MERCIFUL <o:p></o:p></span></strong></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: center;" align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Focus of the Week: ANALYSIS OF THE SUICIDE BOMBER – Part III</span></strong></p><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><strong>In Part I of this E-Zine's focus, we highlighted verses from the Holy Quran to support our perspective that SUICIDE BOMBING is wrong. In Part II of this E-Zine ,we highlighted teachings of Prophet Mohamed (SAW) that supported above perspective. In this issue of Part III, we are highlighting the same from a Social perspective, which includes ideas from Islamic thinkers.<br /></strong></p><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><br /><strong><span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><strong>Islam is a beautiful religion advocating universal brotherhood, peace and love among mankind. In the past two issues, the virtues of peace, patience and perseverance were highlighted. Muslims in some parts of the globe perceived themselves victimized as a national group who were going through severe injustice and oppression. They became increasingly desperate, felt helpless & knew fully well that they were no match to fight face to face against their enemies who were loaded with very effective hi-tech weapons.<br /></strong></p><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><br /><strong><o:p></o:p></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><strong>Ummah – especially the Religious Leaders and Intellectuals were unable to offer such a desperate, vulnerable and helpless group of Muslims, ALTERNATIVE PEACEFUL WAYS TO DEAL WITH SUCH INJUSTICE.<br /></strong></p><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><br /><strong><o:p></o:p></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><strong>There was absolutely no co-ordination between the Imams, Psychotherapists and other professionals from Behavioral Medicine, Communication experts and the Govt to work on a concrete plan to come up with ALTERNATIVE PEACEFUL MEANS OF RESPONDING TO INJUSTICE.<br /></strong></p><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><br /><strong><o:p></o:p></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><strong>A vacuum in above made it easier for a minority of misguided religious leaders to win the following of a very small but dangerous group of Muslims and mislead such a vulnerable and desperate group to resort to the worst possible violence currently seen on the face of the earth by essentially blowing themselves and others around them into pieces of flesh and bones. They not only focused on the enemies but on their own members of Ummah as well, with total disregard to the loss of innocent lives including women and children. It is an issue not only of loss of lives, but also being responsible for making many innocents who survived such violence by becoming permanently disabled with loss of vision, limbs et.c.</strong></p><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><br /><strong><span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><strong>Such Muslims unfortunately were misguided and deviated away from the mainstream religion of peace – Islam by resorting to violence, bloodshed and mayhem.</strong></p><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><br /><strong><o:p></o:p></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><strong>From a clinical perspective, most behaviors emerge from mind of the individual. If the mind is corrupted or misguided then its implementation in behavior would be misguided too and in the case of the suicide bomber, it would be destructive.</strong></p><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><strong><br /></strong></p><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><strong>The above Editor argues that this is not only a issue of Muslims who were religiously misguided but it is also a CLINICAL issue that needs to be addressed by both Muslim Professionals from Behavioral Medicine and Islamic leaders, especially when it comes to developing alternative peaceful strategies that could be positively utilized by individuals and groups.<br /></strong></p><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><br /><strong><o:p></o:p></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><strong>In general, when an individual talks about suicide or homicide, he gets evaluated by a mental health professional and if needed involuntarily hospitalized against his or her own will. ISN’T IT STRANGE, THAT WHEN A MISGUIDED MUSLIM TALKS ABOUT POSSIBLE PLANS OF SUICIDE AND (MULTIPLE HOMICIDES) BY INTENT TO BE A SUICIDE BOMBER, THE CLINICAL ASPECT IS COMPLETELY IGNORED AND ONLY THE LEGAL, RELIGIOUS and POLITICAL<span style=""> </span>ASPECTS BECOME THE FOCUS?<span style=""> </span>WHY?</strong></p><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><br /><strong><o:p></o:p></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><strong>In the process of such a response, two mistakes are being committed. (1) There is an assumption that he is mentally sane. (2) There is an assumption that he is following the teachings of Islam.<br /></strong></p><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><br /><strong><o:p></o:p></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><strong>We never hear the fact that he is a wrongly misguided Muslim who misinterpreted the teachings of Islam. Why? Could it be because of lack of proper understanding of Islam?<br /></strong></p><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><br /><strong><o:p></o:p></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Br. Jamaal al-Din Zarabozo in his book PURIFICATION OF THE SOUL had one of his topics titled as: “Jihad in All of Its Other Forms” he quoted the Quranic verse: <span style="font-style: italic;">“And those who strive for Our (Cause), We will certainly guide them to Our Paths, for verily Allah is with those who do right” (al-Ankaboot 69).</span></span></strong></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Commenting on this verse, Ibn Al-Qayyim wrote: “Allah has connected guidance with jihad….The forms of jihad which are most obligatory upon a person are the jihad against the soul, jihad against desires, jihad against Satan and jihad against (being overcome by this) worldly life. …ONE CANNOT FIGHT THE EXTERNAL ENEMY UNLESS ONE FIGHTS THESE INTERNAL ENEMIES. WHOEVER IS GIVEN VICTORY OVER THEM WILL BE GIVEN VICTORY OVER HIS (EXTERNAL) ENEMY”.<br /></span></strong></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><o:p></o:p></span></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Hence, this makes it clear that jihad in all of its various forms is actually part and parcel of the process of purification of the soul as it is one of the means of success and prosperity which can only be achieved through the purification of the soul. (Karzoon, Vol 1, p.285).<br /></span></strong></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><o:p></o:p></span></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">As indicated above, a true jihad primarily focuses its energy within one’s self and not projected violently outwards and not for worldly life issues. One could argue “for and against” that occupation of land is a materialistic worldly issue and by default whether such worldly issue is worth not only dying for in terms of voluntarily blowing oneself to pieces but also committing double sins in Islam - suicide and multiple homicides? This by no means is indicative that one should be passive when attacked or occupied. Instead the focus is on exploring alternative means of resistance or opposition to such oppression and injustice.</span></strong></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Ibraaheem bin Abdullaah al-Haazimee in his Compiler’s Foreword in the book: “Diseases of the Hearts and their Cures” stated:</span></strong></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><o:p></o:p></span></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style=""> </span>“The heart forms the foundation, it is the owner of the limbs, and the limbs are its soldiers, so when the owner becomes purified its soldiers become purified, and when the owner becomes sullied then its soldiers become sullied”.<br /></span></strong></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><o:p></o:p></span></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Al-Haafidh ibn Hajr al-Asqalaanee, May Allah have mercy upon him and provide us with his knowledge, said:<br /></span></strong></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><o:p></o:p></span></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">“The heart has been singled out for this because it is the leader of the body, and through the purification of the leader the subjects become purified, and with its corruption they become corrupted. So if you, O servant of Allah, wish to cure your heart then it is upon you to be truthful with regards to seeking refuge with Allah and putting your trust in Him, to pray a great deal of supererogatory prayers, to perform the actions of obedience to Allah frequently, to pray the night prayers while the people are sleeping, and to treat your heart by making it continuously stick to the remembrances and by befriending only the righteous…and to frequently recite the Quran. And Allah will indeed allow all of this to be preserved by him”.<br /></span></strong></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><o:p></o:p></span></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Compared above gems with our misguided Muslims who put explosives right in front and around the “HEART” to blow it up.</span></strong></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"> <o:p></o:p></span></strong></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Such a barbaric act of suicide bombing by being blown to pieces is one of the worst ways for a person to abruptly die and here we have in the 21<sup>st</sup> century a group of misguided Muslims VOLUNTARILY SIGNING UP TO BE BLOWN TO PIECES in such a manner.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><br /></span></b></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">Dealing with a potential suicide bomber is not to RESPOND VIOLENCE WITH VIOLENCE because two wrongs don’t make it right. To truly understand a suicide bomber’s motives, we need to understand his psyche and the perspective he is coming from.<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><br /></span></b></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">From a psychological perspective, the “fight OR flight” response does not apply to the suicide bomber since he does both. Through his self-destructive act, he FIGHTS the enemy head-on and kills those around him and in the process he also takes a permanent one way<span style=""> </span>“FLIGHT” away from this world to the next.<span style=""> </span>Can anyone guess what would be the stress level of a suicide bomber?<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><br /></span></b></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">POINTS TO REFLECT:</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><br /><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText2"><span style="font-weight: bold;">How many times have you heard Islamic peaceful alternatives offered in terms of expressing anger or holding it in? Is a Muslim responsible for his own emotions and acts or are other people, be it oppressors or any body else, responsible for his emotions? How can a Muslim more effectively deal with anger, resentment and frustration, no matter what the reason may be (including occupation)? Do Muslims feel stressed out by problems that others place on them or by problems that they place on themselves? How best can we integrate the contemporary psychological knowledge dealing with CONFLICT RESOLUTION with the gems of Holy Quran and Hadith to deal with current group or organizational stressors faced by the global Ummah?</span> </p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="font-family:Tahoma;">As usual, feel free to send your comments to <a href="mailto:info@mehrunyusuficds.com">info@mehrunyusuficds.com</a> <o:p></o:p></span></b></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2048355342278993304.post-70432691515384450462008-02-26T20:11:00.004-06:002010-01-26T02:39:07.395-06:00<div align="center"><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">ISLAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY ONLINE<br /></span><span style="font-size:85%;">(Revised version)<br /><span style="font-size:130%;">Volume 6, June 2009<br /></span></span><span style="font-size:130%;">St. Louis, Missouri</span><br /><br />Hajji. Mohamed Ziauddin<br /><br />In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful<br /><br />FOCUS OF THE WEEK:<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">PART – TWO</span></strong></div><div align="center"><br /><strong>Suicide Bombers<br /></strong><br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">NEED TO INTEGRATE BEHAVIORAL KNOWLEDGE WITH THE GEMS OF ISLAM TO SOLVE SOME OF OUR UMMAH’S CONTEMPORARY PROBLEMS.