ISLAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY ONLINE

Volume 18, June 2010
St. Louis, Missouri, USA

Editor: Mohamed Ziauddin

In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful

HOW CAN THE UMMAH BE MORE EFFECTIVE IN LOVING AND HELPING EACH OTHER?

(DISCLAIMER:
Some of below mentioned incidents in no way reflects the general unmatched, unparalleled superior quality of services offered by various agencies within the United States. In fact, the Government and the people of the United States are in my personal opinion one of the most open minded and generous people in the world. Not surprisingly you could find people settled down in the U.S from almost every corner of the world. The U.S has generously accommodated millions of refugees from across the conflict zones of the world and has assisted them to settle down in the U.S. Having said the above, as in every culture and country in the world, there is always a small minority of people who I call the "bad apples" who are prejudiced and if not noticed, would not mind violating their own work related policies to express their hate and/or ignorance).

Once a Muslim brother told me, that he was very depressed and did not know how he could ever pay off his (federal) educational loans. Especially that he has become disabled after getting into an accident and suffering both medical and psychological problems. I arranged him to complete the Application to Discharge his Student Loan and he followed up with his Dr to get a letter of permanent disability and his main financial stressor of the huge loans was wiped out.

WE ARE ONE UMMAH IN PRACTICE WHEN WE HELP EACH OTHER.

One day in a hospital where I worked, a Muslim woman with hijab came and told me that when she went to the appropriate Govt office and tried to apply for Medical insurance, she was denied. She was a new immigrant from overseas and was five months pregnant. I was really surprised of her denial and wondered about it. Even the undocumented aliens illegally entering the country are given Medical insurance if they were pregnant, how could our Muslima, a legal permanent resident be denied the benefit. I have a strong belief that a piece of cloth over the head of a woman should not make such a prejudicial difference in the outcome of delivery of social services and this is “dead wrong”. I then wrote in an official letter head, a letter addressed to the appropriate agency indicating that I was her Social Worker and referring her to apply for Medical insurance and other related benefits. Later, the Muslima came back and told me about the good news of acceptance of her Medical application and also approval of cash aid and food stamps.

I once worked at a Mental Health facility, and there was one Muslim patient who prayed five times a day within the facility and showed extreme distaste of pork. The non-Muslim Clinician in his documentation made a note that the inmate may have “Obsessive-Compulsive disorder” because he was frequently washing his hands. Apparently the Clinician had no idea that Pt had to wash his hands and feet as part of ablution before his prayers five times a day. He just observed Pt washing his hands and feet & gave him a label via a clinical diagnosis. The same clinician did not know that Muslims did not eat pork and when Pt had reacted extremely hard to the topic of eating pork, the Clinician concluded that Pt may be “paranoid” about pork and other related issues. Above Muslim SW educated the Clinician on Islam.

A female Muslim teenager came running inside her home from her front yard, crying and saying to her mother that one of her School female classmates attacked her (right in front of her house) and pulled a part of her hair creating a bald spot on her head and telling her that “Osama is your uncle” and “Osama is hiding in your house”. The mother does not know English and contacted me for help. The same female teenager was physically attacked for the second time by the same female student/ perpetrator. I had talked to the School Vice Principal and learnt that they cannot do anything about it since the incident happened outside the School grounds. I advised the teenager’s mother on appropriate steps to take. Police were called and the perpetrator was given a warning and the teenager was never hassled again in any way by the above perpetrator.

A new Muslim African immigrant female student with very limited knowledge of English was made fun of by few of her African-American female students. In one instance they traumatized her by ganging up close to her and threatening her by pointing a knife at her throat in the female restroom. The victim’s parents don’t speak English and contacted me. I called the School Social Worker and followed up on it. On a follow up phone call, I learnt that the Muslim student’s harassment had subsided and she reported no more harassment since then.

A homeless Muslim woman at a Shelter stated to the staff that she does not eat pork. She was told that she should be happy that she was at least getting something to eat. She was not offered any substitute of either vegetables or any other dish. Upon knowing the above, I arranged for her transfer to a different shelter that was sensitive to her Islamic values and offered substitute food.

A Muslim female who strongly believed in hijab but was scared to identify herself as a Muslim wore a silk hijab that had the picture of an American Flag while going to public places. She stated that she feels safer being visibly patriotic (American) and also a devout Muslim. Should one display an American Flag over their head to be safe? This was not the America that most of us know.

