Islamic Psychotherapy Online

(Revised version)

Volume 9, September 2009

St. Louis, Missouri

Editor: Hajji. Mohamed Ziauddin

IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE MOST BENEFICENT AND MOST MERCIFUL

WHERE DO WE DRAW THE LINES OF TOLERANCE?

EDITORIAL:

It is true, that Islam is a religion of TOLERANCE based on the teachings of Prophet Mohamed (pbuh) and the Holy Quran. On one hand all Muslims should strive for UNIVERSAL BROTHERHOOD and be tolerant and loving of one another. However when it comes to differences in lifestyles, including sexual orientations, the actions of the Ummah does not seem to reflect the degree of tolerance that Islam is ideally supposed to stand for. So the question is "Where do we draw the lines of tolerance"?

Based on Allah's command in the Holy Quran: "There is no compulsion in Religion", we are of the belief that we have no right to force our values on others. The least we can do to respect an adult human being is to accept them for what they are. Having said the above, if we do observe something that we feel is wrong, it is better that we work to address it in ways that is not overly critical, hateful, domineering, demeaning et.c. Trying to impact a change in anyone from the negative to the positive using the tools of affection, love, knowledge would be far more affective than using tools of force, reprimand, neglect, ostracism et.c. Any long lasting change COMES FROM ONE'S HEART and it comes VOLUNTARILY. As tolerant Muslims we need to take the above two into consideration.

We would love to have feedback from other Muslims in terms of their unique approach to deal with major differences that they find in the sexual lifestyles of other Muslims. Below is one example of a regular gathering of Muslims from sexually diverse lifestyles that do not include heterosexuals in GERMANY.

(The crowd at Gayhane, monthly party for Arab and Turkish gay men, lesbians and bisexuals at SO36, a Berlin nightclub) Berlin Journal

Berlin, Germany: (Berlin Journal):

GAY MUSLIMS PACK A DANCE FLOOR OF THEIR OWN:

“Six men whirled faster and faster in the center of the nightclub, arms slung over another’s shoulders, performing a traditional circle dance popular in Turkey and the Middle East. Most of the people filling the dance floor at the club SO36 in the Kreuzberg neighborhood were gay, lesbian or bisexual, and of Turkish or Arab background. They were there for the monthly club night knows as Gayhane, (hane means home in Turkish) an opportunity TO MERGE THEIR IMMIGRANT CULTURES AND THEIR SEXUAL IDENTITIES. Above event’s organizer was Fatma Souad a TRANSGENDER PERFORMER who was born as a male but dresses and appears like a female.

Gay men and lesbians from Muslims families in Germany say that they face extraordinary discrimination at home. A survey of roughly 1000 young men and women in Berlin, widely cited in the German press, found much higher levels of homophobia among Turkish youth. “These differences are there”, said Bernd Simon, who led the study and is Professor of Social Psychology at Christian-Albrechts-University in Kiel. “We can’t deny them. The question is how do we cope with them”. He added “The answer is not to replace homophobia with Islamophobia, pointing out that homophobia is also higher among Russian immigrants and in other, less urban parts of Germany.

Kader Balcik, a 22 year Turk from Hamburg, said: “For us, for Muslims, it’s extremely difficult. When you are gay, you are immediately cut off from the family”. He was cut off from his mother because he is bisexual. “A mother who wishes death for her son, what kind of mother is that?”, he asked, his eyes momentarily filling with tears.

Hasan, a 21 year old Arab man, sitting at a table in the club’s quieter adjoining cafe stated: “They would kill me. My brothers would kill me.” Asked if he meant this figuratively, he responded,” No, I mean they would kill me”. He added “I’m living one life here and the other one the way they wish me to be,” Hasan said, referring to his parents. He said he still planned to marry, but when he turned 30 rather than right away, as his parents wished. “I have to have children, to do what Islam wants me to do,” he said. “I would stop with everything in the homosexual life. I would stop it”. (New York Times 1/1/2008).

As usual feel free to e-mail your comments to info@mehrunyusuficds.com.