<br /><br /></span></strong> </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"><strong>THE UMMAH COULD BE DOING A FAR BETTER JOB TO EXPLORE THE DEPTHS OF THE OCEAN OF BEHAVIORAL SCIENCE AND COME UP WITH PEACEFUL & INNOVATIVE PSYCHOLOGICAL TOOLS TO DEAL WITH CONFLICT HOWEVER SEVERE IT MAY BE AND IN WHATEVER FORMS IT MAY BE ( FORCED BRUTAL OCCUPATION OF A NATION, OPPRESSION, INJUSTICE ET.C) EITHER AT A GROUP & NATIONAL LEVEL OR RELATIONSHIP CONFLICT AT AN INDIVIDUAL LEVEL (Eg. SPOUSAL, SIBLING AND PARENT-CHILD CONFLICT).<br /><br />Since the EDUCATED MUSLIM PSYCHOLOGISTS, PSYCHOTHERAPISTS AND ISLAMIC SCHOLARS HAVE NOT TEAMED UP TOGETHER TO PRESENT TO THE UMMAH A JOINT PACKAGE OF PEACEFUL TOOLS TO DEAL WITH CONFLICT, IS ONE THEN REALLY SURPRISED WHY THE MOST FRUSTRATED AND DESPERATE EXTREMIST ELEMENTS UTILIZE THE MOST DESTRUCTIVE AND UNFAIR APPROACH TO RESPOND TO SUCH ONGOING CONFLICT BY RESORTING TO SUICIDE BOMBING ON A NATIONAL OR ORGANIZATIONAL LEVEL AND IN CERTAIN CASES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AT A FAMILY LEVEL?<br /><br />SUCH VIOLENCE UNDERCUTS AND STABS AT THE VERY HEART OF THE CORE VALUES OF THE MOST PEACEFUL RELIGION ON EARTH – ISLAM. WE ALREADY HIGHLIGHTED THE GEMS FROM HOLY QURAN IN PREVIOUS ISSUE THAT EMPHASIZED ON PEACE, PATIENCE AND PERSEVERANCE ETC.<br /><br />Prophet Mohamed (SAW) stated: </strong></div><div align="justify"><strong><br />“WHOEVER SETS OUT ON A PATH FOR ACQUIRING KNOWLEDGE, FOR SUCH ALLAH PAVES THE WAY TO PARADISE”. AL-TIRMIDHI.<br /><br />Such knowledge includes behavioral knowledge. “Islam encourages the use of science and the scientific method. Acquisition of knowledge is obligatory on every Muslim, male and female. In Islam, science and technology should be used for moral ends and serve all legitimate needs of mankind. Moreover, the use of science and the scientific methods is viewed as yet another means to understand and see the power and glory of ALLAH”. (Introduction to Islam - ISNA-US & CANADA)<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">As Counselor and Writer Abdul Lateef Abdullah stated: “<span style="font-style: italic;">People can manipulate religious teachings to say (or mean) virtually anything. The practice is often done to further personal or group agendas. It is embedded deep within the very history of religions themselves including Islam. IN CURRENT TIMES, ITS MOST NOTORIOUS CULPRITS ARE EXTREMISTS WHO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE NEEDY, OPPRESSED, AND IGNORANT TO JUSTIFY TERRORIST ACTS ON THEIR BEHALF”.</span></span><br /><br />Dr. Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimi offers more than 60 practical tips for the “IDEAL MUSLIM AND HIS COMMUNITY”, which includes many (listed below) that are violated by the suicide bomber who exhibits OPPOSITE of below characteristics.<br /><br />(1) He has a good attitude towards others and treats them well<br />(2) He is gentle towards people<br />(3) He is compassionate and merciful<br />(4) HE IS TOLERANT AND FORGIVING<br />(5) He is patient<br />(6) He strives for people’s benefits and SEEKS TO PROTECT THEM FROM HARM.<br />(7) He enjoins what is good and forbids what is evil.<br />(8) HE TRIES TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY<br />(9) He guides others to righteous deeds.<br />(10) HE IS EASY ON PEOPLE, not hard<br />(11) He does not oppress or mistreat others.<br />(12) HE DOES NOT REJOICE IN THE MISFORTUNE OF OTHERS<br />(13) He is generous<br />(14) He is hospitable<br />(15) HE PREFERS OTHERS TO HIMSELF<br />(16) He helps to alleviate the burden of the debtor<br />(17) He spreads the greeting of Salaam (peace)<br /><br />Therefore the suicide bombers who are essentially “gross violators” of the characteristics of an IDEAL MUSLIM cannot claim to have made a SUPREME SACRIFICE under the name of ISLAM and even if they do, it is misleading. Such destructive actions just don’t add up to say it is EQUAL to positive Islamic behavior.<br /><br />SAYINGS OF PROPHET MOHAMED (SAW)<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> (A) “Do good deeds with propriety and moderation and DO NOT WISH FOR DEATH; For one is either good and may increase in goodness, or one may NOT be good but could (change and) ask for forgiveness” Al-Bukhari.</span><br /><br />(Suicide bombing is NOT a good deed and generally NO SUICIDE BOMBING would ever be successful without the individual NOT WISHING FOR DEATH. From above saying, the suicide bomber violates Prophet’s recommendations on two counts).<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> (B) “Happy is the man who avoids dissension, BUT HOW FINE IS THE MAN WHO IS AFFLICTED AND SHOWS ENDURANCE". Sunan of Abu Dawood Hadith 1996</span>.<br /><br />(A suicide bomber DOES NOT SHOW ENDURANCE. If he does, he would not proceed with his destructive actions).<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">(C) “Oh, Allah, Let me be GRATEFUL, LET ME BE PATIENT, AND LET ME BE SMALL IN MY OWN EYES AND BIG IN THE EYES OF OTHERS”.</span><br /><br />(The suicide bomber is NOT PATIENT and has a distorted perception of viewing HIMSELF BIG IN HIS OWN EYES in terms of his extreme sacrifice that he is offering on behalf of the UMMAH, when in reality, it not only creates additional problems for the surviving members of the suicide bomber but also for the families of the innocent victims that lost their lives due to his act of self-destruction)<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">(D) "Oh Allah, ENRICH ME WITH KNOWLEDGE, ADORN ME WITH PATIENCE, honor me with piety, and beautify me with health (and a sense of pardoning)." Ibn an-Najjar.</span><br /><br />(A suicide bombers act is against above wish for patience and destroys the issue of his HEALTH in a second).<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">(E) “ HASTE IS AN ACT OF SHAITAN”- Prophet Mohamed (SAW)</span><br /><br />(Many of the suicide bombers who fear that they may be caught or identified do their senseless destructive act in HASTE. Who could disagree that it INDEED IS AN ACT OF SHAITAN?)<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">(F) “Oh, Allah, Let there be harmony among us; let there be affection between our hearts; SHOW US THE PATHS OF PEACE: guide us from darkness into light and help us avoid shameful deeds, whether open or secret”. Al-Hakim<br /><br /></span>(A suicide bombers act only brings more disharmony between the opposing groups in a conflict, destroys any chances of creating affection between the opposing groups, and IS NOT a path of peace but instead ends up committing a shameful deed)<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">(G) “He who sees an abomination must change it with his hands, and if he cannot then he has to oppose it with his tongue, and if he cannot do even that then he has to reject it in his heart”- Prophet Mohamed (SAW)</span><br /><br />(Above is a very important saying because nowhere it says that he who sees an abomination should respond by violence and bloodshed).<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">(H) “He is NOT the best among you who neglects his worldly life for the sake of the Hereafter, or neglects the Hereafter for the sake of his worldly life, until he works for both. Realize that this life is a path that leads to the Hereafter, so do not become a burden on others”. IBN ASSAKIR.</span><br /><br />(This is one of the writer’s most favored sayings of the Prophet. As you can see the focus is to work for both worlds. A suicide bomber through his irrational, dysfunctional and faulty thinking (details of which is for the next issue PART III of this newsletter) has voluntarily made a destructive decision to neglect his worldly life including his relationship responsibilities to his immediate family. A suicide bomber does not complete his destined path set by Allah in THIS WORLD and abruptly not only short circuits his life through violating Islamic values forbidding suicide but also the lives of innocent men, women and children around him through multiple homicides).<br /><br />(I) Last but not the least, in his last sermon, Prophet Mohamed (SAW) stated:<br /><br />“O People, Just as you regard this month, this day, this city as sacred, SO REGARD THE LIFE AND PROPERTY OF EVERY MUSLIM AS A SACRED TRUST”….”HURT NO ONE SO THAT NO ONE MAY HURT YOU”. ….”Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood. …I leave behind two things, the Quran and the Sunnah (Hadith) and if you follow these you will never go astray…. All those who listen to me shall pass on my words to others and those to others again; and may the last ones understand my words better than those who listened to me directly”.<br /><br /><br />Islam emphasizes on social justice. It opposes all those who exploit, oppress and deal unjustly with people and this is applicable at all levels individual, terrorist organization and State.<br /><br />CURRENTLY THERE IS A SEVERE ABSENCE OF ALTERNATIVE AND PEACEFUL TOOLS THAT THE UMMAH COULD UTILIZE IN RESPONDING TO INJUSTICE AND OPPRESSION.<br /><br />THE IMAMS AND ISLAMIC SCHOLARS ARE SPECIALIZED IN ISLAM. WHO ELSE COULD BE MORE SUITABLE TO CONTRIBUTE EFFECTIVE “PEACEFUL TOOLS” THAN THE MUSLIMS FROM THE HEALING ARTS PROFESSION, WHO IN THEIR PRACTICE TEACH THE CLIENTS “<span style="font-style: italic;">SUCH PEACEFUL TOOLS”</span> TO DEAL WITH RESENTMENTS, HOSTILITY, ANGER, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS ET.C. WHY HAS ABOVE ELEMENT BEEN MISSING ALL ALONG? COULD IT BE BECAUSE THE UMMAH HAS SEPARATED THE TWO AND KEPT THEM APART?<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">IF THERE IS ONE POINT THE ABOVE EDITOR IS TRYING TO EMPHASIZE IN THIS ISSUE, IT IS THAT “ISLAM” AND “BEHAVIORAL MEDICINE” SHOULD NOT BE KEPT APART IN TERMS OF DEALING WITH CONFLICT RESOLUTION ISSUES. BUT INSTEAD BOTH OF ABOVE SHOULD BE INTEGRATED INTO ONE SINGLE ENTITY. THEN YOU WILL SEE THE POSITIVE IMPACT OF SUCH INTEGRATION AMONG THE UMMAH TO BE “ASTOUNDING”. </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><br /></span></strong><div style="text-align: center;"><strong style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:180%;">HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE:</span></strong><br /><strong></strong></div><strong><br />IN THE 1920’S MORE THAN HALF OF THE WORLD’S UMMAH WERE UNDER THE RULE OF THE BRITISH AND OTHER IMPERIALISTS. Later with the collapse of the Ottoman Empire there was a significant vacuum of leadership for the GLOBAL UMMAH for several decades. Many Muslim nations experiencing the fresh air of newly found independence were too busy trying to establish and consolidate their national, political, social and cultural identity.<br /><br />Historically being tired from the ruthless oppression by the British, French, and other imperialist powers, THE UMMAH PREFERRED TO BE RULED BY ANY MUSLIM THAN A NON-MUSLIM. It is therefore not a surprise, as to why so many Muslim countries are led by dictators in one form or the other – either they are puppets of the West or they represent the extremist forces. Very few Muslim countries exist today that are truly democratic, for if true democracy be enforced by the majority, the UMMAH’s populous support would be on the side of MODERATION as our Prophet Mohammed (SAW) emphasized.<br /><br />With lack of emphasis from the MUSLIM governing entities on seeking KNOWLEDGE from their contemporary times and integrating it to the gems of ISLAM, the way they dealt with difference of opinion was varied although most of them generally were non-democratic in their governing style. Little surprise the UMMAH had no shortage of ruthless dictators who used deadly force to crush the opposition especially in Iraq and Syria.<br /><br />While acknowledging varied differences, in general, the tolerance to political dissent in Muslim countries was very thin and SUCH INTOLERANCE from the highest governing authorities CONTINUED TO TRICKLE DOWN through the different layers of society and groups and to this day, we find remnants of such SEVERE INTOLERANCE down to the people who create terror towards the innocent men, women and children.