WORST OF ALL, there was a Muslim family that abruptly becomes homeless after loss of job and subsequent eviction. (Note: 83 percent of American families live from pay check to pay check). The father, mother and children were living in a car camping close to the Masjid. When they approached the ISLAMIC CENTER (Masjid) for help, they were given a small amount that hardly lasted for few days. Shockingly, the father was told by the Masjid Management staff that if he again approaches them for help, Police will be called.

BROTHERS AND SISTERS, WHERE IS THE SPIRIT OF UMMAH and the true feeling that WE ARE ONE COMMUNITY. We don’t expect any Masjid to house the family, but at least they should have referred the family to various family shelters that are available. Unfortunately most of the Masjids do not have a list of such Emergency Housing Resources. We recommend that the Social Service Committees of Islamic Centers have a list of such resources of emergency housing and other basic needs and provide to the needy Muslims as appropriate.

People like the above family are an integral part of our UMMAH and let’s not increase their stressors and anxiety by threatening to call the Police.

In short, the Muslim community in the US is not immune to the social problems that exist in the American society today. Unfortunately, there is no real co-ordinated Islamic infrastructure that currently exists to deal with the social problems faced by the Muslims within the US from an Islamic perspective. The Muslim Community in the US needs to get together and build above infrastructure literally from ground up.

Distributing the Zakat funds each Ramzan to the needy is a great step, but in my personal opinion it hardly fulfills even one percent of our needy Muslim population’s need. The resources are already there in the general SOCIAL SERVICES offered by the Federal, State, County and Private Organizations. We don’t need to “re-invent the wheel”. All we need is to blend in with our own Islamic Organizational Social Structural Supports as the Christian and Jewish Social Service Organizations have already done and then team up and co-ordinate with all of them.

The Social Service Committee as mentioned in previous issues could essentially act as a bridge connecting a needy Muslim to the existing resources in an Islamic friendly fashion. This specially applies to the Muslims who do not have access to the various resources for reasons only they know best – Either they have no idea of the resources, or they are shy & not assertive to ask for help and continue to silently suffer, or they do not speak English and are hesitant to reach out. Not surprisingly, hundreds if not thousands of available resources that they could have easily assessed is inadvertently blocked out from such needy individuals.

Such Social Service Committees can be like a ONE-STOP center and CLEARING HOUSE to provide needed information and refer the Muslim to the appropriate resources. If they are brushed aside because of their hijab as in the incident mentioned above, or because of their Muslim name or any other prejudicial reason, you can contact us and we can attempt to follow up.

To us, this is what a true UMMAH is about and it goes way and far beyond just reading the Salaat together in a Masjid or during Idd prayers.

We need to explore all possible ways to literally join our hands together and help the needy Muslims to the best of our ability.

THE END

ISLAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY ONLINE
Volume 17, May, 2010
St. Louis, Missouri, USA

Editor: Mohamed Ziauddin

In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful

EDITORIAL:

ARE WE ONE UMMAH? SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT…….

The word “Ummah” gets recycled & repeated again and again during speeches on Fridays, Idd days and other Islamic special occasions. But to what extent are we really applying it in practice in terms of a strong sense of brotherhood, unity, helping each other especially the most vulnerable ones in our community et.c. ?

Let’s analyze one real life example indicated below, to see whether we are indeed one UMMAH just in words or in practice.

Several years ago, a young Muslim woman immigrant from overseas with no family support in the US, suddenly developed serious medical problems and unexpectedly died leaving behind a one year old female child.

Her last words to her friends before her death was that she wanted her child to be raised a Muslim.

Appeals were made on Friday prayers and through informal ways to find any Muslim family that could adopt and raise the child. There was not ONE single individual from our local UMMAH who was willing to adopt the born Muslim infant

Of course in numbers; we are thousands if not millions. Look at the Idd congregations in the major cities for a sample. Just try to take a new initiative for the good of the Muslim Community, with the best of intentions and see for yourself the quick multiple negative judgmental responses you will receive. compared to positive responses of support.

But when it comes to requesting their participation by action & implementation, only then you tend to face the REALITY in the form of either silence or minimal support.

With regard to the above infant, not surprisingly, there was no Muslim family coming forward to adopt the infant, and therefore the infant was adopted by a Christian family and could now be assumed to be possibly attending Church, maybe eating pork and maybe raised as a Christian.