<br /><br />The non-democratic and autocratic governments had laws in place to justify their actions as per their whims and Royal or Presidential decrees. The terrorists initially grew out of a group that was the most economically down and politically disenfranchised, besides being desperate, helpless and worst of all MISGUIDED in terms of inappropriate and false interpretation of the Holy Quran. Gradually their following increased from GROUND UP and went from lower economic group to higher economic group such as the doctors from the terrorist’s acts in England.<br /><br />Such misguidance from certain leaders made the extremist elements have a FIELD DAY not only to <span style="font-style: italic;">“pick and choose”</span> but also to “<span style="font-style: italic;">twist and modify” </span>the Holy Quranic verses and hadith to suit their purposes to force their unrealistic view of the world and impose it on others. Blowing themselves up in pieces and in the process hurting others was a graphic expression of their terrible built up anger and seething resentments against whom they perceived as hard-core enemies.<br /><br />WHERE ARE THE MUSLIMS FROM THE HEALING ARTS PROFESSION? WHAT ROLE THEY COULD HAVE PLAYED IN CALMING DOWN THE RAGING POLITICAL AND SOCIAL FIRES THAT ENDS IN THE ANTI-ISLAMIC PRACTICE OF SUICIDE BOMBING?<br /><br />WHERE ARE THE IMAMS AND ISLAMIC SCHOLARS WHO COULD HAVE FROM THE VERY FIRST PHASE, CONDEMNED SUCH GRAPHIC ACTS AND CALLED UPON EMULATING OTHER PEACEFUL WAYS TO EXPRESS ONE’S OPPOSITION FOR WHATEVER CAUSE IT MAY BE?<br /><br />WHERE ARE THE “LIBERAL” MUSLIM GOVERNMENTS WHO COULD HAVE EASILY CREATED TASK FORCE COMPOSED OF ISLAMIC SCHOLARS, IMAMS AND MUSLIM PROFESSIONALS FROM THE HEALING ARTS PROFESSION TO COME UP WITH A CLEAR PLAN AND RECOMMENDATIONS TO IMPLEMENT IN TERMS OF RESPONDING TO PEACEFUL MODES OF OPPOSITION FOR WHATEVER LEGITIMATE CAUSE IT MAY BE?<br /><br />IN THE ABSENCE OF AN ACTIVE ROLE OF ABOVE THREE IN THIS AREA OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION, WE THE GLOBAL UMMAH ARE PAYING A HUGE PRICE TODAY.<br /><br />With no significant leadership from Muslims who could INTEGRATE KNOWLEDGE FROM THE CONTEMPORARY TIMES with the GEMS OF ISLAM TO OFFER ALTERNATIVE FORMS OF ABOVE NEGATIVE EXPRESSION, ABOVE DESTRUCTIVE PRACTICES CONTINUES TO THIS DAY.<br /><br />With no other creditable and peace-loving Muslim group armed with contemporary behavioral knowledge and gems of ISLAM available to advice the Muslims, the Ummah had no choice but to reluctantly and involuntarily be dragged by the non-Muslim world to be blamed by default to all the atrocities committed by a very small percentage of violent group of misguided Muslims.<br /><br />The extremist forces have continued to have a field day but this may not last too long, since many EDUCATIONAL AND KNOWLEDGEABLE MUSLIMS today have been successfully able to INTEGRATE THE GEMS OF ISLAM WITH CONTEMPORARY KNOWLEDGE and are silently working to displace the extremist elements.<br /><br />They are global in nature and from grass root organizations symbolically incubating and currently in a literal embryonic stage. The emergence of such long over due MUSLIMS and PEACE LOVING ISLAMIC GROUPS are expected, ALLAH WILLING to gain a wide range of support from majority of the GLOBAL UMMAH and will Inshallah win not by the unIslamic practice of blowing themselves up but by propagating their views in the global market place of ideas and respecting the wishes and differences of the people regardless of whether they receive the support from them or not.<br /><br />DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THE VERSE: “The ink of a Scholar’s pen is more precious than the blood of the martyr”. NOW YOU HAVE THE ANSWER AS TO WHY ISLAM PLACED MORE EMPHASIS ON THE INK OF THE SCHOLAR’S PEN TO THE BLOOD OF THE MARTYR. A PEACEFUL MUSLIM WOULD ALSO WAGE A BATTLE AGAINST INJUSTICE AND OPPRESSION BUT NOT WITH BLOODSHED INSTEAD WITH INTELLECTUAL POWER IN THE MARKET PLACE OF IDEAS.<br /><br />THE NEED OF THE HOUR FOR THE GLOBAL UMMAH IS NOT ONLY TO CONTINUE TO HAVE THE BEACON OF HOLY QURAN AND HADITH AS OUR SPIRITUAL AND BEHAVIORAL GUIDE, BUT ALSO TO INTEGRATE IT WITH THE REALITIES OF THE CONTEMPORARY TIMES AND SUCH A STRATEGY MAKES IT MORE PRACTICAL, FEASIBLE AND EASIER FOR US TO PRACTICE ISLAM IN OUR DAY TO DAY LIFE.<br /><br />Holy Quran and Hadith are essentially a foundation and guide for the Muslims. They are the “battery posts”, “leads” and “starters” from which solutions to other worldly day-to-day details should emanate. The most effective solution to problem solve the complexities of the UMMAH in the 21st century is the one that has a combination of above Islamic gems as well as EXPERT SPECIALIZED KNOWLEDGE from contemporary fields of behavioral research. All Muslims readily use expert specialized medical knowledge for their benefit but WHY MISS OUT UTILIZING EXPERT SPECIALIZED BEHAVIORAL KNOWLEDGE?<br /><br />So to all the Imams, Islamic Scholars and Muslims of the Healing Arts, COMMON, LET’S ALL JOIN OUR HANDS TOGETHER AND WORK TOWARDS WHAT OUR ISLAM STANDS FOR – P.E.A.C.E.<br /><br />As usual feel free to give your valuable feedback by contacting us at info@mehrunyusuficds.com.<br /><br /></strong></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2048355342278993304.post-8520322451282974182008-02-24T19:43:00.003-06:002010-01-26T02:22:12.509-06:00<div align="center"><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">ISLAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY ONLINE</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">(Revised Edition)</span><br />Volume 5, May, 2009<br />St. Louis, Missouri<br /><br />Hajji. Mohamed Ziauddin<br /><br />In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful<br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><br />FOCUS OF THE WEEK:</span><br />PART – I<br /><span style="font-size:130%;">VIEWING THE SUICIDE BOMBERS THROUGH THE ISLAMIC LENS: ARE THEY TRULY MARTYRS OR MISGUIDED MUSLIMS ?<br /><br /></span></strong> </div><div align="center"><strong></strong> </div><div align="justify"><strong>(a) Prophet Mohamed (SAW) stated: ‘Religion is very easy and whoever overburdens himself in his religion will not be able to continue in that way. SO YOU SHOULD NOT BE EXTREMISTS, but try to be near to perfection and receive the good tidings that you will be rewarded.” Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 2, Number 38. </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>(b) Prophet Mohamed (SAW) stated: “Sometimes, I enter prayer and I intend to prolong it, but then I hear a child crying, and I shorten my prayer thinking of the distress of the child’s mother”. Fiqh us-Sunnah, Volume 2, Number 51</strong></div><br /><strong>(Imagine if our loving Prophet Mohamed (SAW) was willing to cut down on the time for his prayer being sensitive to the distress of the crying child’s mother, then do you really believe that he would have ever approved the barbaric and atrocious act of suicidal bombing that involves innocent women and children being blown to pieces?)<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >INTRODUCTION:</span></strong><br /><div align="justify"><br /><strong>It is not just the mainstream media that lacks a proper understanding of Islam but also many non-Muslim professionals from the Healing Arts Profession. Well known politicians, close-minded Christian fundamentalists and non-Muslim psychologists still believe the laughable myth that the suicide bombers kill themselves in order to go to Paradise since there is the promise of 72 virgins waiting on heaven for any martyr in Islam. Does their myth also apply to Muslim female suicide attackers from “Black Widows of Chechnya”, “Palestinian and Turkish female suicide attackers” who blow up themselves to get seventy-two (male) virgins? OR if they postulate that it is a “MAN”S WORLD” even in the HEREAFTER, then perhaps they may believe that the female suicide attackers were lesbians. </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>Above misinformation is all the more reason why Muslims should take a personal responsibility to educate the non-Muslims of what the peaceful religion of Islam is really about.<br /><br />The facts that they don’t know is that as per Prophet Mohamed (SAW), a woman who dies during childbirth obtains the rank of a shaheed (martyr). A woman who exercises patience when her child dies, will be destined to enter Paradise immediately and even the partly-formed child in a miscarriage will take his or her mother to Paradise…Difficulties and calamities should not, therefore, lead to impatience, frustration and ingratitude or to any destructive acts. </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>Unfortunately certain Muslim Psychologists instead of integrating their learned contemporary psychology along with the gems of Islam and using such combination to work on solving problems, they have abandoned Islam and have joined a (may I add “pseudo”) elite group. On the other hand there are very good Muslim professionals from Psychology and related disciplines that may want to combine the two but find it new and too cumbersome to venture into applying such combination in their professional practice. </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>OUR UMMAH HAS BEEN LITERALLY TAKEN AS HOSTAGE BY AN EXTREMELY THIN MINORITY OF EXTREMIST ELEMENTS WHO HAVE INADVERTENTLY MISINTERPRETED CERTAIN GEMS FROM OUR HOLY QURAN AND HADITH.<br /><br />THEIR ACTIONS FOCUSED ON VIOLENCE, AGGRESSION, SUICIDE BOMBING IN OPEN MARKET PLACES, MOSQUES, COLLEGE CAMPUSES ET.C. THEIR KILLING HELPLESS INNOCENTS, HAVE UNNECESSARILY CAUSED OUR UMMAH A LOT OF PAIN, GRIEF, SUFFERING, AND ALL THE MORE BAD PUBLIC RELATIONS WITH THE NON-MUSLIM WORLD. </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>THEY ARE PARTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MUSLIMS TO BECOME VICTIMS OF BOTH:<br />(1) THEIR RELENTLESS CAMPAIGN OF TERROR, VIOLENCE, DESTRUCTION AND DEATH OF INNOCENT CHILDREN & WOMEN ET.C<br />(2) AS WELL AS FROM BEING VICTIMS OF “SECONDARY TERROR” FROM IGNORANT AND EXTREMIST ISLAM BASHERS. </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>The repeated emphasis from ISLAM to SEEK KNOWLEDGE has not been seriously implemented and this has resulted in the extremist elements trying to utilize every opportunity to misguide the UMMAH. Their world view is exclusively rooted in the past with deliberate rejection of the realities of the contemporary times and they have repeatedly defamed Islam by drawing international attention and condemnation to their extremely violent, anti-Islamic and destructive acts and thereby pushing the UMMAH into further hardship and misery. </strong></div><div style="font-style: italic;" align="justify"><br /><strong>Imam Al-Ghazali was a specialist in treatment of bad conduct and he concluded that the treatment of all misbehavior among the people would not come only by wishes, but by the use of medicine formed from two ingredients.<br /><br />(1) The first is KNOWLEDGE and<br />(2) The second is IMPLEMENTATION OF KNOWLEDGE.<br /><br />"If either of these two is missing, this problem will not be cured. He also added that because the taste of most medicines is sour, people don’t use it. Or if they use it, they will not complete the dosage. And who does not have enough patience to use the sour medicine, he will not reach the sweetness of the cure". </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>The suicide bombers attempt all short cuts and end up NOT ONLY destructing themselves against the will of Allah but also destructing the lives of other innocent individuals around them, especially women and children. </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>In terms of above two highlights by Imam Al-Ghazali, the extremist elements basically closed their door of learning to KNOWLEDGE from the PRESENT. By so doing, they had not only lost the golden opportunity to integrate the gems of ISLAM with the KNOWLEDGE of the present but also lost the ability to “IMPLEMENT” SUCH COMBINED KNOWLEDGE. Their exclusive focus and obsession to the past roots of ISLAM in the absence of facing the CURRENT realities, has already turned the tide of their long-term outcome towards their own downfall. </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>In reality, they give a hoot to Islam’s emphasis on PEACE, LOVE, and UNIVERSAL BROTHERHOOD but instead focus on destruction. Such a destruction starts by them blowing themselves up to begin with, followed by destroying the lives of hundreds of other innocents including women, children and worshipers who came to the HOUSE OF ALLAH to pray.<br /><br />Such victims HAPPENED TO BE IN THE WRONG PLACE AND IN THE WRONG TIME by being around the suicide bombers. Despite being an extremely small minority, they have through their destructive acts created a new generation of orphans, widows and loss of breadwinners of the family creating multiple economic and social stressors in the society. </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>It is not important what the writer has to say, but it is IMPORTANT WHAT THE HOLY QURAN and HADITH had to say on this matter. Let’s begin our analysis below:</strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>(1) Holy Quran (5:32)<br />“ WHOSOEVER KILLS A HUMAN BEING (for other than manslaughter or corruption in the earth), IT SHALL BE AS IF HE HAS KILLED ALL MANKIND, and whosoever saves the life of ONE, it shall be as if he had saved the life OF ALL MANKIND”. </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>(From the above Quranic verse, it is obvious of the tremendous emphasis that Allah has given to avoid killing a human being and multiplying the rewards of saving the life of a human being. Needless to say a suicide bomber has the destructive power to symbolically kill “all human beings” multiple times. If the suicide bomber accurately received the message from the Holy Quran he would implement acts of kindness to symbolically SAVE the life of HUMANITY multiple times). </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>(2) Holy Quran (2:152-153):<br />“O you who declare faith, seek divine assistance through patience and prayer. Surely, Allah is with those who patiently persevere”. </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>(The suicide bomber through his destructive act has showed that he is not willing to “seek divine assistance through patience and prayer”, even though Allah clearly states that He is “with those who patiently persevere”). </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>(3) Prophet Moses asked: “Oh, my Lord, WHO IS DEAREST TO YOU AMONG YOUR SERVANTS? Allah said: THE ONE WHO FORGIVES WHEN ABLE TO PUNISH”. Al-Bayhaqi. </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong> (Many of the suicide bombers feel that by doing such a destructive act they are punishing their enemies. From the above, when Allah had told Prophet Moses that the DEAREST to HIM are the ones “who forgives when able to punish”, then, is not this a paradox? The suicide bomber feels that he is going straight to PARADISE when Allah through the above indicates exactly the opposite). </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>(4) Holy Quran (12:90)<br />“Indeed he who fears Allah, and is PATIENT, then surely Allah makes not the reward of the doers of good to be lost” </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>(The destruction brought on by a suicide bomber is a violation of above Quranic guidance because if one were to be PATIENT, then one would not destruct self and other innocents nearby. On the contrary suicide bombing is a clear act of SEVERE IMPATIENCE. Allah not only encourages one to be patient but also promises that when one fears him and remains PATIENT, he would not make the rewards of doers of such good be lost). </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>(5) Holy Quran (4:85)<br />“Whosoever aids and encourages goodness is a partner to it, and whosoever aids and abets wrongfulness is a partner to it; and Allah has supremacy over all”. </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>(Is blowing oneself in a marketplace or other public places involving loss of lives to innocents around – an act of “goodness” or “wrongfulness”? For sure, it is an act of WRONGFULNESS. If majority of the UMMAH feels it is wrong, then they have a historical responsibility to speak out against it and not be passive spectators or observers. Further they are encouraged to aid and encourage acts of kindness and goodness and work towards PEACE as the gem of Holy Quran indicates above)</strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>(6) Holy Quran (6:82)<br />“Secure and rightly-guided are those that have faith and taint not their faith with injustice and wrongfulness.” </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>(Killing innocents through suicide bombing is an act of wrongfulness and injustice not only to the innocents who died but also their families) </strong></div><div align="justify"><strong><br />(7) Holy Quran (42:37-39)<br />“(Such put their trust in Allah)…. who avoid the greater sins, shun shameful deeds and FORGIVE EVEN WHEN ANGRY. …Those who conduct their affairs by mutual consultation…. Those who, when an oppressive wrong is inflicted on them (are not cowardly, but) HELP AND DEFEND THEMSELVES”</strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>(SUICIDE to begin with, is against ISLAM. Suicide accompanied by killing innocents especially women and children is indeed a very shameful deed. As indicated in above verse, Quran encourages FORGIVING WHEN ANGRY; a suicide bomber’s act is OPPOSITE of forgiveness. Concealing one self with bombs and deceiving the public and entering a peaceful public place such as a marketplace or House of Allah and then blowing oneself is DEFINITELY not defending oneself when an oppressive wrong has been done) </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>(8) Holy Quran (7:199)<br />“Be forgiving, command what is right and avoid (indulging in the ignorance of) the ignorant. </strong></div><div style="font-style: italic;" align="justify"><br /><strong>A suicide bomber’s act is NOT FORGIVING but rather an act of (indulging in the ignorance of) the ignorant.</strong></div><div align="justify"><strong><br />(9) Holy Quran (16:97)<br />“ALLAH WILL REWARD THE DOERS OF GOOD, WHETHER MALE OR FEMALE, WITH THE REVIVAL OF A GOOD LIFE AND WITH APPROPRIATE REWARD ACCORDING TO THE BEST OF THEIR DEEDS” </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>(An act of killing innocents through suicide bombing is not act of DOERS OF GOOD and is definitely NOT THE BEST OF ONE’S DEEDS. Instead it is an act of double sin - self destruction and destruction of other lives).</strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>CONCLUSION:</strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>The writer recognizes the fact that above is only one such perspective of viewing the horrible act of a suicide bomber and fully understands that there are many other perspectives. It is encouraged for the UMMAH to have an open mind and be receptive to different perspectives without being judgmental and immediately giving a negative label to a person whose opinion does not mirror theirs.<br /><br />It will be difficult for the UMMAH to successfully move forward unless it exercises more tolerance to different perspectives of a particular burning issue for the UMMAH. Let this perspective be ONE OF THE MANY perspectives in the intellectual marketplace of ideas. The Ummah has its own synergy to pick up momentum behind a certain perspective that has a judicious mixture between the historical Islamic roots and the fluid, dynamic and ever changing contemporary realities.<br /><br />It is an established fact that globally the majority of the UMMAH are following Prophet Mohamed’s (SAW) recommendation of being MODERATES. The global UMMAH has two extremes, one extreme is the Muslims whose life is anchored to history and are disconnected to the present, and the other extreme are secular or anti-Islamic Muslims who luckily are also a very negligible minority.<br /><br />Most of the Muslims fall in between and continue their struggle to lead a lifestyle that has a balance of both.<br /><br />Above Editor concludes by recalling Prophet Mohamed’s (SAW) advice:<br />“He is NOT the best among you who NEGLECTS HIS WORLDLY LIFE for the SAKE OF THE HEREAFTER, or NEGLECTS THE HEREAFTER FOR THE SAKE OF HIS WORLDLY LIFE, UNTIL HE WORKS FOR BOTH. Realize that this life is a path that leads to the Hereafter, so do not become a burden on others”. IBN ASSAKIR. </strong></div><div align="justify"><br /><strong>As usual feel free to e-mail your comments to</strong> <a href="mailto:info@mehrunyusuficds.com">info@mehrunyusuficds.com</a>. </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2048355342278993304.post-71021114671997820972008-02-17T22:46:00.007-06:002010-01-26T02:09:09.785-06:00<p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold;" align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;">ISLAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY ONLINE</span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold;" align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-size:85%;">(Revised Edition)</span><br /></span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold;" align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">Volume 4, April 2009<br /></span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold;" align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">St. Louis, Missouri </span></p><div style="font-weight: bold; font-family: arial; text-align: center;" align="center"></div><div style="font-weight: bold; font-family: arial; text-align: center;" align="center"></div><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold;" align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">Editor: Mohamed Ziauddin MSW LCSW ACSW </span></p><div style="font-weight: bold; font-family: arial; text-align: center;" align="center"></div><p class="MsoBodyText" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful</span></span> </p><p class="MsoBodyText" align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong>SPOTLIGHT OF THE WEEK:</strong></span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong><br /></strong></span> </p><p class="MsoBodyText" face="arial" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">POTENTIAL PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS OF PSYCHOLOGY THAT THE UMMAH COULD UTILIZE IN HELPING ITSELF.<br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; font-family: arial; text-align: center;"><br /></p><div style="font-weight: bold; font-family: arial; text-align: center;"></div><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">In the gems of the Holy Quran and Hadith, there is emphasis on PEACE, TOLERANCE, and CARING FOR EACH OTHER AND UNIVERSAL BROTHERHOOD. Then why do we still see such graphic violence in the behavior among some sections of our UMMAH?</p><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">While the gems of the Holy Quran and Hadith could be the foundation and building blocks of our interpersonal and social behavior, we as Muslims need to learn additional skills and tools when it comes to responding to difference of opinions and negativity. Such tools can be used both at a micro level and macro level, at an individual level and global level. Dealing with difference of opinion and negativity can be between a husband and wife on a marital level or between Shias and Sunnis at a sectarian <span style="font-size:0pt;"> </span>level. </p><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL IN TERMS OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION. Needless to say the responses for conflict resolution would vary depending on the individuals or groups<span style="font-size:0pt;"> </span>involved. But we need to start somewhere and at an appropriate later stage, blend in the expert advice of both Islamic scholars and Islamic psychologists and psychotherapists to get the most effective, practical interventions to address above interpersonal or inter group conflicts.<span style="font-size:0pt;"> </span>This is only the first step and it can be enhanced organizationally with the help of legislative, governmental and non-governmental entities.<span style="font-size:0pt;"> </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">Listening to the above Islamic gems in speeches and practically integrating it with contemporary psychological tools and applying it in practice to resolve conflict in our interpersonal lives<span style="font-size:0pt;"> </span>is likely to be more effective than just listening to the Islamic gems and missing out on above aspect of integration.<br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">Is it then a surprise why there has been so much emphasis in Islam to seek KNOWLEDGE? All knowledge is from ALLAH and for effective problem solving we must integrate the contemporary knowledge of various behavioral disciplines with the Islamic foundational concepts derived from Hadith and Holy Quran.<span style="font-size:0pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:0pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:0pt;"> </span>Above Editor argues th<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">at</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">the</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" > optimal </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">benefit </span></span>of the application of Hadith and Holy Quranic gems cannot be fully maximized in issues pertaining to interpersonal conflict, until it is integrated with contemporary psychological tools. Such tools come with the contemporary behavioral knowledge that is in a constant state of change, all from the grace of Almighty Allah. Muslims must continue serious<span style="font-size:0pt;"> </span>pursuit of KNOWLEDGE<span style="font-size:0pt;"> </span>as recommended in the hadith and Holy Quran.