For our dear Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist and Atheist brothers and sisters of Humanity, whom we love, we don't mean any disrespect.

THE FOCUS IS ON RESPECTING THE WISHES OF THE MOTHER OF THE INFANT.

THINK OF IT….That under the very eyes of the local UMMAH, a born Muslim is now a Christian, all because there was not a single MUSLIM who could step up to the plate and adopt this innocent Muslim infant. This same infant may grow up one day to be an adult Christian mother and later a grandmother and she is likely to pass on the same Christian values that she learned from her Christian parents, to her future generation.

Please note that the death of a mother alone (with no known relatives or friends willing to adopt the child) is not the only cause for a child to be considered for adoption. What is more frequent is when the parents are charged with severe abuse or neglect of the child and remain non-compliant with Court’s recommendation for correction OR the parents may have a medical or psychiatric or substance abuse condition so severe that it significantly impairs their ability to care for their child, and they have no known relatives or friends to adopt the child. In such situations, the child could be given up for adoption.

For many Muslim parents, especially those who were born overseas; receiving physical punishment as a means of discipline during their childhood was essentially a normal practice. When such parents re-enact their socially learned child disciplining behavior with their own children in the U.S., at times, they get into legal problems. This initially results in their children being taken away as the ward of the Family Services & Courts and placed in the Foster Care System.

SOMETHING TO REFLECT:

An innocent, extremely vulnerable, helpless, Muslim infant who could not speak for herself given her infancy and who lost her mother resulting in zero family support system, was subsequently considered for adoption, with priority given to any MUSLIM family that would come forward to adopt her.

FINAL OUTCOME: NO MUSLIM AVAILABLE TO ADOPT THE INFANT.

Now you decide for yourself whether we were just spectators and UMMAH in words only OR not.

DEAR BROTHERS AND SISTERS, I AM ASKING YOU WHAT IS THE STRENGTH AND BONDING OF SUCH A UMMAH THAT COULD NOT COME TO THE RESCUE OF ITS VERY OWN MOST VULNERABLE ONE YEAR OLD?

If you work actively in the Social Services field, you will know for sure, that above was not an exception. If anything, it was just one of the many examples. Many more Muslim children had already inadvertently became Non-Muslims, does the Ummah know about it? It is time that we implement in PRACTICE what ideally a truly UMMAH should be.

TO PREVENT SUCH LAPSES IN FUTURE WE APPEAL TO THE ISLAMIC CENTERS AND OTHER MUSLIM ORGANIZATIONS TO GO WAY BEYOND IMPLEMENTING THE IMPORTANT RITUALISTIC AND RELIGIOUS PRACTICES AND REACH OUT TO THE PROBLEMATIC LIVES OF OUR VULNERABLE MUSLIMS. PLEASE ATTEMPT TO, IF POSSIBLE HAVE A SOCIAL SERVICE COMMITTEE THAT ASSISTS WITH SOCIAL SERVICE ISSUES FOR MUSLIMS IN THEIR LOCAL COMMUNITY.

WE APPEAL TO THE AMERICAN UMMAH TO REFER OR FORWARD US A LIST OF INTERESTED COUPLES/FAMILIES THAT ARE OPEN TO ADOPTION OR TO BE A FOSTER PARENT. HAVING SUCH A DATABASE WOULD BE OF TREMENDOUS HELP TO DEPARTMENT OF FAMILY AND CHILDREN SERVICES OF VARIOUS STATES TO MORE EASILY FIND MUSLIM PARENTS WHO ARE WILLING TO ADOPT A MUSLIM INFANT OR BE A FOSTER PARENT FOR THE MUSLIM CHILD.

COMMENTARY:

What you are observing in above example is a general absence of Organizational Islamic Social Structural Supports that could easily be a bridge to connect the needy Muslim (whether it is a Muslim infant waiting to be adopted OR any other needy Muslim that needs Social Service help) with the existing resources. As per the above recommendation of setting up SOCIAL SERVICE COMMITTEES, the staff of such committees could link the “Muslim in Need” with a vast array of Federal, State, County and Private Social Services that are available and endeavoring its best to ensure that the “Muslim in Need” receives such services in an Islamically sensitive and Islamic-friendly manner. Such service is specially helpful to those who have language difficulties and unable to access the community resources.

THE END