<span style="font-size:0pt;"> </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">In general, we should try to do our very best to<span style="font-size:0pt;"> </span>avoid<span style="font-size:0pt;"> </span>criticizing others since we could better utilize the time by correcting ourselves in whatever ways possible. Below examples is NOT with intent to pinpoint one particular national group (nationals of Qatar) or one particular occupational group (maidservants), but rather it is an honest attempt to address an issue of INJUSTICE and EXPLOITATION.<br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">As Muslim professionals of the HEALING ARTS PROFESSION we have an obligation to address such a critical exploitative issue, create awareness of the plight of the silent victims and implement our Islamic duty to assist those in need in whatever ways practically possible even though such a terrible event is occurring on the other side of the globe by our own Muslim brothers and sisters.</p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /><span style="font-size:0pt;"> </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">Further, before we point our fingers at other non-Muslims and scapegoat them for our problems, it is good for us to take a deep and serious look at our own Ummah’s social backyard and work on ways to correct ourselves. This is told from our Ummah’s<span style="font-size:0pt;"> </span>global perspective.<br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><p class="MsoBodyText" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">PLIGHT OF MAID SERVANTS IN THE MIDDLE EAST</span>:</span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="text-align: left;"></p><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkRHnZ25ujtJ1LZo-sMQD1BHsR6Bfgubd4re2Y491y4bZHtrEQAcKISgwzCOwbdOQAPqXlDfbMBBXbc1b3FCRzKAx67WhJPFNk9_9nNl4JAKRIekLbPOGd0HpWSOZx6LoouuYMOlfJ4r0/s1600-h/beaten-maid2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5168180111929988146" style="width: 316px; cursor: pointer; height: 257px;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkRHnZ25ujtJ1LZo-sMQD1BHsR6Bfgubd4re2Y491y4bZHtrEQAcKISgwzCOwbdOQAPqXlDfbMBBXbc1b3FCRzKAx67WhJPFNk9_9nNl4JAKRIekLbPOGd0HpWSOZx6LoouuYMOlfJ4r0/s320/beaten-maid2.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /></div><p class="MsoBodyText" align="justify"><strong>ONE SUCH ISSUE IS THE TREATMENT OF MAIDSERVANTS THAT COME FROM VARIOUS COUNTRIES TO WORK IN THE MIDDLE EAST. LET’S TAKE FEW EXAMPLES IN THE COUNTRY OF QATAR.<br /></strong></p><p class="MsoBodyText" align="justify"><strong><br /></strong></p><p class="MsoBodyText" align="justify"><strong>TORTURE AND ABUSE OF DOMESTIC WORKERS REMAINS A PROBLEM IN QATAR. REQUESTS FROM HUMAN RIGHTS ORGANIZATIONS GO UNHEEDED. THE AUTHORITIES HAVE SO FAR FAILED TO ADDRESS THE PROBLEMS FACED BY THOUSANDS OF DOMESTIC WORKERS BY REFUSING TO BRING THEM UNDER THE PROTECTION OF THE EXISTING LABOR LAW. TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, THOSE HOUSEMAIDS WHO FLEE THEIR ABUSIVE EMPLOYERS ARE CONSIDERED AS ILLEGALS AND DEPORTED.</strong></p><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoBodyText"><strong><br /><span style="font-size:0pt;"> </span></strong></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">THE SRI LANKAN GOVERNMENT ESTIMATES THAT 15 TO 20 PERCENT OF THE 100,000 WOMEN WHO LEAVE EACH YEAR FOR THE MIDDLE EAST RETURN PREMATURELY, DUE TO PHYSICAL ABUSE OR NONPAYMENT OF SALARY.<br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold;">A 26-year-old Qatari woman has been sentenced to three years imprisonment after she was found guilty of beating her Sri Lankan maid to death. The 24-year-old maid, who came to Qatar two months before her death, was admitted to hospital with severe injuries and succumbed to her wounds in the hospital three days later. The court also ordered the convict to pay QR 150,000 to the family of the deceased as blood money. The accused had confessed to attacking the maid with her hands “on several parts of her body to teach her a lesson because she was lazy and non-obedient”.<br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold;">The accused also told that the maid was “unclean and used to dress indecently in front of her husband” and therefore she used to beat her up. She denied using any weapon to attack the victim. The accused said that she pushed the maid against the wall repeatedly after discovering a local telephone number that she had.<br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">A Qatari couple walked free (of jail time) despite beating their Indonesian housemaid into an irreversible coma and later death. A Doha court sentenced the couple of five years of imprisonment, but they never served the term after agreeing to pay QR 300,000 to the maid’s family as compensation.<br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">An Egyptian couple has been accused of torturing to death a 24-year-old Filipina housemaid, a local Arabic daily has reported. The woman, who was employed with the family for 14 months, died after a horrifying sequence of abuse and torture, whereby she suffered burns and severe beatings, the Al-Rayah daily reported quoting a police report. There were burn injuries all over the maid’s body and a medical report described these as “imprints of torture”. The report said one of her fingernails was also removed. Investigators also found bloodstains on the walls and curtains of the apartment.</p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /><span style="font-size:0pt;"> </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">BRIEF ANALYSIS:</p><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">Where is the element of pearls of Islam - <span style="font-style: italic;">"Compassion and Tolerance" </span>in the above? Many of us are ourselves immigrants settled in different countries. We cannot easily forget the send off, our own family and friends may have given us from the airport when we first left our home countries to go overseas for either higher education or higher wages or just joining our family in our new country of settlement.<br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">Above victims had also like us,<span style="font-size:0pt;"> </span>left their home countries to improve their lives, having no clue of the tragedy that was awaiting for them. The worst part is that the perpetrators were not non-Muslims but someone from our own peace loving faith of Islam. As far as we are concerned, they had grossly violated Islamic values of tolerance, compassion and peace. </p><br /><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">From an occupational perspective, should the relationship between the maid and the family that she stays with, be considered an <span style="font-style: italic;">Employer-Employee </span>relationship?<br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">If yes, then of course the maidservant could avail of whatever limited rights the employee may have in such countries. If not, could not there be an alternative legislation to ensure that the basic human rights of such maidservants are protected? We are not claiming that the maidservants are perfect employees but rather what legal and Islamic course of action should the perpetrators as employers take, if they are not happy with the work performed by their maidservant. It is totally unislamic to torture, burn and kill as reflected in the examples above.</p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /><span style="font-size:0pt;"> </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">Why is such gross injustice towards the maidservants not addressed by the Imams in their speeches in Friday prayers in the Middle East? FIGHTING AGAINST INJUSTICE IS PART OF ISLAMIC VALUE.<br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">From a psychological perspective, what new tools and skills can the families that employ maidservants learn when they have to deal with a maidservant that they are not happy with for whatever reason, besides the unislamic practice of torture and killing them.<br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">One can only guess the pathetic level of communication between the perpetrators towards the maidservants. Is not there other more humane ways for the perpetrator to convey to the maidservant about their dissatisfaction with their work, if that is the main issue? Or if the perpetrators feel she is not fit to meet their expectations of a maidservant, why not just allow her to return back to her country (Alive) rather than in a casket?<br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">While we don’t claim to have solutions for all problems, we want to start a spark by addressing such a problem that has repeatedly missed in the global Ummah’s radar screen, in the hope that it could pick up support and momentum to reach the desired location where it needs to be changed.<br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">As Muslim Social Workers and Psychotherapists, we are strong advocates for the “poorest of the poor”, “victimized and traumatized”, “oppressed” et.c. And we encourage all Arabs of CONSCIENCE to work towards alleviating this issue at the grass roots level. OUR HEARTS GOES OUT TO ALL THE MAIDSERVANTS WHO ARE BEING CONTINUALLY OPPRESSED, SUBJUGATED AND EXPLOITED BY PERPETRATORS IN VIOLATION OF THE RELIGION OF PEACE – ISLAM.</p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /><span style="font-size:0pt;"> </span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">DISCLAIMER: Focus is on the perpetrators and the victims in Qatar. This article in NO way intends to be a stereotype for all nationals of Qatar. We acknowledge that there are many nationals of Qatar who truly follow the gems of Islam in terms of<span style="font-size:0pt;"> </span>taking good care and showing tolerance and understanding in dealing with their maidservants and our deep respects to them.<br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">Acknowledgements:</p><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><a href="http://www.peacefulmuslimah.wordpress.com/">http://www.peacefulmuslimah.wordpress.com/</a></p><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2048355342278993304.post-21852410937631748382008-01-24T21:02:00.003-06:002010-01-26T01:52:33.507-06:00<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">ISLAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY ONLINE</span></span><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">(Revised Edition)</span></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Volume 3, March 2009</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">St. Louis, Missouri</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Editor: Hajji. Mohamed Ziauddin MSW LCSW ACSW </span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;">In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">CAN THERE BE LITERALLY A LOVE AFFAIR BETWEEN FEMINIST AND DEVOUT MUSLIM ENTITIES?</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">What would be the first thought that comes to mind when you say to a devout Muslim, “there she is, the feminist that I was talking about”.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">What would be the first thought that comes to mind when you say to a feminist, “there she is, the devout Muslim with the headscarf that I was talking about”.</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">On the surface, it may appear that Feminism and Islam are poles apart with differences too wide to ever reconcile. Both of above two groups see the other as a threat to their value system. Not surprisingly in the scenario mentioned above, very likely the first thoughts for both the Muslim and the Feminist regarding the “other” are generally negative thoughts, labels and stereotypes. WHY IS THAT?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Could it be intolerance from both sides? Could it be blind stereotypes based on misinformation about each other? How many Muslims have with an open mind really tried to understand the roots of feminism and the details of their value system? In the same way, how many feminists have with an open mind really tried to understand the roots of Islam, details of the life of Prophet Mohamed (PBUH) especially as it pertains to his championing the cause of rights of women? Because they have been consistently flooded with misinformation about Islam and lack of such accurate and true information, they may be wondering, <span style="font-style: italic;">“what is he talking about”?</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Both sides are almost blind to the positives of the other. Misinformation from the media (against Islam) and from the unenlightened Muslims (against feminism) feed into each other breeding additional intolerance and hate for each other.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The hate between both the groups in the 21st century has reached a point of creating a blind spot – which is the POSITIVES THAT BOTH GROUPS HAVE TO OFFER FOR THE BEST INTEREST OF THE FEMALE.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">It is here that Muslim organizations such as ours could call for a change in such rigid and intransigent attitudes on both sides against each other. While we are fully cognizant and realize that we cannot totally and successfully change the feminist’s organizations to our ideal expectations, we do believe that as a Muslim organization we can take the initiative in this direction.<br /><br />Taking above initiative to FIND COMMON GROUND is within our control, although we acknowledge that we in the process may be fired from the extremists on both camps – the <span style="font-style: italic;">taliban style</span> Muslims and the <span style="font-style: italic;">radical men-hating </span>feminists. But both extremist elements may not be able to stop above positive initiative mainly because of the support from the majority on both sides of the isle, who generally do not carry such extreme positions of hate and intolerance towards the other? There is a small group in between that is symbolically a hybrid such as FEMINIST MUSLIMS.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">IS THIS EXERCISE IN DILUTING INTOLERANCE AND FOSTERING TOLERANCE BETWEEN BOTH GROUPS SOMETHING NEW?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">What we are basically doing is RESURRECTING THE LONG FORGOTTEN VALUE OF “TOLERANCE” THAT WAS PREACHED BY OUR LOVING PROPHET MOHAMMED (SAW)) AND WHICH UNFORTUNATELY GOT BURIED OVER LAYERS OF CULTURAL VALUES MANY OF WHICH HAD NOTHING DIRECTLY TO DO WITH ISLAM.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">It is a paradox that even though the “feminists” are perceived to have moved away from the “feminine” concept that traditionally distinguished them from “masculine”, still their name falsely continues to signify a preponderance to be “feminine”.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">As with any other kind of relationship, there will be irreconcilable differences between the feminists and Muslims. Further both may have to respectfully AGREE TO DISAGREE on certain issues.<br /><br />HOWEVER THE QUESTION WE NEED TO ASK IS: "SHOULD THE ABOVE DIFFERENCES AMONG THE MUSLIMS AND FEMINISTS BE A VALID REASON TO CLOSE THE DOOR TO EXPLORE WAYS OF TEAMING UP WITH EACH OTHER AND FINDING COMMON GROUND TO HELP THE NEEDY FEMALES?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Most Muslims support the feminists for common issues such as EQUAL PAY FOR EQUAL WORK, EQUAL OPPORTUNITY FOR EDUCATION AND CAREER ADVANCEMENT et.c? </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Who among you would think that the feminist organizations are going to deny a request by Muslim organizations to team up together?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(1) In order to help fight the unislamic and local cultural practice of Female Genital Mutilation that is SHOCKINGLY still continuing in some Muslim countries?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(2) In order to help the Muslim victims who have been partially burned and traumatized due to issues relating to dowry?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(3) In order to help build schools, vocational and career training centers for Muslim women?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(4) In order to help the girls in Muslim orphanages and Muslim women in shelters?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(5) Provide female volunteers to help in various social service agencies that are focused on helping females in crisis and other related situations?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">By the way, MAY I ASK, WHAT IS THE UMMAH SERIOUSLY DOING FOR OUR SISTERS THROUGH THEIR INSTITUTIONS OF MOSQUES AND THEIR LEADERS? DUE TO PAUCITY OF RESOURCES TO HELP OUR SISTERS, WE ARE EXPLORING ALL PRACTICAL OPTIONS AND COMMON GROUNDS. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">THE WRITER ARGUES THAT THE HATE AND NEGATIVITY BETWEEN THE FEMINISTS AND MUSLIMS HAS SHUT DOWN MANY AREAS OF CO-OPERATION THAT COULD HAVE EASILY BENEFITED THE MUSLIM FEMALES WORLDWIDE. IT IS SAD THAT THE ULTIMATE BENEFICIARY – THE MUSLIM FEMALE GETS TO LOSE, AS LONG AS THE POLARITY AND ONGOING TENSION CONTINUES BETWEEN BOTH OF THE ABOVE GROUPS AGAINST EACH OTHER.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">ABOVE EDITOR CALLS FOR INCREASED PARTNERSHIP ON COMMON AREAS OF CONCERN TO BENEFIT ALL DECEDENTS OF THE FEMALE SPECIES OF EVE.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Having explained the above, it is to be noted that the focus is on COMMON GROUND. We as Muslims will continue to stick by the gems of Islam in terms of following Holy Quran and the teachings of Prophet Mohammed (SAW).</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">With increased awareness of the UMMAH in terms of professional Social Work and related Social Services, it is all the more important to enlist the assistance of females, especially when dealing with female clients.<br /><br />Islamic values definitely prefer women to help women compared to men helping women especially in situations that call for both of them to be in the same office or being alone in the absence of a third person. Unfortunately most of the Muslim females globally still lag behind in their educational and literacy rates.<br /><br />It does not hurt for the Muslims to tap into the feminist organizations talent, & expertise especially as it relates to assisting Muslim females with health, medical and psychological issues. There are tremendous possibilities for both the feminists and Muslims to work jointly as a team to reach out to all the Muslim females in need.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">If feminists think that they could directly enter the world of Muslim women and change them as they please, without the direct support and encouragement of the Muslim men, then they may be wrong?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">If Muslims think that they could reach out to the maximum number of needy Muslim females and help them all by themselves without enlisting the logistic support and other related forms of assistance from non-Muslim sources, then they are wrong too?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">THIS ISSUE AIMS AT BRINGING BOTH THE MUSLIMS AND FEMINISTS TOGETHER TO WORK AS A TEAM FOR THE BEST INTEREST OF THE MUSLIM FEMALE. WE ARE AWARE OF VARYING DEGREE OF APPREHENSIONS ON THIS ISSUE, THE SAME WAS TOLD INITIALLY OF INTERFAITH WORK, BUT NOW YOU SEE MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE JOINING THE INTERFAITH INITIATIVE FOR THE COMMON GOOD OF HUMANITY.<br /><br />IF DIFFERENCES COULD BE PUT ASIDE IN INTERFAITH WORK FOR THE COMMON GOOD OF HUMAN BEINGS, WHY NOT BETWEEN THE FEMINISTS AND MUSLIMS FOR THE COMMON GOOD OF FEMALES, MORE SPECIFICALLY THE MUSLIM FEMALES?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">THE END</span><br /></div><br />Feel free to e-mail us at <a href="mailto:info@mehrunyusuficds.com">info@mehrunyusuficds.com</a>.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2048355342278993304.post-41668735218093197742008-01-23T19:51:00.001-06:002010-01-26T01:28:57.779-06:00<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">ISLAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY ONLINE</span></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:78%;" >(Revised Edition)</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Volume 02, February 2009</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">St. Louis, Missouri</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Editor: Mohamed Ziauddin MSW LCSW ACSW </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">SPOTLIGHT FOR THIS WEEK:</span></span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">“A CASE STUDY OF RELATIONSHIPS:<br />A MUSLIM PSYCHOTHERAPIST’S PERSPECTIVE</span></span>”<br /></div><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" ><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >ISLAMIC EMPHASIS ON A STABLE SOCIETY AND STABLE RELATIONSHIP</span>:<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">“The cornerstone of a society is a good and stable family. Islam encourages people to get married and have a stable family. The latter is based on rights and responsibilities on both husband and the wife. Islam recognizes the social necessity, the religious virtues and the moral aspect of marriages. There is no premarital relation as much as there is no extramarital relationship” (1).</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Family in Islam is composed of: Parents children, grandparents, grandchildren, uncles, aunts, nephews and nieces from both sides of husband and wife. When a couple marries each other they are to socially integrate their extended families to unite as one. They become an integral part of the big family in the society. There are rules and regulations of a stable family. There are obligations and duties in as much as there are rights and privileges (1).</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">In a way, the married life is a matter of worship, just like those of praying, fasting and other religious acts. Hence, it is considered to be a fulfillment of the faith of the individuals. Marriage is for worldly and heavenly benefits, both at the same time. Marriage helps a person to live a stable life – morally, socially, psychologically, culturally, spiritually, economically and biologically et.c. (1) <br /><br />Marriage and the subsequent steps of having children and raising a family is also a platform to transition not just the genes from one generation to the next but also a distillation and transition of vast gamut of values from the refineries of culture, society, religion et.c from one generation to the next. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Marriage and family are rooted in RELATIONSHIPS. While there are several hadith and verses from the noble Holy Quran emphasizing positive relationships, the reality on the ground for the current UMMAH is nothing but a series of challenges to the individual. One wonders why such an important issue of RELATIONSHIPS is frequently just brushed over or barely touched in the speeches and sermons that we hear. </span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">THE SAD REALITY:</span></span><br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">THE SAD REALITY IS THAT FOR MANY INDIVIDUALS THE PERSON WHO CREATED THE MOST HARM AND PAIN TO THEM IS EITHER A LOVED ONE OR FAMILY MEMBER OR RELATIVE.<br /><br />YOU MAY HAVE YOURSELF NOT ONLY HEARD BUT WITNESSED A NUMBER OF SITUATIONS WHICH ATTEST TO ABOVE FACT. WHY IS THIS? </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Of course, we should not forget that there are certain Muslims who are blessed to have a stable family, a stable relationship with their spouse and who could symbolically say with confidence that their marriage was made in heaven and if you want to see a sample, meet them. However the focus of this issue is not on the “happy campers”, instead it is dedicated to the majority of Muslim clients who have sought therapeutic services for relationship conflict issues.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">THE SECOND SUCH SAD REALITY IS THAT AN INDIVIDUAL MUSLIM GOES OUT OF HIS OR HER WAY BY BENDING BACKWARDS AND HELPING HIS OR HER OWN FAMILY MEMBER(s) OR RELATIVE(s) OR FRIEND(s) TO THE MAXIMUM OF HIS OR HER ABILITY AND IN RETURN THE PERSON WHO RECEIVED ALL THE HELP BECOMES ALMOST AN ENEMY. SYMBOLICALLY THAT SAME MOUTH THAT WAS FED BY ONE’S GENEROUS HAND ALL ALONG, HAS NOW COME TO BITE THE SAME HAND. MANY CLIENTS HAVE REPORTED SUCH AN EXPERIENCE TO BE EXTREMELY PAINFUL MAINLY BECAUSE THIS WAS NOT WHAT THEY WERE EXPECTING IN RETURN.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">THE POINT TO BE EMPHASIZED HERE IS THAT, IN REALITY IN MOST CASES, IT IS NOT SOME STRANGER FROM OUT OF THE BLUE THAT COMES TO CAUSE AN INDIVIDUAL THE MAXIMUM PAIN, BUT INSTEAD IT IS ONE’S VERY OWN LOVED ONE, OR KITH & KIN, RELATIVE POSSIBLY STAYING UNDER THE SAME ROOF OR WITHIN THE SAME SOCIAL CIRCLE THAT BECOMES THE GREATEST ENEMY AND THE MAXIMUM SOURCE OF ANGER & RESENTMENT. </span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">AN EXAMPLE OF HOW A RELATIVE COULD IN A SUBTLE WAY DEVASTATE AN INDIVIDUAL’S LIFE: </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">What would a young innocent beautiful female immigrant from another country do, when her own relative who supported the sponsorship of her violates Islamic and local laws and makes indirect sexual advances towards her. If she discloses this “secret” to her host relatives, then a conflict may ensue among the family members that could possibly result in one or more of them ending up to live in a women's shelter. Obviously she did not leave her country of birth to end up at a “women’s shelter” in the U.S. This was never a way to start a new life with an intent to permanently settle down in a new country. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Further due to <span style="font-style: italic;">“strong family values”, </span>the young female voluntarily suffered such unwelcome sexual advances in order to prevent major conflict within the family. This in her eyes was a “sacrifice” she was making to continue to see the family “happy”. But how long can she continue to suffer and at what cost? What options are out there for the resolution of above problem? </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">If this drives her to seek any decent Muslim man in her local community to get married and permanently get out of her host relative's house, would such a hasty decision to marry be a wrong judgment on her part?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">To begin with, would this be a legitimate reason to get married? What if the stressors she face from the new husband are far worse than the current stressors from her </span>male relative who was making sexual advances to her. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">From whom can she get advice in this newly adopted country of hers, when she cannot even speak proper English?<br /><br />Even if the Ummah is concerned about helping other fellow Muslims, WHAT STRUCTURE OR PROCESS DOES THE UMMAH HAVE IN PLACE TO IDENTIFY SILENT VICTIMS LIKE HER AND PERPETRATORS LIKE HER MALE RELATIVE WHO DISCREETLY WALK IN THE DARK SHADOWS OF UN-ISLAMIC AND UNLAWFUL PATH?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">THE MASJIDS (HOUSE OF ALLAH) WAS THE LAST BASTION WHERE SHE COULD HAVE EASILY GONE AND CONFIDED TO A SELECTED MEMBER OF HER OWN FAITH IN HER OWN LANGUAGE?<br /><br />BUT UNLIKE THE GOLDEN DAYS OF OUR PROPHET MOHAMMED (SAW), WHERE THE MASJID WAS USED FOR SOCIAL SERVICES TOO, AMONG MANY OTHER PURPOSES, TODAY THERE IS NO VISIBLE SIGN OR PERSON IN THE HOUSE OF ALLAH, WITH A “WELCOME SIGN”, ENCOURAGING HER TO EXPRESS HER PROBLEMS WITH THE ARDENT HOPE THAT IT WILL BE LOOKED INTO AND RESOLVED.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">WHEN THERE IS NO FORMAL OR INFORMAL STRUCTURE IN PLACE, THE QUESTION OF UTILIZING OUR INVISIBLE TALENT OF MUSLIM PROFESSIONALS FROM THE HEALING ARTS DOES NOT EVEN ARISE.<br /><br />Most of the Social Service Committees of Masjids at the present time are focused on financial and material related services to the needy besides organizing dinners and other specific functions, which is good, but it is recommended that they move into the psychological and social domain as well, creating a structure and process to enable receiving voluntary assistance from Muslims who are more than willing to assist as needed.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF MUSLIMS WITHIN THE U.S. TODAY FROM THE HEALING ARTS PROFESSION WHO ARE SINCERE AND WILLING TO VOLUNTEER THEIR SERVICES TO FELLOW MUSLIMS, BUT WHEN THERE IS NO FORMAL STRUCTURE IN PLACE TO STREAMLINE THE PROCESS, HOW CAN THEY EVEN IDENTIFY WHO THE PSYCHOLOGICALLY NEEDY MUSLIMS ARE? </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Coming back to the main focus of this issue, as you see, what an havoc and devastation indirect and subtle unislamic acts can do to shatter the stability of a helpless individual who is currently meeting her basic needs of food, housing and clothing from her own perpetrator.<br /><br />THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF HOW A RELATIVE OR FAMILY MEMBER CAN CAUSE SEVERE PROBLEMS TO AN INDIVIDUAL. EMOTIONAL PAIN CAUSED DUE TO ECONOMIC RELATED REASONS IS YET ANOTHER MAJOR AREA BETWEEN AN INDIVIDUAL AND HIS OR HER FAMILY MEMBER OR RELATIVE.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">This issue of severe harm done to self by close family members has not received the attention it deserves. Such harm comes partly by violating ISLAMIC PRINCIPLES AND VALUES. This violation must be addressed and condemned when we speak of UMMAH and ISLAMIC BROTHERHOOD.<br /><br />It is recommended that the Islamic Centers open the doors of their Social Service Committees to help the needy who are undergoing various forms of psychological and emotional pain and hardships. The easiest way to do it is by identifying the Muslims in the HEALING ARTS PROFESSION and welcoming them to contribute their noble services.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">“Whosoever aids and encourages goodness is a partner to it, and whosoever aids and abets wrongfulness is a partner to it; and Allah has supremacy over all” (4:85). </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">“Introducing Islam: Foundation for Islamic Knowledge”- Ahmad Sakr.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">As usual feel free to give your valuable feedback. Our e-mail address is info@mehrunyusuficds.com.<br /><br />THE END<br /></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2048355342278993304.post-30601874151700401212008-01-21T17:40:00.003-06:002010-01-26T01:53:56.914-06:00<div align="justify"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:130%;" ><strong>Islamic Psychotherapy Online</strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">(Revised Edition)</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><strong></strong></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Volume 01, January 2009</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">St. Louis, Missouri</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;">Mohamed Ziauddin MSW, LCSW, ACSW<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;">In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful<br /></div><span style="font-size:180%;"><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;"><strong>FOCUS OF THIS WEEK</strong></span>:</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:180%;" ><strong>CLUTTER:</strong></span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;">THIS ISSUE IS DEDICATED TO ONE MUSLIM CLIENT WHO HAD A VERY SEVERE PROBLEM WITH CLUTTER AND WHO WAS BRIEFLY REFERRED FOR CONSULTATION TO THIS WRITER FROM A MUSLIM AGENCY:<br /><br /><br /><strong style="font-weight: bold;">HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM A CLUTTERER?</strong><br />(Clutterer Anonymous)<br /><br /><strong style="font-weight: bold;"></strong><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">(1) Do you have more possessions or items in your life than you can handle comfortably?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(2) Do you find it difficult to dispense of many things, even those you have not used in years?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(3) Do you rent storage space to house items you never use?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(4) Do you spend time looking for things that are hard to find because of all the clutter?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(5) Do you find it easier to drop something than to put it away, or wedge an object into an overcrowded drawer or closet rather than to find a space for it?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(6) Do you collect things to give to others?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(7) Do you bring things into your house without establishing a place for them?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(8) IS YOUR CLUTTER CAUSING PROBLEMS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(9) Are you embarrassed to have visitors because your home is never presentable?</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Do you hesitate sharing about this problem because you are ashamed of your cluttering?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(10) Are you constantly doing for others while your own home is out of order?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(11) Do you miss deadlines or abandon projects because you can’t find the paperwork or material you need to finish the work?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(12) Do you sometimes get buried in details, making projects take much longer than is really necessary?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(13) Do you procrastinate about cleaning up because you believe you must do it perfectly or you won’t do it at all?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(14) Are you easily sidetracked, moving from one project to another without finishing any of them?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(15) o you have problems with time management and estimating how long it takes to do things?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(16) Do you believe there is all the time in the world to clean your house, finish those projects and read all those piles of old magazines?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(17) Do you use distractions to escape from your clutter?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(18) Have you tried to clean up from time to time but find yourself unable to stick with it?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(19) Does the problem appear to be growing?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">IF YOU ANSWERED “YES” TO THREE OR MORE OF THESE QUESTIONS, THERE IS A CHANCE YOU ARE A CLUTTER OR WELL ON YOUR WAY TO BECOMING ONE.</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >ISLAMIC PERSPECTIVE: </span><br /></div><span style="font-size:180%;"> </span><br /></div></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">“The purpose of the hygiene regime in Islam is to create a community, which is healthy and immune against infectious diseases and the healthy individual (in body and mind) who is capable of understanding and applying God’s message and carrying it away to the whole world” (2)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">BODY CLEANLINESS: Islam recommends bathing for 23 reasons. Seven of them are compulsory and sixteen are preferable.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">HANDS CLEANLINESS:<br />Prophet Mohamed (PBUH) stated:<br /><br />(a) “Wash thy hands before and after eating”.<br /><br />(b) “Wash thy hands after awakening. No one knows where his hands lay during his sleep”.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">CLOTHING CLEANLINESS:<br />Islam recommends clothing cleanliness and elegance. “Ameliorate thy clothing and thy mount”.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FOOD AND DRINK CLEANLINESS:<br />Orders for protecting food from dust and insects, the Prophet Mohamed (SAW) stated: “Cover they vessels and drinks”.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">RESIDENCE CLEANLINESS:<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">(PRIMARY FOCUS OF THIS ISSUE)</span></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">“CLEAN THY COURTYARDS AND THY RESIDENCES AS WELL AS STREET CLEANLINESS”. “IT IS CHARITABLE TO REMOVE HARMS (HARMFUL THINGS) FROM THE ROAD”.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">CLEANLINESS OF WATER SOURCES:<br />Such as wells, rivers and shores. Therefore urinating and defecating are forbidden in any of them.<br />Prophet Mohamed stated:<br />“Avoid three evils: defecation in water sources, shades and in the road”.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">IF THESE INSTRUCTIONS ARE FOLLOWED ACCURATELY IN THE 21ST CENTURY, MOST OF THE GASTROINTESTINAL INFECTIONS COULD BE REDUCED AND HARMFUL INSECTS SUCH AS FLYS, (COCKROACHES - SPECIALLY DUE TO CLUTTER AND FOOD DIRT AROUND HOME) AND OTHER RELATED PROBLEMS COULD BE SIGNIFICANTLY REDUCED.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Severe clutter problems at home may be indicative of a more serious pathological issue, which the editor prefers to discuss in a different issue.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">In ISLAM, cleanliness is an important issue so much, so that, the prayers offered without being clean may be invalid.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Islam emphasizes on the cleanliness.<br /><br />The seven pre-requisites of Prayers are:<br />(1) Cleanliness of the body<br />(2) Cleanliness of the clothes<br />(3) Cleanliness of the place (where prayer is being offered)<br />(4) Hiding (covering) parts of the body-ordained to be covered.<br />(5) Time being proper for the prayer<br />(6) Facing the Qiblah and<br />(7) Saying the “intention” (Niyyah).</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">IT IS HIGHLY VIRTUES TO REMAIN IN WADU CONDITION IN ALL TIME.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">As per the focus of this issue, CLUTTER at HOME is the main point that is highlighted. CLA has done a tremendous job in terms of helping clients with problems with clutter. It is but natural to discuss about their origin and programs.</span><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;font-size:180%;" ><strong>WHAT IS CLUTTER?</strong></span><br />(<span style="font-weight: bold;">Clutteres Anonymous)</span></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Per definition by CLA, Clutter is anything we don’t need, want, or use that takes our space, and destroys our serenity. It can be - outgrown clothes, obsolete papers, broken toys, disliked gifts, meaningless activity, ancient resentments or unsatisfying relationships. We may be selective in some areas, but not in others, objects may be strewn about or wedged into drawers, neatly stacked or stowed in storage.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Our Clutter seems to have a life of its own, to multiply without effort on our part. We may feel overwhelmed controlled by our possessions, doomed to be hopelessly disorganized. No matter how we deal with our clutter, it can be a source of pain and shame to ourselves and to those we live with.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Despite this pain, we fear throwing things out. We think we might need it, fix it, and wear it again. We don’t want to be wasteful or ungrateful. We don’t know what to keep and what to discard. We don’t know how much is enough.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">De cluttering is not merely eliminating, but gradually transforming our space so that we surround ourselves with things that express our purpose. It means turning something useless into something useful, creating more leisure and space, being more honest in our relationships, eliminating distractions and simplifying our lives in order to find our spiritual roots.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Although we may cling to our clutter, what we really yearn for are surroundings of beauty, order, serenity, a balanced life and harmonious relationships.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">CLA believes that their “dis-ease” is threefold – physical, emotional and spiritual.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><br /><strong style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-family:arial;">PHYSICAL:</span></strong></span><br /><strong style="font-weight: bold;"></strong><span style="font-weight: bold;">This is the behavior that results in the stacks, the piles, and the objects that fill our home, our car, our workplace, and our world. Whether organized or strewn about, it is all so overwhelming. We find ourselves drowning in a sea of clutter. We have become owned by our possessions.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;" ><strong>EMOTIONAL:</strong></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">This is the fog we create in our heads- resentments, unfinished thoughts, emotional baggage, daydreams, worries about the future, regrets about the past Our mind is a constant spin, we lose today because our time is spent living in yesterday and tomorrow.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" ><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;" ><strong>SPIRITUAL:</strong></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">This is the deep emptiness we feel inside – the emptiness we compulsively try to fill by clinging to useless objects, non-productive ideas, meaningless activities and unsatisfying relationships.</span><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;"><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:130%;" ><strong>HOW CLUTTERS ANONYMOUS GOT STARTED?</strong></span><br /></div><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" ><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">CLA (</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Clutterers Anonymous) </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">was started on February 26, 1989 by two California women who wanted to bring order into their lives. They founded CLA to simplify their lives so that they could free their time to use their God-given talents and help others to accomplish the same thing. The first meeting was held in Simi Valley California, May 1989.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Clutterers Anonymous is a fellowship of individuals who share experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem with clutter and help others to recover. The only requirement for membership is a desire to eliminate clutter and bring order into their lives. They don’t have any dues or fees for membership; they are self-supporting through their own contributions, neither soliciting nor accepting outside donations. Clutterers Anonymous is not affiliated with any public or private organization, political movement, ideology, or religious doctrine, they take no position on outside issues. Their primary purpose is to eliminate clutter, to establish more order in their lives, and to carry their message of recovery to clutters that still suffer.</span><br /><br /><br /><strong style="font-weight: bold;"></strong><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;font-size:180%;" ><strong>TOOLS OF RECOVERY:</strong></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">ACTION:<br />Action is the magic word. They have found these actions helpful to create for themselves an environment of order, beauty and serenity.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MEETINGS:<br />They attend meetings to learn how the program works and to share their experience, strength and hope with each other.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">TELEPHONE:<br />They use the phone to keep in touch with other members of the fellowship between meetings. They make calls before and after any critical action (Book ending). Talking on the phone helps both members.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">DAILY ACTION:<br />They do something each day to further their recovery, doing what they can, no matter how small. Their goal is progress not perfection.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">BUDDIES:<br />Buddies are CLA members and helpmates in recovery. They can be called with the caller’s daily plan or ask for help with a project.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">SPONSORS:<br />Sponsors are CLA members who are committed to recovery through the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions. A Step sponsor leads us through the 12 Steps of recovery. They choose a sponsor who has what they want. The sponsor and buddy may be the same person.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">LITERATURE:<br />They use CLA literature and that of other 12 Step programs. Literature is an ever-available tool that helps them gain insight as well as strength to deal with their problem.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">SERVICE:<br />Service is giving back to the fellowship, from holding office to doing cleanup. It helps them to feel a part of the group and to solve problems cooperatively.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">FOCUSING:<br />Their goal is to do one thing at a time.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">STREAMLINING:<br />They honor what they own by setting limits on their possessions. They keep only what they use, and have space for. They realize that the more they acquire, the less they enjoy what they already have.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">EARMARKING:<br />They provide a place for their possessions and return them there. They create a home for anything before bringing it in. When they add a new item, they release an old one. For accessibility, beauty and peace of mind, they keep some empty space.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">They believe that they can recover from cluttering and use their experience to benefit others.<br /><br />They believe that they are entitled to surroundings of serenity and order and joyous lives.<br /><br />They simplify their lives, believing that when they need a fact or an item, it will be available to them.<br /><br />They nurture their spirit by surrounding themselves with beauty and harmony.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" ><strong>“THE TWELVE STEPS:</strong></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(1) We admitted we were powerless over clutter – that our lives had become unmanageable.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(2) Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(3) Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood God.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(4) Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(5) Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(6) Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(7) Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(8) Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(9) Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(10) Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(11) Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood God, praying only for the knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(12) Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" ><strong>THE TWELVE TRADITIONS:</strong></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" ><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(1) Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon Clutterers Anonymous unity.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(2) For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority – a loving God as expressed through our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(3) The only requirement for Clutterers Anonymous membership is a desire to eliminate clutter and bring order into our lives.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(4) Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups of Clutterers Anonymous as a whole.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(5) Each group has but one primary purpose – to carry its message to the person who still suffers.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(6) A Clutterers Anonymous group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the Clutterers Anonymous name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(7) Every Clutterers Anonymous group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(8) Clutters Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional but our service centers may employ special workers.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(9) Clutterers Anonymous, as such, ought never be organized, but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(10) Clutters Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the Clutterers Anonymous name ought never be drawn into public controversy.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(11) Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we always maintain personal anonymity the level of press, radio or films.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(12) Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities”</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;" ><strong>ACKNOWLEDGMENTS:</strong></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">(1) CLA-Clutterers Anonymous – A brief guide. You can subscribe to their newsletter, obtain additional literature & attend their meetings listed by STATE (Within U.S), Weekday, Time, Place, and City et.c. by checking out their website: </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.clutterersanonymous.net/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">http://www.clutterersanonymous.net/</a><span style="font-weight: bold;">.<br /><br />(2) Health: An Islamic Perspective: Dr. Ahmed Shawky Al-Fangary, KUWAIT” (</span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.islamset.com/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">http://www.islamset.com/</a><span style="font-weight: bold;">) </span></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3